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[未归类] Issue51 教育类，第二篇，不限时，附中文提纲，欢迎大伙拍砖，俺必“回拍”！！！ [复制链接]

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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-1-5 19:40:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。

关键词：Education，truly effective，only，individual needs and interests，

提纲：is，1+1，大环conditioning
1部分同意。对题目提出疑问。什么是教育的effectivity or efficiency的standard呢？在我看来，根据不同的教育阶段采取不同的重点才能使教育更有效。

2在上大学前的教育，更重要的crucial 不是meet学生的兴趣和爱好，而是由国家或学校统一制定课程，这样才能给学生完整系统的知识构架，使教育有效。对于中小学生来说，一方面，需要学习全面的基础知识，才有可能为更深的学习奠定基础；另一方面，他们还没有独立的思维能力，所以很难找到真正的兴趣所在，这些所谓的so-called兴趣只是爱好而已，是表面上的选择。如果全部按照这种兴趣设计课程，not more than短期的好处而不是长期的益处。举例

3在大学以上的教育，对于教育的效率，根据学生的需要和兴趣来制订课程则更重要。在大学这个鼓励创新innovation和individuality的地方，目的在于发掘每个学生的潜力和兴趣，这会成为巨大的创造动力。单一无特色的indistinctive教育方式会frustrate学生的积极性，而正是不同个性学生设计的特色课程能够激发学生新的想法和创造。举例如何激发学生的创造力。

4其实，在任何教育阶段，两者work together。对学生基础素质和对个性特长的advance call for a balance between两者，in which 教育才真正的effective and efficient。

4.5小时
正文：
I agree with the state above insofar as the education designed according to the individual needs and interests of each student can contribute something good to students, while is it the only effective way to improve the education? In my opinion, however, there should be different standards to evaluate the effectivity of education in different cases, that is, education will be more effective only when it responds to different stages of education in a proper way.

For primary education before higher education, it is more crucial not to meet the needs and interests of each individual student, but to help students to firstly construct a integrative and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum and courses of schools. Further, in this stage, the efficiency of education means uniforming the arrangement of teaching and basic courses. The first reason is that individual needs and interests of student can not represent the general requirement of basic knowledge for later study. Imagine, if a high school designs teaching following individual students, who may need a shorter class less than 15 minutes and interest in X-sports rather than the boring physics questions, there must be big chaos leading to a loss of the education effectivity. On the other hand, most of the students have not yet enough clear ideas to find the true needs and interests, which are not equal to the so-called individual favor on the surface. They are always easily influenced by changeful popular styles, so education should not meet them. In short, it is uniforming teaching not meeting individual needs and interests of students that ensures the effectivity of primary education.

However, in collages and universities, education will be really effective when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students, because the aim of higher education lies in developing the personalities of students and encouraging them to innovate in various ways more than simply holding the similar and general knowledge frameworks. Only does the education respect the individualities and emphasize the distinguishing ways to teach, the education would become more efficient and meaningful. Distinctive teaching methods according to different students can inspire them to think in unique way from others. For example, Cooper Union, one of the best architecture institutes in US, made an innovation of teaching 10 years ago, which called for the abolishment of uniform classes and authorized the professors to make special schedules and courses responding to the characteristic of each student after discussion with them. Then, each student constructed the distinctive system of knowledge and created unique ways in architecture through more reasonable education, which led to the increasing amount of awards in internal competitions in recent 10 years. On the other side, specifical education needs enormous investment, which means more devotion to teach, more arrangement for courses, more money to put in and more risks of new experiment.

In fact, in each stage of education, both the specifical education and the general education have their own positive and negative points calling for a balance. In conclusion, what is most essential is to decide a proper way according to different stages of education.

谢谢大伙!!!欢迎“回拍”！！！
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沙发

发表于 2005-1-5 20:29:34 |只看该作者

啊写了4个半小时啊？

I agree with the state （statement）above insofar as the education designed according to the individual needs and interests of each student can contribute something good 表达很奇怪 to students, while（这里怎么可能用while连接） is it the only effective way to improve the education? In my opinion, however,（这里出现however给人一种though but的感觉） there should be different standards to evaluate the effectivity（effectiveness or efficacy?） of education in different cases, that is, education will be more（will be more 还是will be truely） effective only when it responds to different stages of education in a proper way. 能看得出来你从stage上面作conditioning，不过文字上的表达好像差了一大截的样子

