[活动] 2.23作文 [复制链接]

mangohaha
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-2-23 21:40:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

2.23 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.
Personally, in the highly competitive era, there is an increasing number of matters people should tackle with. Meanwhile, the time and energy spent on a certain thing have been decreasing. Accordingly, I agree with the statement that people are too busy dealing with various things as the topic says. However, as for the assertion that people cannot do things well I hold an opposite view.

Admittedly, there is no denying that as the development of modern society, people have to deal with more things and solve more problems than before. There are numerous examples about new technologies. First the development of automobile, which not only bring to people convenient life, but also acid rain, global warming and so forth. Generally, when people enjoy the benefit of modern technologies, correspondingly, they have to shoulder much more responsibilities than before. From this angle, it is obvious that people are busy.

However, even we can concede that people become busy doing too many things, can we argue that people can do few things well? In my opinion, the answer is negative. Granted that advanced technology brings about a series of problems, in some degree, it is an effect method of solving these problems and hence improving our abilities of doing things well. Although the automobile results in the air-pollution, it can be solved by another technology that is, solar energy. Common sense informs us that solar energy can be applied on cars, particularly, which has nothing to do with the air-pollution or energy crisis. In short, people who are busy doing new researches and solving old problems can deal with these things regularly.

Lastly, besides the developmental technologies can help people deal with things well, some other methods also play key roles in the process. Here I’ll take an example about myself in daily life. As a student, I have too many courses to learn, so I have a perfect tool which can help me design my time regularly and do things well, that is my planner. Furthermore, in modern society, considering teamwork exerts a positive effect to everyone, people can do things well with the help of others when we are busy, or cannot finish it well. Ultimately, assisted by others, even people who are busy can also do things well.

Summarily, I do agree that people have to be busy dealing with a growing number of problems. However, modern technologies, friends, effective tools, everything that can help us do things well making fewer errors.

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刀小镜
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沙发

发表于 2010-2-24 12:04:39 |只看该作者

本帖最后由刀小镜于 2010-2-24 12:07 编辑

Personally, in the highly competitive era, there is (are)an increasing number of matters people should tackle with. Meanwhile, the time and energy spent on a certain thing have been decreasing(decreased). Accordingly, I agree with the statement that people are too busy dealing with various things as the topic says(said). However, as for the assertion that people cannot do things well I hold an opposite view.

Admittedly, there is no denying that as the development of modern society, people have to deal with more things and solve more problems than before. There are numerous examples about new technologies. First the development of automobile, which not only bring(brings) to people convenient life, but also acid rain, global warming and so forth.(not only but also 应该前后对称，所以but also后面也应该有个动词) Generally, when people enjoy the benefit(s) of modern technologies, correspondingly, they have to shoulder much more responsibilities than before. From this angle, it is obvious that people are busy.

However, even we can concede
(上面一段已经承认人们很忙了，为什么这里却有even concede了？)that people become busy doing too many things,(;这是两个独立完整的句子，应该用分号分开) can we argue that people can do few things well? In my opinion, the answer is negative. Granted that advanced technology brings about a series of problems, in some degree, it is an effect method of solving these problems and hence improving our abilities of doing things well. Although the automobile results in(不太确定这里这么用合不合适，如果是我我会选择用leads to) the air-pollution, it can be solved by another technology that is(换成such as), solar energy. Common sense informs us that solar energy can be applied on cars, particularly, which has nothing to do with the air-pollution or energy crisis. In short, people who are busy doing new researches and solving old problems can deal with these things regularly.(这段例子举的不贴切，题目是问因为人们面临亟待解决的问题越来越多因此只能做好一两件事情。然而你这个例子是说那些搞科研的人可以和好的解决能源问题，这本来就是他们的本职工作啊而且也没有体现出他们需要解决很多不同的事情)

Lastly, besides the developmental technologies can help people deal with things well, some other methods also play key roles in the process. Here I’ll take an example about myself in daily life. As a student, I have too many courses to learn, so I have a perfect tool which can help me design my time regularly and do things well, that is my planner. Furthermore, in modern society, considering teamwork exerts a positive effect to(on) everyone, people can do things well with the help of others when we are busy, or cannot finish it well. Ultimately, assisted by others, even people who are busy can also do things well.(这一段和前面一段都是在论证一件事情，这段有些鸡肋)

Summarily, I do agree that people have to be busy dealing with a growing number of problems. However, modern technologies, friends, (and)effective tools, everything(all of them) that can help us do things well (with)making(去掉) fewer errors.

因为我这一篇写的也不好所以对思路上提不出什么很有建设性的意见，个人认为姑娘的思路是正确的但是例子并没有很好的支持自己的观点。
语言方面略显平淡，姑娘应该还有一段时间才考试多背背好句子多写文章肯定会有很大进步的。加油^^

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elvis_ma UID: 2568469 elvis_ma 当前离线最后登录 2010-12-17 在线时间 57 小时寄托币 238 声望 0 注册时间 2008-11-5 阅读权限 5 帖子 3 精华 0 积分 162 UID 2568469 禁止发言声望 0 寄托币 238 注册时间 2008-11-5 精华 0 帖子 3 主页发消息	板凳发表于 2010-2-24 21:49:59 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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