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jcf2008
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-3-11 23:13:53 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

首次尝试，清猛踢！

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yanlingwan
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沙发

发表于 2011-3-12 12:48:10 |只看该作者

issue 235：
"Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty—whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution—is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force."

Is loyalty all too often a destructive（名词） rather than a positive force （这个换成one如何？）, or as the most people claim that loyalty is a virtue? To answer the question, we should consider it with the extent of loyalty. Within a proper range, loyalty- to one's friends, to one's company, or to one's country- always serves as a beneficial force. However, loyalty, as a kind of extreme emotion, sometimes may have a negative impact on both the person and the objects he or she keeps loyal to.

貌似是说忠诚不是太好？大负小正~

Proper behaved loyalty plays an indispensible role in setting up a company or even establishing a country. In the 1950s, Japan was still embraced by the deficiency and depression. The business owners of most Japanese companies encourage the employees to honor working for the companies and society. They took a lot of measures to incite employees to gain hope and loyalty totheir companies and the society’s future. Within a few years, their employees regained their aspiration and trust. The employees regard the company as their family and work diligently to building their company. Similarly, citizens in this country contribute assets and themselves to building Japan a far more prosperous country than ever. Until now the country is still benefiting in the high loyalty from the employees and citizens to the companies and the country.
（加一个结论句如何）

Considering loyalty as a merit, it is easily to find thousands of verses and literatures about extolling the heroes who are all loyal to their country and emperor. For example, in the famous poems Eliot and Helios, two ancient heroes were both famous for their brave and intelligence. The readers showed more appreciation to Eliot, who suicide when his country was defeated, rather than Helios, who captivated after the defeat. Taking a closer look at the example, it is easily to find that our society has inclination to value loyalty, no matter the activity is worth or not. Sometimes, over-emphasis the greatness of loyalty may rebel the original purpose of promoting loyalty, to constitute better a society, by going against the humanity.

说忠诚是一种优秀品质，举了例子，但是还没总结又说过度忠诚不好。

On the other hand, zealots and jingoists, who display extremely loyalty to a person or institution, may become the impediment of the society. （应该是想承接上文的，不过上一段不只是有一种一种意思，如果把忠诚的缺点安排到这段再让步一下是不是好些呢）During the Second World War, the frantic and cruel jingoists, especially in Germany, deracinated numerous Jewish people to show their respect and loyalty to their spiritual idols, Hitler. In this war, misguide and overextended loyalty displays its strong power to the whole world in a destructive way. The charisma leaders with iniquitous purposes disabused his followers’ loyalty and zeal to fulfill the distorted and destructive aspiration. And it is the loyalty that destroys the jingoists, the spiritual leader and their empire. With the development of society, misleading and overextended loyalty and zeal seldom occurs in life, as people are getting more education about morality and humanity. But blindness loyalty still exists in some remote and poor areas.

In sum, loyalty can be both the force to prosper a country and the power to ruin the disciplines of the world. Using the force of loyalty appropriately can achieve the goals of both individuals and the society. However, disabusing loyalty can bring nightmares to the human beings.

感觉是现在观点是有些偏中立，适当加强如何。

全文是比较清晰的，但是每一段似乎有两层意思但第二层没有说，而前一层也不总结。建议围绕中心句子写啊~~~

其他的我能力有限也就看不出什么了，过段时间再看看又没说有新发现。改的不好见谅啊，~~有问题随时交流！！

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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jcf2008
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板凳

发表于 2011-3-12 22:02:21 |只看该作者

2# yanlingwan
谢谢修改~ 才开始准备，写得很艰难。
想请教下yanlingwan同学，一般一篇issue写多久呢？

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jcf2008
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地板

发表于 2011-3-12 22:41:54 |只看该作者

issue144

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jcf2008
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5楼

发表于 2011-3-13 23:30:30 |只看该作者

issue70

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jcf2008
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6楼

发表于 2011-3-14 22:52:15 |只看该作者

issue 184. 球拍~

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远远在笑
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7楼

发表于 2011-3-14 23:36:49 |只看该作者

上次的

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2011 transfer CUBoulder UI
感恩呈现：我的坎坷申美路的感触https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1287608&pid=1775383686&page=1&extra=page%3D1

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rourourou_dada
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8楼

发表于 2011-3-15 20:46:11 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 rourourou_dada 于 2011-3-15 20:47 编辑

issue184：
"It is a grave mistake to theorize before one has data."

Studying meathods varies with different areas, such as arts and sciences and social sciences. And people draw conclusions and make theorise based on differen standards. When it comes to science, scientists make theories, even hypothesis based anlasis(analysis) of data, no matter wheter it is sufficient. However, in the arts and social sciences, theorizing before we have data is a common event and sometimes a must. It relies on the common sense and our ability to prescribe what events may occur.

In the scientific area, scientists are required to find the rules of nature or make some invention based on the principles and rules of nature. Without collecting the data of testing those theories or inventions, they can hardly make their position reliable and accepted by the expertiese in their own fields. That is why when Enistein(Einstein) first posed his famous theory of relativity, there were very few people understand and trust him. It takes about 10 years for other physicians to design experiments to prove his theory. Although most of his theory is correct, he still modify the theory with the data from experiments. 这个例子不太好，感觉在反驳自己的观点 Maybe there was no grave mistakes in Enistein's case, it dose not mean any other scientists, who is less intelligent than Enistein, can acchive the success. 这话太伤人感情了……其他科学家智商没爱因斯坦高难道就不行吗？Considering the ancient scientists who made numerous grave conclusions without data, such as the earth-centered theory and the gensis theory, are misguiding the whole society for about a thousand of years. Their cursory stoped science to advance and the human society to process.这里可以举个例子，论证自己的观点

However, when scholars do research on the the arts and human society, data is often of little use in the research. The art scholars and sociologists do most of their anlysis on the art works and human customs. For example, when evaluating novels, scholars focus mostly on the styles and meanings of the certain art works. It is a common sense that it is the hidden meaning from the artists that appeals scholars rather than the exact words or characters the novel has. Similarly, the sociologists draw more attention on whether the native Americans were influenced more by the European explores, or the imigrates acustomed to the native Americans. A sociologist who displays his or her interests on what's the vegetable and animals are native on the New Continent are more likely to be a biologists or ecologists. What's more, those areas emphysize more on the emotional and spiritual changes the arts or customs bring to us and society.这里可以举一些例子，比如perspective（中文打不出，说是不良内容……）之类的
这段论证感觉有点离题啊，或者说理性更强些，让大家都能接受

In sum, it is not reasonable to assert that there will be great mistatkes of the theories before one has data. Whether data is in need depends on the studying fields of the researchers. And even in scientific areas, hypothesis only with percise thinking patterns, but lacking accurate experiment data is hard for people to accept.最后一句话可以在之前展开论证啊~~

感觉观点有点偏题啊，你可以找更好地切入点，而且可以多找找支持你自己的例子~~
你先多找找思路，加油啊！！

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