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libby
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电梯直达

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发表于 2004-3-3 18:09:04 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

63. To truly understand your own culture-no matter how you define it-requires personal knowledge of at least one other culture, one that is distinctly different from your on.
14:50
Nowadays, with the development of globalization and human being mobility, different people who come from different cultural background learn and work together, and accordingly the communication of culture also has been increased. It is very vital for people to understand their own culture, which can contribute them to understand other culture, facilitate the connection and interaction of people, and reduce the misunderstanding among people. How can we apprehend our own culture thoroughly? It is an effective and efficient way for people to understand their culture, which is to learn another culture, and then compare it with their own. Thus, people can understand their own culture completely.

Anyone who lives in his or her own region, they will form their particular culture. You cannot understand your culture from an objective angle since your friends have the same view of culture as you. As we all known that individuals who live in the same circumstance have more similar characters, hobbies, and even values. The chief reason of the case is their cultural background is alike. The foundation of culture is not a short time but a long period, which often need undergo several thousands of years; so the influence for people is also deep and extensive. If a person only knows his or her own culture, he or she will never know why people would like to hold such view, or why people like doing so; because he or she do never think there may be another thought, as well he or she only do the similar thing what others do.

However, studying another culture can be conducive people to find the distinctions among different cultures, and discover the advantages and disadvantages of his or her own culture. Take oriental culture as an example; before researchers study the west culture, it is difficult for them to understand why oriental children have less creative ideas than the west children, but after they study the west culture, they find the critical reason is the view of absolute following, which has rooted in the mind of oriental persons for many years. Absolute following make children be afraid to propose their own ideas, and show their true feeling. With the past of time, children will also have little innovative ideas. On the contrary, in the west, parents give enough right for children to express their ideas, their feeling, and their dissatisfactions. When children grow up, they have more innovative ideas and independence. Just as for the difference of culture, different people have different characters; thus when we learn other cultures we can understand why our culture is like this but not that.

In addition, through the study and comparison of different cultures, people can learn from other cultures and make up the intrinsic deficiencies of their own culture. Similarly, as absolute following is one of the deficiencies of our culture, we should change it. How can we improve it? It is a appreciative means for us to learn from the west culture because their advantage is just our disadvantage. We can learn how to perfect our culture through comparing the oriental culture with the west. Thus, in the process of comparison, people can understand their own culture deeply. Hence, the comparison of cultures benefits people to learn from each other/ one another.

In conclusion, it is an effective and efficient way to understand one's own culture that people should learn at least another culture and compare it with their own.

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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libby
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沙发

发表于 2004-3-3 22:58:29 |只看该作者

有空的帮忙看看啊！谢了！

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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apolloxp
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板凳

发表于 2004-3-3 23:33:43 |只看该作者

Nowadays, with the development of globalization and human being mobility, different people who come from different cultural background learn and work together, and accordingly the communication of culture also has been increased. It is very vital for people to understand their own culture, which can contribute them to understand other culture, facilitate the connection and interaction of people, and reduce the misunderstanding among people. How can we apprehend our own culture thoroughly? It is an effective and efficient way for people to understand their culture, which is to learn another culture, and then compare it with their own.（这句话怪怪的，不如改成The effective and efficient way... is to learn from another culture and...） Thus, people can understand their own culture completely.

Anyone who lives in his or her own region, they（没有连词，并且anyone 和they 不对应） will form their particular culture. You cannot understand your culture from an objective angle（aspect可能更好一点） since your friends have the same view of culture as you. As we all known that individuals who live in the same circumstance have more similar characters, hobbies, and even values. The chief reason of the case is their cultural background is alike. The foundation of culture is not（foundation 不是time 不能用is，这句话重新组织以下吧） a short time but a long period, which often need undergo several thousands of years（要么several thousand years，要么thousands of years）; so the influence for people is also deep and extensive. If a person only knows his or her own culture, he or she will never know why people would like to hold such view, or why people like doing so; because he or she do never think there may be another thought, as well he or she only do the similar thing what others do.

However, studying another culture can be conducive （漏for）people to find the distinctions among different cultures, and discover the advantages and disadvantages of his or her own culture. Take oriental culture as an example; before researchers study the west culture, it is difficult for them to understand why oriental children have less creative ideas than the west children, but after they study the west culture, they find the critical reason is the view of absolute following, which has rooted in the mind of oriental persons for many years. Absolute following make（makes） children be afraid to propose their own ideas, and show their true feeling. With the past of time, children will also have little innovative ideas. On the contrary（似乎是by contrast）, in the west, parents give enough right for children to express their ideas, their feeling, and their dissatisfactions. When children grow up, they have more innovative ideas and independence. Just as for the difference of culture, different people have different characters; thus when we learn other cultures we can understand why our culture is like this but not that.

