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2. 关于TS电子评分器
由于自己的作文基本没有找别人改,自己心里面没底,所以在考前1星期的时候花了13美元在ETS的官方网站上做了一次模考。
https://www.dxrgroup.com/cgi-bin/DxR_GRE/index.pl
感觉这个钱花的很值,因为模考不仅给了我信心,同时给我提供了很多有意义的信息。在这里我把自己的模考作文和ETS电子评分器的反馈发出来跟大家共享。
2.1 issue模考原文
Topic:
Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.
"It is important for higher education to challenge established traditions and values."
Your Answer (Score: 5)
We are all granted supreme talent and the ultimate goal of self-improvement is to reach our full potential and make best use of our talent. To achieve this, we have paid much attention to education, especially to higher education.
This a controversial issue. In our education experience we emphasize our intellectual achievements. That is, we spare no effort to absorb and digest as much concrete knowledge as possible. A pursuit in intellect is nothing wrong. But educators should not simply pour truths and untruths into the minds of students. Students should also be taught how to develop interpersonal skills, how to collaborate with others, how to build self-confidence, how to stand up and draw lessons from failures, and the most important, how to think critically and independently.
In modern times we find this world filled with conflicts almost in all aspects. A person who fails to think independently and critically can hardly get on well in the society. There are established traditions and values. Most people just accept and adhere to them passively. Few have courage and confidence to challenge them. Human beings have created unprecedented material civilization but fall ragged in spirit. If we just follow exactly the same traditions as our forefathers did, dare we say that we have made much progress? I am afraid not.
Admittedly, modern trditions and values are established through the long history of human beings. They have their merits since they have laid the moral and ethic foundations of the society. But a close and thorough examination reveals that in all times of human history, there were conflicts between established traditions and new ideas. Just think of abortion. One century ago it was generally considered as ignoble and immoral. But in modern society an increasing number of people do not think so, although it is still controversial. Actually conflicts between establish values and new ideas come into being as a result of the improvement in material civilization and the lagged intellectual civilization. To settle these conflicts, the best way is to resort to education.
The true value of higher education lies in that it equip people professional skills and indispensable courage and confidence to challege traditions and values. Thus people can make their own choice. Take my personal experience as an example. When I was a university student, I was specialized in biology. In the class of genetics my teacher always talked about genetic technology. The most impressive thing was that once he raised such a question (and I paraphrase) :" Do you think the development and application of genetic technology conflict with human morality?" We had discussed about this for a whole class, and finally almost all of us agreed that although it was difficult to predict the consequences of genetic technology, it seemed that the benefits outweighed the costs. And so long as we could make rational use of this magic power, we could benefit much from it and avoid trouble. But restrictions on some areas, such as human cloning, should be established. Our idea conflicted with the established value that it is wrong to develop and make use of genetic technology, but we all believed that we were right.
This experience has convinced me that students as colleges or univesities should be encouraged to challenge established traditions and values. Although individual activities cannot lead to much change in the tradition, the joint efforts and combined result is conspicuous.
2.2 argument模考原文
Topic:
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour. Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent. But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period. Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.
Your Answer (Score: 5)
I find this argument problematic. The author has committed several serious fallacies in reasoning and his/her recommendation is unwarranted.
To begin with, the author fails to make a distinction between accidents in the region and those on the highways. He/She just mentions that the number of automobile accidents in the region of Forestville has increased 15 percent but does not tell us whether the number of accidents on the highways increased. Thus it is entirely possible that there were the same number of accidents on the highways but accidents happened in other regions of Forestville rocketed dramatically. Consequently the author should not conclude that the increased number of accidents is a result of the change in speed limit.
Even if we accept that the number of accidents on the highways of Forestville did increase, the author still fails to convince us that the increase could be exclusively attributed to the change in speed limit. There are many other factors that can result in more accidents. For example, it is possible that after the change took effect, the highways in Forestville have been much more heavily used than ever before and it is therefore not strange that the number of accidents increased. It is also possible that the increase of accidents is due to some changes in climate. Without ruling out these possibilities the author could not draw a sound conclusion.
In addition, the analogy drawn between Forestville and Elmsford cannot give strong support to the author's conclusion that it is the different speed limits on highways that give birth to different accident numbers. There is no information concerning the similarities and differences between these two regions. It is not impossible that these two region vary dramatically in climate and terrain. It is common sense that climate and terrain are closely related with accidents. Thus the analogy drawn between Forestville and Elmsford is unconvincing.
Last but not least, six months may not be long enough to guarantee the reliability of the statistics cited by the author. Maybe drivers need a longer period of time to get accustomed to the change in speed limit on highways. Maybe most car accidents occurred in winter and the six months used for statistics happened to include winter. Thus the statistics cited by the author are not so cogent. Perhaps the author could find the accident number on the highways of Forestville remains steady or even falls throughout a longer period of time.
In conclusion, the author's viewpoint, though seemingly well-supported, is not persuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author should prove that it is the increased speed limit that caused the increased accident number with more concrete and specific evidences.
2.3 关于模考的总结
机器评分器的评分标准主要包扩了五个方面:
1. Grammar:
1.1 Fragments 句子要结构完整
1.2 Run-on sentence 句子要有适当的停顿和连词,或者拆成几个句子
1.3 Proofread this 拼写或者其它错误造成句子歧义
1.4 Subject-verb agreement 主谓一致
2. Usage
2.1 Preposition error 介词错误
2.2 Confused words 引起歧义的词
2.3 Missing or extra article 缺少或者多余的冠词
3. Mechanics
3.1 Spelling 拼写错误
4. Style
4.1 Too many sentences beginning with coord. conj. 以and、but、or开头的句子适当和上一句合并
4.2 Too many short sentences 短句太多
4.3 Repetition of words 同义词替换
5. Organization and development
5.1 Thesis statement 第一段阐明全文主题,暗示全文结构
5.2 Main ideas 每段第一句总起该段,围绕主题
5.3 Supporting ideas 全段围绕主题句展开
5.4 Transitional words and phrases 适当的过渡词
5.5 Conclusion 结尾段要点题深化
5.6 Introductory material 介绍背景与话题(开头)
以上要点是电子评分器给我的反馈内容的分类汇总。可以看出其实电子评分器主要还是关注文章的谋篇布局及语法、拼写的。我估计启用电子评分器后阅卷人和机器应该分别着重于思想和表达两方面。说实话我模考的两篇作文应该没达到5分的水平,但在表达上没有明显的大问题,所以被评分器判了5分。
值得一提的是,两篇文章评分器都统计分析了下列项目:Word Count • Sentence Count • Words per Sentence • Unique Words。其中尤为显眼的是Unique Words一项。这似乎暗示ETS还是有一个高等词汇的pool,而我们写作的时候还是应该适当注意用漂亮的词汇。有Word count一项则表明文章还是需要一定的长度。 |
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