For primary education before higher education（难道还有after higher education的primary education）, it is more crucial not to meet the needs and interests of each individual student, but to help students to firstly construct a integrative（integrate） and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum and courses of schools. Further, in this stage, the efficiency of education means （mean？）uniforming the arrangement of teaching and basic courses. The first reason is that individual needs and interests of student can not represent the general requirement of basic knowledge for later study. Imagine, if a high school （high school是secondary education）designs teaching following individual students, who may need a shorter class less than 15 minutes and interest（前后怎么搭配的？变成 need interest in了？） in X-sports rather than the boring physics questions, there must be big chaos leading to a loss of the education effectivity. On the other hand, most of the students have not yet enough clear ideas to find the true needs and interests, which are not equal to the so-called individual favor on the surface. They are always easily influenced by changeful popular styles, so education should not meet them. In short, it is uniforming teaching not meeting individual needs and interests of students that ensures the effectivity of primary education. 论证做的一般吧文字上欠缺的可就大了

However, in collages and universities, education will be really effective when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students, because the aim of higher education lies in developing the personalities of students and encouraging them to innovate in various ways more than simply holding the similar and general knowledge frameworks. Only does the education respect the individualities and emphasize the distinguishing ways to teach, the education would become more efficient and meaningful. Distinctive teaching methods according to different students can inspire them to think in unique way from others. For example, Cooper Union, one of the best architecture institutes in US, made an innovation of teaching 10 years ago, which called for the abolishment of uniform classes and authorized the professors to make special schedules and courses responding to the characteristic of each student after discussion with them. Then, each student constructed the distinctive system of knowledge and created unique ways in architecture through more reasonable education, which led to the increasing amount of awards in internal competitions in recent 10 years. On the other side, specifical education needs enormous investment, which means more devotion to teach, more arrangement for courses, more money to put in and more risks of new experiment.

In fact, in each stage of education, both the specifical education and the general education have their own positive and negative points calling for a balance. In conclusion, what is most essential is to decide a proper way according to different stages of education.

总体上的展开思路能看得出来论证的话没太大纰漏但是也不出彩还要加强。要命的是文字上出现的漏洞太多了。罗嗦的罗索，错的错。

上一篇文章似乎没暴露出文字上这么多问题为什么这次错误百出呢？

Rien de réel ne peut être menacé.
Rien d'irréel n'existe.

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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板凳

发表于 2005-1-5 22:35:41 |只看该作者

汗水哗哗的..............涌

非常非常的感谢imong细致的修改！！！
首先是惭愧，写文章时注意力不集中，发文章前又没自查，漏洞百出，主要是给拍砖的同志们天了太多不必要的“麻烦”，小弟先抱歉了 :(
其次，俺的基本功确实差，还需饿补！再次感谢imong的一针见血！
:o俺没脸再多说了，我马上就改！以后保证不再犯这类低级错误，希望兄弟姐妹们引以为戒 :)

谢谢大伙!!!欢迎“回拍”！！！
近期习作
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地板

发表于 2005-1-6 00:10:36 |只看该作者

;) 俺硬着头皮又来了，请大伙儿审查！我先去习作区学习学习....

第一遍修改如下：

I agree with the statement above insofar as the education designed according to the individual needs and interests of each student can do good to students’ learning, but is it the only effective way to improve the education? Apparently, the speaker ignored that there are various levels of education, of which effectiveness should be evaluated in different cases, that is, education will be truly effective only when it responds to different stages of education in a proper way.

For primary education, it is more crucial not to meet the needs and interests of each individual student, but to help students to firstly construct a integrate and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum and courses of schools. Further, in this stage, to improve the efficiency of education, schools should uniform the arrangement of teaching and basic courses. The first reason is that individual needs and interests of student can not represent the general requirement of basic knowledge for later study. Imagine, if an elementary school designs teaching following individual students, who may need a shorter class less than 15 minutes or be interested in X-sports rather than the boring physics questions, there must be a big chaos leading to a great loss of the education effectiveness. On the other hand, most of the students have not yet enough clear thought to find the true needs and interests, which are not equal to the so-called individual favor on the surface. They are always easily influenced by changeful popular styles, so education should not meet them. In short, it is uniforming teaching not meeting individual needs and interests of students that ensures the effectiveness of primary education.

