[a习作temp] argument20 20天开始冲刺-限时未果-敬请请教 [复制链接]

itsuper
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发表于 2010-3-1 20:55:27 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 itsuper 于 2010-3-1 21:19 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT20 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
WORDS: 332       TIME: 00:45:00       DATE: 2010/3/1 20:47:31

In this argument, the author suggest to limit the renting number of mopeds to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. To support this point , the writer points out the population of Balmer reaches 100,000 duing the summer months and cites a sample that Torseau ,whose town council carried out similar limits on moped rentals ,has successfully reduced the moped accidents. However, the argument suffers several flaws ,which render it unconvincing.

To begin with, the author fails to show that moped accidents was mainly caused by  excessive  mopeds.  Lacking clear evidence showing the excessive number of mopeds is the main factor of moped accidents, it is entirely possible that some other factors ,such as disregard of traffic rules, mainly lead to the accidents.

Secondly, the mere fact that the limits has considerable effect in Torseau is not sufficient to indicate it would also apply Balmer Island. Without comparing and analysing the difference between the two islands ,  the assumption that the measure about limiting number of mopeds would have the same effect on Balmer Island remains unconvinsing.  It is likely Balmer differs a lot from Torseau and limiting the number of rentals may not be an effective way to reduce moped accidents.

Finally, supposing the measure relevant to limiting number of rentals do have good effect on reducing moped accidents , it is impossible to ensure the 50 percent reduction. The author donot provide any evidence to show how many moped accidents can be avoided. Lacking such evidence , it is possible that the measure is not so effective and it can only reduce 10 persent moped accidents.

In sum, the argument is not convincing as it stands . To bolster it, the author must substantiate that the excessive number of mopeds cause most moped accidents. The author also should analyse the difference between the two island and support clearly evidence to show that it is possible to reduce 50 percent moped accidents by limiting the number of rentals.

照自己提纲写的，还是比较慢，看来中==>英的能力要加强
或是用英文提纲会快一些呢?  还望路过板友板主指教