[i习作temp] issue51 期待互拍 [复制链接]

chengenhui
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-20 23:08:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue51
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
The author asserts that in order to educate students truly effectively, the school should design their course to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. At first glance, the assertion seems to be reasonable, however after thorough analysis, I don't agree the author's opinion for the following reasons.

In the first place, there are many advantages for school to use the conformity course. The conformity courses are conducive to inculcate the students traditional value systems and the virtue of society. In their childhood, many people can not discriminate the right and wrong, good and evil. If one can't establish the correct conception of value, life, he may be dangerous to the society after he has grown up, while the conformity courses can absolutely assure to cultivate the students with the correct value systems.

In the second place, it is impossible for the school to design the courses according to the individual need and interests of each student. Since there are much more students than teacher every year and different students surly have different hobbies, if the school asked its teachers to teach what the students are interested in, probably, two words will appear in the teachers' mind:"mission impossible". For example, in China, a teacher always teaches at least 30 students in elementarily school. If the students have more than 10 hobbies, there is not enough time and energy for the teacher to prepare the lessons and teach the students. There is another possible that the teacher is not good at what the students interested. Since our era is the age of knowledge explosion, many things changed daily and monthly. Some elder teachers can not accept the new things as quick as their students, let alone to let the teacher to teach his students in the aspect. So in order to keep the efficiency and the quality of education, it is a better way to use the conformity courses.

Some people who agree with the author's opinion may cite the Einstein's saying (and I paraphrase) that “The interests are the best teachers ".Admittedly the interest is the real strength to propel the students to make a research. Many great scientists can make significant contributions to the society and academician, only because they strongly interested in the field which they make a research in, rather than other reasons such as fame and money. However, when the students are youth, they can not know what they truly interested in. When he concerns to the field at the very beginning, he may show a great interested in it, while after he make a deep research in it, perhaps he would find out that the field was quite boring, and the result of his research will be of little use, and gradually, he will lose the interesting of the field. If he decides to change the direction of his research, he has wasted most precious time in the student’s age. If he keeps on the research, I am sure that he will make little progress in the field.

To sum up, due to the reasons discussed above, which correlate with each other to generate a integrate whole, become more convincing than any single reason, I maybe comfortable to say that the mainstream education should take the conformity course for students, while the school can provide the optical courses to meet the individual needs and interests of each students.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-20 at 23:43 ]

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vickyqiu
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-21 00:05:07 |只看该作者

Issue51
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
The author asserts that in order to educate students truly effectively, the school should design their course to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. At first glance, the assertion seems to be reasonable, however after thorough analysis, I don't agree the author's opinion for the following reasons.

In the first place, there are many advantages for school to use the conformity course. The conformity courses are conducive to inculcate the students traditional value systems and the virtue of society. In their childhood, many people can not discriminate [好像不对，用tell from 或 distinguish…from ] the right and wrong, good and evil. If one can't establish the [改为a] correct [价值判断有对错？] conception of value, [用and] life, he may be dangerous to the society after he has [不用完成时吧] grown up, while the conformity courses can absolutely assure to cultivate the students with the correct value systems.

In the second place, it is impossible for the school to design the courses according to the individual need and interests of each student. Since there are much more students than teacher every year and different students surly have different hobbies, if the school asked its teachers to teach what the students are interested in, probably, two words will appear in the teachers' mind [come into one’s mind ] :"mission impossible". For example, in China, a teacher always teaches at least 30 students in elementarily school. If the students have more than 10 hobbies, there is not enough time and energy for the teacher to prepare the lessons and teach the students. There is another possible [It is equally possible ] that the teacher is not good at what the students interested [be interested in] . Since our era is the age of knowledge explosion, many things changed daily and monthly. Some elder teachers can not accept the new things as quick as their students, let alone to let the teacher to teach his students in the aspect. So in order to keep the efficiency and [enhance] the quality of education, it is a better way to use the conformity courses.