However, in colleges and universities, education will be really effective when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students, because the aim of higher education lies in developing the personalities of students and encouraging them to innovate in various ways more than teaching them to simply hold similar and general knowledge frameworks. Only when the education respects the individualities and emphasizes the distinguishing ways to teach, would it become more efficient and meaningful. Distinctive teaching methods according to different students can inspire them to think in a unique way differing from others. For example, Cooper Union, one of the best architecture institutes in US, made an innovation of teaching 10 years ago, which called for the abolishment of the uniform curriculum and authorized the professors to make special schedules and design courses responding to the characteristic of each student after discussion with them. Then, each student constructed his/her own distinctive system of knowledge and created unique ways in architecture through this more reasonable education, which led to the increasing amount of awards in internal competitions in recent 10 years. On the other side, this kind of education needs enormous investment, which means more devotion to teaching, more elaborate arrangement for courses, more money to put in and more risks of new experiments.

In fact, in each stage of education, both the specific education and the general education have their own positive and negative points calling for a balance. In conclusion, what is most essential is to decide a proper way according to different stages of education.

谢谢大伙!!!欢迎“回拍”！！！
近期习作
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=245836
argument40

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5楼

发表于 2005-1-6 10:49:03 |只看该作者

我根据你的提纲，自己写的版本。欢迎大家连我的一起拍

Issue51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

Our 21st century economies and societies are increasingly knowledge-based, some would even say knowledge-driven, shifting away from older industrial models. What role does or should education play in this transformation process? What forms should education assume and how to make education most effective? Is education that is designed to meet individual needs or interests of each students, the most effective means? As far as I am concerned, education should take different forms considering different stages. In primary education system, aiming at constructing integrative and comprehensive basic knowledge framework, education should be designed according to general standard instead of individual preferences of students. However, considering the function of high education, which aiming at producing creative individuals, designing education to meet individuals needs or interests may do good to the students, and therefore increase the effectivity of education.

As we all known, the aim of primary education is to construct an integrative and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum. In this stage, the efficiency of education lies in uniforming arrangements of teaching and basic courses instead of meeting individual needs or interests of students. The first reason is that the primary school, middle school and high school students are not old enough to have definite idea about their true interests or needs, which are not equal to the so-called individual favor on the surface, and their long-term plan of their lives. What’s more, their interests and needs cannot present the general requirements of basic knowledge  for further study in most cases. They are usually imaginative and capricious. One grade three boy may tell you he wants to become a physical scientist when he is affected by one person who is a physical scientist. However, after he read some biographies of famous politicians later, he may tell you that he wants to be an outstanding politician. Later, when he is encountered with some tragedy such as fire or flood in which many people are deprived of their lives, he may decided to become a doctor in the future. In such cases, how to design education to meet individual preference? We can say a young boy know little about his true interests and needs, let alone his career plan. In this case, it is impossible, and unnecessary as well, to design education to meet individual needs.

Furthermore, designing education to meet individual needs in such case may not increase but do harm to the effectivity of education in the long run. Why? For in such situation, education designed to meet individuals needs and interests are not systematic and unstable. In order to meet individual needs and interests, it must adjust itself to fit the new situation when the individual interests changed. Consequently, it fails to constructive a systematic, firm and integrative knowledge framework for the student. Then, when the students grow older and when they want to study further, they may fall in such predicament that for lacking well-knit knowledge basis, they may find themselves landed in difficulty to absorb new knowledge; for lacking comprehensive knowledge framework, they know little about the overall situation about the science development and they cannot find a proper topic to do research or they find it is difficult to locate themselves in the current era. The efficiency of education will decrease accordingly. And again, further education cannot be performed easily in such situation. In a word, primary education should be designed according to a general standard to provide students a comprehensive knowledge basis, and therefore establish a firm basis for the further education in the future. Otherwise, the so-called education which is designed to meet individual needs can be expected to be a big chaos leading to a loss of the effectivity of education.

   However, as to high education, things are changed greatly. Individual needs and interests of students should be taken into account as an important part in designing education. Usually, college or university students have gained the basic knowledge in primary education. Now they begin to plan their career. Their current imperative task is to figure out their true interests and try to develop them to meet their career plan and goal. In such situation, education designed to meet the students’ individual needs and interests, and therefore provide the students an enough space and good opportunities to develop their individual interests, will be most effective certainly.  Of course students will favor distinctive teaching ways and courses corresponding to their own preferences. As the old proverb says, “Interest is the best teacher”. What’s more, taking human psychological needs into account, people like to be distinctive and regarded as “anybody”. Therefore, when people are engaged in things they are interested and gain pride from the courses customized for them, their potential talents are tend to be developed fully, and thus the effectivity of education will be improved dramatically.