In addition, through the study and comparison of different cultures, people can learn from other cultures and make up the intrinsic deficiencies of their own culture. Similarly, as absolute following is one of the deficiencies of our culture, we should change it. How can we improve it? It is a appreciative means for us to learn from the west culture because their advantage is just our disadvantage. We can learn how to perfect our culture through comparing the oriental culture with the west（that of the west）. Thus, in the process of comparison, people can understand their own culture deeply. Hence, the comparison of cultures benefits people to learn from each other/ one another.

In conclusion, it is an effective and efficient way to understand one's own culture that people should learn at least another culture and compare it with their own.
文中例子只说了东方人要了解西方文化，稍欠说服力，最好再提一下西方人也要理解东方文化，因为你的论点是对所有社会而言的。

Life is full of drama.

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吭哧吭哧啃啃
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地板

发表于 2004-3-3 23:41:53 |只看该作者

63. To truly understand your own culture-no matter how you define it-requires personal knowledge of at least one other culture, one that is distinctly different from your on.
14:50
Nowadays, with the development of globalization and human being mobility, different people who come from different cultural background learn and work together, and accordingly subsequntlythe communication of culture also has been increased. It is very vital for people to understand their own culture, which can contribute them to understand other culture, facilitate the connection and interaction of people, and reduce the misunderstanding among people. How can we apprehend our own culture thoroughly? It there is an effective and efficient way for people to understand their culture, which is-that is people should try to learn another culture(, and then compare it with their own. Thus, people can understand their own culture completely.which can help understand their own culture completely)总之,这几句要改改

Anyone who lives in his or her own region, they will form their particular culture. You cannot understand your culture from an objective angle since your friends have the same view of culture as you. As we all known that individuals who live in the same circumstance have more similar characters, hobbies, and even values. The chief reason of the case is their cultural background is alike. The foundation of culture is not a short time but a long period, which often need undergo several thousands of years; so the influence for people is also deep and extensive. If a person only knows his or her own culture, he or she will never know why people would like to hold such view, or why people like doing so; because he or she do never think there may be another thought, as well he or she only do the similar thing what others do.

However, studying another culture can be conducive people to find the distinctions among different cultures, and discover the advantages and disadvantages of his or her own culture. Take oriental culture as an example; before researchers study the west culture, it is difficult for them to understand why oriental children have less creative ideas than the west children, but after they study the west culture, they find the critical reason is the view of absolute following, which has rooted in the mind of oriental persons for many years. Absolute following make children be afraid to propose their own ideas, and show their true feeling. With the past of time, children will also have little innovative ideas. On the contrary, in the west, parents give enough right for children to express their ideas, their feeling, and their dissatisfactions. When children grow up, they have more innovative ideas and independence. Just as for the difference of culture, different people have different characters; thus when we learn other cultures we can understand why our culture is like this but not that.

In addition, through the study and comparison of different cultures, people can learn from other cultures and make up the intrinsic deficiencies of their own culture. Similarly, as absolute following is one of the deficiencies of our culture, we should change it. How can we improve it? It is a appreciative means for us to learn from the west culture because their advantage is just our disadvantage绝对了点. We can learn how to perfect our culture through comparing the oriental culture with the west. Thus, in the process of comparison, people can understand their own culture deeply. Hence, the comparison of cultures benefits people to learn from each other/ one another.

In conclusion, it is an effective and efficient way to understand one's own culture that people should learn at least another culture and compare it with their own.论正不错,加油

做题目~~~
一题两题三题四题望着天
对答案错一个两个三个连成片
　背背背　默默许下心愿
　　　看远方的星是否听得见

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libby
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5楼

发表于 2004-3-3 23:53:22 |只看该作者

首先谢谢两位的点评，你们所说的问题我会注意的，真的很感谢了！
be conducive to，我觉得是个短语啊！

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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apolloxp
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6楼

发表于 2004-3-4 00:08:47 |只看该作者

....can be conducive people to....这是由语病的呀

Life is full of drama.

