[a习作temp] 请大家多指教。习作Argument200 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-17 12:03:55 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 Bela1229 于 2010-3-17 13:10 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collectedfrom dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint whilevisiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to bedistressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasizeboth the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity oftheir staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 457
TIME: 0:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-17

The arugument is well-presented, but thoroughly not well-rreasoned.
Firstly, the author's conclusion that the dentists should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity is based on the dubious statistics. We donot know how many people were taken into account in this survey, and how many responded, and we donot informed that when such statistics collected, may be it collected decades years ago, and many other alternative possibilities can make the result change, it is possible that now it is not the case at all. Such as, many years ago, the facilities of the dentists are poorand lack of advanced technology. Now the technology's development results in that little number of men faint. Thus, for the statistics is insufficient and problematic to the conclusion, the author's need to give more evidence to substantiate the stastics.
Secondly, even if the statistics are convinced, it is not indicate that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. The author omits many other alternatives, it is entirely possible that noly a few men faint while visiting the dentist, and the statistics depends on such a group of the men and considering nothing about others or may be there are only few women responded in the survey. Therefore, the evidence can not suggest that men are more likelyto be distressed about having dental work done than women are.
Thirdly, the author cites that dentists whoadvertise to attract patients should target the male consumer is based on the assumption that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. But in the above statements, we can know that the assumption is dubious. Thus the conclusion is insufficient. And at the sametime, the author omits that if dentists do what the author's saying then thedentists would lost many women patients. Commen sense tells us the number of women patients of teeth is much larger than the number of men. And women are more likely to care their teeth and have more willing to visit the dentists.
Furthermore, even if the dentists emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and thesensitivity of their staff that does not mean many patients will go to visit these denstists. First, the number of male patients is smaller than women, and the number of men who will faint during the operation is just a small portion in the total number of men pateint. Secondly, the ads do not indicate that the patient will be attracted by the dentists’ claims.
In sum, the argument is not well-reasoned,we need more and convinced evidence to support the author's conclusion.