Nevertheless, one shouldn’t neglect the importance of balancing the special education and general education in different stages. The fact that general education is crucial for gaining high effectivity of education in primary education and special education is vital to produce effective education in high education doesn’t mean that the two education modes are mutually exclusive in different stages. In fact, in the primary stage, paying attention to students’ outstanding performance and providing proper space for him or her to develop such strong suit are important. As we all known, many talents will be buried or ruined seriously if they are not developed timely or don’t deserve enough attention.  In high education, basic education shouldn’t quit the stage absolutely and immediately either. Primary education mainly provides basic knowledge. However, further study in colleges or universities need more higher basic knowledge such as advanced maths, language skill, etc.. So general education shouldn’t be drew out from the college or university courses either.

   In one word, education should be designed to corresponding to its special function. There is not any universal standard of designing education that is applicable to all cases. Only the different aims of different stage education are taken into account, the effective education may be developed.

呵呵，考完了，感觉还可以，一切都还顺利，没有浪费一分钟，时间全部利用上了，感觉时间还是很紧哦。虽有好的思想但是来不及全部表达。不过基本上达到ETS要求了吧，觉得要拿个够用的4分还是有希望的。自己感觉考场上写的时候比前几天的限时作文还顺手些。我平时限时作文总是思维卡壳，今天还好，由于题目对胃口，没有停顿下来思考过，所以字数感觉应该上了400 的了。可是我练习时有次只有394字啊。题目我已经帖到机经那个主题下了，大家参考一下。

有很多经验想和大家分享，待后整理出来再帖上来吧。

由于应付考试，老板的课题有半个月没做了。所以接下来的日子我还是会很忙。但是我会抽时间尽我所能看大家的作文的。

因为我的时间不是很充分，所以我可能会尽可能先看很快要考的朋友的作文，记得好像snowman比我只晚四天，刚才看到还有不怕开水烫的猪好像也很快要考了。等我这个周加完班，再看其他朋友的作文。让我们一起为我们的梦想而努力！！！

今天上QQ第一条消息是来自GTER上网友zhangsx的，很感动，竟然有人记得并祝福我。真的很感动。

在这里，我也衷心祝这里的所有GTER都在考场上充分发挥出水平，圆自己的梦想！！！大家一起努力吧

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6楼

发表于 2005-1-6 10:54:18 |只看该作者

：）

我知道由于没有时限，我写的太常了点。我想炼笔嘛，相当于就积累一下素材。欢迎大家提建义啊。13号就考了，下个周四哦，可是这竟然是我的第一篇。汗！！！大伙帮忙啊。急

blurj既然写了这个主题，想必也有较深的体会。还望和俺交流一下，提提对我写的文章的意见啊：）

我非常希望和大家这样相互改文章。

我现在的做法是看别人写的题目，自己写，然后看别人写的，看看差别。希望写同个题目的同仁能够和我一起关注我们都写了的题目啊。呵呵

大家也说说我在5楼发的文章吧。期待被拍砖啊。还有6天就烤了。可是这是偶第一篇哦。希望指点。至少希望自己处在一个什么水平啊

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7楼

发表于 2005-1-6 20:38:36 |只看该作者

已有高人改过，我也不再锦上添花了，只谈一下个人看完后的整体感受吧：
第一段，的确罗嗦，否定用的太多，感觉不太舒服；
第二段，我觉得比第一段好得多；
结论挺明白，但上面的支持不太够；有点儿不是浑然一体的感觉。
另外，词汇挺丰富，但建议用的时候稍加斟酌；
第二篇，挺不错的，以后会更好的。
如有不当还请多包涵。

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8楼

发表于 2005-1-6 22:35:06 |只看该作者

Issue51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。

关键词：Education，truly effective，only，individual needs and interests，
提纲：is，1+1，大环conditioning
1部分同意。对题目提出疑问。什么是教育的effectivity or efficiency的standard呢？在我看来，根据不同的教育阶段采取不同的重点才能使教育更有效。

2在上大学前的教育，更重要的crucial 不是meet学生的兴趣和爱好，而是由国家或学校统一制定课程，这样才能给学生完整系统的知识构架，使教育有效。对于中小学生来说，一方面，需要学习全面的基础知识，才有可能为更深的学习奠定基础；另一方面，他们还没有独立的思维能力，所以很难找到真正的兴趣所在，这些所谓的so-called兴趣只是爱好而已，是表面上的选择。如果全部按照这种兴趣设计课程，not more than短期的好处而不是长期的益处。举例