Some people who agree with the author's opinion may cite the Einstein's saying (and I paraphrase) that “The interests are the best teachers ".Admittedly the interest is the real strength to propel the students to make a research. Many great scientists can [去掉把] make significant contributions to the society and academician, only because they [are] strongly interested in the field which they make a research in, rather than other reasons such as fame and money. However, when the students are youth, they can not know what they truly interested in. When he concerns to the field at the very beginning, he may show a great interested in it, while after he make a deep research in it, perhaps he would find out that the field was quite boring, and the result of his research will be of little use, and gradually, he will lose the interesting [interest] of the field. If he decides to change the direction of his research, he has wasted most precious time in the student’s age. If he keeps on the research, I am sure that he will make little progress in the field. [这段特别流畅]

To sum up, due to the reasons discussed above, which correlate with each other to generate a integrate whole, become more convincing than any single reason, I maybe [may be空格] comfortable to say that the mainstream education should take the conformity course for students, while the school can provide the optical courses to meet the individual needs and interests of each students.

语言很流畅的说，有闪光单词哦，be interested in 用法要记牢，呵呵
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czzb
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-21 16:23:06 |只看该作者

觉得楼主bod2 3 都是很漂亮的说
但是第一段没有扣住effective这个关键词写的有些偏了单单强调conformity的好处不能说明题目的
我觉得body2 3 作为支持够了，可以再把bod1的东西揉进去可以再加一些让步承认某些情况下individual的好处比如说在univercity里面这样也能和结尾呼应

否则结尾出现新的观点是大忌

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abigred
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地板

发表于 2005-7-21 22:56:02 |只看该作者

Issue51
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
The author asserts that in order to educate students truly effectively, the school should design their course to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. At first glance, the assertion seems to be reasonable, however after thorough analysis, I don't agree the author's opinion for the following reasons. 这写得像argument哦

In the first place, there are many advantages for school to use the conformity 这是名词啊 course. The conformity courses are conducive to inculcate the students traditional value systems and the virtue of society. In their childhood, many people can not discriminate tell... from the right and wrong, good and evil. If one can't establish the correct conception of value, life, he may be dangerous to the society after he has grown up, while the conformity courses can absolutely绝对！ assure to cultivate the students with the correct value systems.

In the second place, 来个转折词较好 it is impossible for the school to design the courses according to the individual need and interests of each student. Since there are much more students than teacher every year and different students surly have different hobbies, if the school asked its teachers to teach what the students are interested in, probably, two words will appear in the teachers' mind:"mission impossible".这句话挺好玩 For example, in China, a teacher always teaches at least 30 students in elementarily school. If the students have more than 10 hobbies, there is not enough time and energy for the teacher to prepare the lessons and teach the students. There is another possible that the teacher is not good at what the students interested 病句. Since our era is the age重复了吧 of knowledge explosion, many things changed daily and monthly. Some elder teachers can not accept the new things as quick as their students, let alone to let the teacher to teach his students in the aspect. So in order to keep the efficiency and the quality of education, it is a better way to use the conformity courses.

Some people who agree with the author's opinion may cite the Einstein's saying (and I paraphrase) that “The interests are the best teachers ".Admittedly the interest is the real strength to propel the students to make a research. Many great scientists can make significant contributions to the society and academician, only because they strongly interested in the field which they make a research in, rather than other reasons such as fame and money. However, when the students are youth, they can not know what they truly interest删去ed in. When he concerns to the field at the very beginning, he may show a great interested in it, while after he make a deep research in it, perhaps he would find out that the field was quite boring, and the result of his research will be of little use, and gradually, he will lose the interesting of the field. If he decides to change the direction of his research, he has wasted most precious time in the student’s age. If he keeps on the research, I am sure 不要主观 that he will make little progress in the field.

To sum up, due to the reasons discussed above, which correlate with each other to generate a integrate whole, become more convincing than any single reason, I maybe 好像已经是两次看到这个错误了 may be 在句子中间使用时是分开的，在句首用时是连在一起的maybecomfortable to say that the mainstream education should take the conformity course for students, while the school can provide the optical courses to meet the individual needs and interests of each students.

注意论述的时候不能太主观，sure, absolutely 是忌讳词

要做个透明的玻璃娃娃，哪怕被人伤害，也要晶莹透彻

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