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libby
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7楼

发表于 2004-3-4 00:24:41 |只看该作者

那应该怎么改比较好啊？谢谢！

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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libby
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8楼

发表于 2004-3-4 00:26:50 |只看该作者

那怎么改啊？谢谢！

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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mjk
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9楼

发表于 2004-3-4 00:41:51 |只看该作者

向libby学习，虽然例子可以充数，但是是用的确确实实的论证

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caspereye
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10楼

发表于 2004-3-4 09:52:46 |只看该作者

首先也要向libby同学学习,呵呵,这篇我也觉得难写
不过还是要砸几块板砖,见谅
1.有些用词太简单,比如说 the influence for people is also deep and extensive. 这个地方deep何不改成profound那?
2.句式有点单一,很多地方libby同学都是......., but....... 在写作时候可以注意点,刻意换一下句式使用那
3.写issue也需要注意逻辑关系,有的论证段落好像一直在反复念叨同一句话,我想应该好好组织一下,理清关系,然后加入必要表示逻辑的连词,会让论证更有利.

谢谢

If we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous enough to rejoice in another's happiness and wise enough to know there is enough love around for us all, then we can achieve a fulfilment that no other creative will ever know

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libby
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11楼

发表于 2004-3-4 11:04:13 |只看该作者

caspereye同学首先我要感谢你给我提这么多宝贵的意见，因为我要考了，所以没有时间去句式和词汇的用法了，在有限的时间内，我真的没有过多思考的余地了！我打字又慢 5555555。。。我就想把逻辑结构写好表达出的意思别人能看懂了！谢谢你！我空时再把它改一下！谢谢！

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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fishergirl
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12楼

发表于 2004-3-4 11:07:03 |只看该作者

63. To truly understand your own culture-no matter how you define it-requires personal knowledge of at least one other culture, one that is distinctly different from your on.

14:50
Nowadays, with the development of globalization and human being mobility, different people who come from different cultural background learn and work together, and accordingly the communication of culture also has been increased. It is very vital for people to understand their own culture, which can contribute them to understand other culture, facilitate the connection and interaction of people, and reduce the misunderstanding among people. How can we apprehend our own culture thoroughly? It is an effective and efficient way for people to understand their culture, which is to learn another culture, and then compare it with their own. Thus, people can understand their own culture completely.

Anyone who lives in his or her own region, they will form their particular culture. 前后的单复数不一致 You cannot understand your culture from an objective angle since your friends have the same view of culture as you. One cannot hold an objective attitude towards a problem since he/she can just think of it from his/her own angle, which has been affected deeply by the culture background, and so, his/her friends have the same view as he/she. As we all known that individuals who live in the same circumstance have more similar characters, hobbies, and even values. The chief reason of the case is their cultural background is alike. The foundation of culture is not a short time but a long period, which often need undergo several thousands of years; so the influence for people is also deep and extensive. If a person only knows his or her own culture, he or she will never know why people would like to hold such view, or why people like doing so; because he or she do never think there may be another thought, as well he or she only do the similar thing what others do. 这样说不好，人们并不是认为不会有其他的思想，而是盲目的认为自己是对的

However, studying another culture can be conducive + for people to find 用understand和后面的例子更吻合 the distinctions among different cultures, and discover the advantages and disadvantages of his or her own culture. Take oriental culture as an example; before researchers study the west culture, it is difficult for them to understand why oriental children have less creative ideas than the west children, but after they study the west culture, they find the critical reason is the view of absolute following obedience,你的说法好像过于绝对了, which has rooted in the mind of oriental persons for many years. Absolute following make children be afraid to propose their own ideas, and show their true feeling. With the past of time, children will also have little innovative ideas. On the contrary, in the west, parents give enough right for children to express their ideas, their feeling, and their dissatisfactions. When children grow up, they have more innovative ideas and independence. Just as for the difference of culture, different people have different characters; thus when we learn other cultures we can understand why our culture is like this but not that.

In addition, through the study and comparison of different cultures, people can learn from other cultures and make up 呵呵，这里是弥补的意思吗？ the intrinsic deficiencies of their own culture 这个culture可以不要吧？. Similarly, as absolute following is one of the deficiencies of our culture, we should change it. How can we improve it? It is a an appreciative means for us to learn from the west culture because their advantage is just our disadvantage. We can learn how to perfect our culture through comparing the oriental culture with the west. Thus, in the process of comparison, people can understand their own culture deeply. Hence, the comparison of cultures benefits people to learn from each other/ one another.

In conclusion, it is an effective and efficient way to understand one's own culture that people should learn at least another culture and compare it with their own.

JJ的思路很清晰啊！我改动了一些，请JJ酌情采纳，并提出你的看法。（其实，我们俩谁是JJ还说不定呢！）

除了上面改动的，我还觉得你的例子少了一点，只有一个并且花了太多的笔墨在这上面。给我感觉好像有点喧宾夺主，减轻了论证给人带来的冲击力度。

一步步向目标前进中！

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