3在大学以上的教育，对于教育的效率，根据学生的需要和兴趣来制订课程则更重要。在大学这个鼓励创新innovation和individuality的地方，目的在于发掘每个学生的潜力和兴趣，这会成为巨大的创造动力。单一无特色的indistinctive教育方式会frustrate学生的积极性，而正是不同个性学生设计的特色课程能够激发学生新的想法和创造。举例如何激发学生的创造力。

4其实，在任何教育阶段，两者work together。对学生基础素质和对个性特长的advance call for a balance between两者，in which 教育才真正的effective and efficient。

4.5小时
正文：
I agree with the state above insofar as the education designed according to the individual needs and interests of each student can contribute something good to students, while is it the only effective way to improve the education? （此处表达的不是十分恰当，你句子表达的过长，令人有累赘的感觉。或者你可以这样说：I agree with the state above only when students who study at the university can classify which needs and interests they truly need. But we can not lack the other students who study at elementary school and the middle school）.In my opinion, however, there should be different standards to evaluate the effectivity of education in different cases, that is, education will be more effective only when it responds to different stages of education in a proper way.（此是你的论点，但是如果就拿这个作论点的话，会变得不是十分明确。可以在后面加And I think the real standard of the education will be truly effective when it can improve the skill and add the knowledge of students in any stage of the education.）

For primary education before higher education, it is more crucial not to meet the needs and interests of each individual student, but to help students to firstly construct a integrative and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum and courses of schools. Further, in this stage, the efficiency of education means uniforming the arrangement of teaching and basic courses. The first reason is that individual needs and interests of student can not represent the general requirement of basic knowledge for later study. Imagine, if a high school designs teaching following individual students, who may need a shorter class less than 15 minutes and interest in X-sports rather than the boring physics questions, there must be big chaos leading to a loss of the education effectivity. On the other hand, most of the students have not yet enough clear ideas to find the true needs and interests, which are not equal to the so-called individual favor on the surface. They are always easily influenced by changeful popular styles, so education should not meet them. In short, it is uniforming teaching not meeting individual needs and interests of students that ensures the effectivity of primary education.

However, in collages and universities, education will be really effective when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students, because the aim of higher education lies in developing the personalities of students and encouraging them to innovate in various ways more than simply holding the similar and general knowledge frameworks. Only does the education respect the individualities and emphasize the distinguishing ways to teach, the education would become more efficient and meaningful. Distinctive teaching methods according to different students can inspire them to think in unique way from others. For example, Cooper Union, one of the best architecture institutes in US, made an innovation of teaching 10 years ago, which called for the abolishment of uniform classes and authorized the professors to make special schedules and courses responding to the characteristic of each student after discussion with them. Then, each student constructed the distinctive system of knowledge and created unique ways in architecture through more reasonable education, which led to the increasing amount of awards in internal competitions in recent 10 years. On the other side, specifical education needs enormous investment, which means more devotion to teach, more arrangement for courses, more money to put in and more risks of new experiment.

In fact, in each stage of education, both the specifical education and the general education have their own positive and negative points calling for a balance. In conclusion, what is most essential is to decide a proper way according to different stages of education.

立场：部分同意论题的观点。
论点：Education will be truly effective when it can improve the skill and the knowledge of students in any stage of the education.

第一段显得有些罗嗦，而且论点没有明确提出。
第二、第三段能提出分论点并严密的论述很好。
结尾显得没有力，格式与“specialist and generalist”的开头有点相识。

不过你的思维与语言能力还是挺强的，加油。动笔就是进步。

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发表于 2005-1-6 23:31:31 |只看该作者

to beilongzhuhai，非常感谢！！我才上网就接了你的砖头，呵呵，运气啊。
你的建议很好，我也觉得自己的句子太冗长，我想还是得多研究范文，我觉得范文的句子长短结合又表达到位，也建议大伙多看范文！！！ ;) 再次感谢你的建设性修改，我好好学！

to snowman，非常感谢！！我的表达能力不足，所以总好像没说到点子上，跟大家学习啊！ ;)

to pdyhc ，别急，我这就对你的文章“下手”了啊 ;)

谢谢大伙!!!欢迎“回拍”！！！
近期习作
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=245836
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