[i习作temp] Issue 99 第二篇issue，用倒计时工具写的 [复制链接]

eustacia
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2004-12-1 22:39:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue99  第2篇
------摘要------
作者：Eustacia    共用时间：34分10秒    483 words
从2004年10月30日14时21分到2004年10月30日14时34分
------题目------
In any realm of life—whether academic, social, business, or political—the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options.
------正文------
  In my opinion, pragmatic is vital to one's success while one cannot go without idealism. That is to say, in any realm of endeavors, such as education, science, society, and so forth, we have to base on real-laws and hard facts when we make a decision, at the same time we have to take an idealistic point of view to set a fundamental goal.
  In education, many schools are cutting art educations in order to add some more practical courses such as computer and biology. Many college students in China major in technology rather than arts for the purpose of securing lucrative jobs. All these above provide the society with a great number of employees in industrial field, which can bring a greater wealth and profit than that of arts. However, because of the exorbitant amounts of attention we put on science and technology, we neglect culture and arts, which teach us sense of beauty and morality. As a result, we humans have made a great progress in applying knowledge to practical life while made little difference in intelligence and morality.
  In science, it is very important for us to follow the rule of nature, or we would destine to failure. Take the Eternal Mobile as an example. A machine of that kind can only exist in fantasy world for it dose not follow the thermodynamic laws of nature. As is turned out, anyone who devoted himself in the research of that kind of machine end up with failure and wasted lots of economic resources. On the other hand, if there is no idealism in scientific endeavor, we would live quite a different life from that of today. That is to say, we would go without mobile phones, lap-top computers, and even electric lights, for digital revolution would never took place since no one in the past dreamed of an ideal life like this one we lived today.
  In society, any governments have to ponder on the quantity of natural or economic resources, merits, drawbacks of their own country in order to put on a successful law or strategy. In China's near history, there was a time when the idealistic leaders try to make China a strongest country in the world just after the Second World War within 5 years, which end up with a grate waste of the country's limited economic resource and aggravated poverty and hunger. Yet, if there are no such idealists as Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi, who dreamed of an ideal society and spent their lifetime to chase that dream, African Americans would still have no vote right, and Indian would still be the colony of Britain.
  In sum, pragmatic and idealist is of grate importance in our daily life. We have to strike a balance between them, in order to ensure a justifiable use of our resource to satisfy our immediate needs while at the same time, protecting our very survival in the future as a species.
写得很烂，委屈大家帮忙看看

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不怕开水烫的猪
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沙发

发表于 2004-12-2 00:05:39 |只看该作者

赞一个先！
这么短时间就能写出近500字，而且很连贯
这简直就是我的梦想
佩服佩服！

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一朵盛开的牛粪
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板凳

发表于 2004-12-2 00:25:20 |只看该作者

In my opinion, pragmatic is vital to one's success while one cannot go without idealism. That is to say, in any realm of endeavors, such as education, science, society, and so forth, we have to base on real-laws and hard facts when we make a decision, at the same time we have to take an idealistic point of view to set a fundamental goal.（两个have to，那么究竟应该怎么办呢，你还是没能很好地把你的观点亮出来，最好转折一下）

In education, many schools are cutting art educations in order to add some more practical courses such as computer and biology. Many college students in China major in technology rather than arts for the purpose of securing lucrative jobs. All these above provide the society with a great number of employees in industrial field, which can bring a greater wealth and profit than that of arts. However, because of the exorbitant amounts of attention we put on science and technology, we neglect culture and arts, which teach （give）us sense of beauty （aesthesic mind）and morality. As a result, we humans have made a great progress in applying knowledge to practical life while made little difference in intelligence（不当吧） and morality.

In science, it is very important for us to follow the rule of nature, or we would destine to failure.（？？） Take the Eternal Mobile as an example. A machine of that kind can only exist in fantasy world for it dose not follow the thermodynamic laws of nature. As （it）is turned out, anyone who devoted himself in the research of that kind of machine end up with（to） failure and wasted lots of economic resources. On the other hand, if there is no idealism in scientific endeavor, we would live quite a different life from that of today. That is to say, we would go without mobile phones, lap-top computers, and even electric lights, for digital revolution would never took place（时态） since no one in the past dreamed of an ideal life like this one we lived today.

In society, any governments （s去掉）have （has）to ponder on the quantity of natural or economic resources, merits, drawbacks of their own country in order to put on a successful law or strategy. In China's near history, there was a time when the idealistic leaders try to make China a strongest country in the world just after the Second World War within 5 years, which end up with a grate waste of the country's limited economic resource and aggravated poverty and hunger. （不懂，为什么呢，理想就导致穷）Yet, if there are no such idealists as Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi, who dreamed of an ideal society and spent their lifetime to chase that dream, African Americans would still have no vote right, and Indian would still be the colony of Britain.

In sum, pragmatic and idealist is of grate importance in our daily life. （这种中式的英语还是少说好哦）We have to strike a balance between them, in order to ensure a justifiable use of our resource to satisfy our immediate needs while at the same time, protecting our very survival in the future as a species.（最后这个总结没有很好地把你上面论证的内容总结进去）

能在那么短的时间写出这么长的文章很厉害哦，而且人名还都记得，佩服。
但是语法上还是有些问题，以后发上来前可以自己先润色一下的啊。
在结构上，还是有些问题，比如开头，结尾，每段开头都不能让人感觉论述的逻辑严密，社会那段理想的例子比较好，前面一个可以换下，很多的啊，现实对于经济的促进什么的。呵呵，永动机的例子不错。但是你这篇文章好象对于最后一句话没有提到哦。虽然有点难说，但是还是要提以下的。
个人观点，其实我在这么短时间还写不出呢。

生命是一种太好的东西，好到你无论选择什么方式度过都象是一种浪费

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