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issue52 交作业喽！！要拍拍哦！569字，基本原汁原味！ [复制链接]

翦瞳
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-25 21:18:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

原始字数：569，参考鬼谷子的提纲（窃喜：终于有一道题目思路和大家差不多了;P）
限时，但是检查不完，贴在 word 里有很多拼写错误和词性的错误，:$
提纲：
1 个人角度
2 社会角度（建设东西）
3 国家角度
4 教育的其他作用，和critic and question 的滥用
原汁原味，非指英语味也，乃是偶的思路第一次不用修改也说得通！
------题目------
Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony.

I tend to agree that education encourage students to question and criticize, and also help to promote social harmony to some extent.

Considering that society consist of numerous individuals, we can infer if each individual manages to improve himself, the entire society will be promoted at the same time. Education inspires students to question, which is a beneficial and necessary method to make them better in moral, academic and social aspects. By questioning himself, he could find some intrinsic shortcomings and carry out self-improvement; when criticized by others, he could discover flaws that he never notices and get the chance to better himself; by evaluating others, he could understand how to get along with others and be generous about others' faults. In the end, the personality of the individual can improved; the studying level can be improved; the relationship with others can be promoted too. As a result, our society has less and less ignorant person, and the society is more harmonious.

When we come to the broader aspect such as a project involving many groups of people, it is more necessary to question and criticize before we affirm to construct a program. For example, the grand dam in Yangtze River in South China, which involved millions of people who need transfer to other places, was discussed by experts from various faculties more than twenty years. Through considerate and prudent discussion, the nation decided to construct the huge dam in the end after weighting shortcomings against benefits. Experts questioned each other to get a best plan; the companies in charge of a certain steps of the project were selected by careful scrutiny. What had done was aiming at the best goal----minimize the harm possibilities and maximize the beneficial possibilities. And we achieved the destination. The electric power produced by the dam has been utilized by peoples around it and in the future more people will benefit from this project. The construction involved environmental, historical, economic and other faculties reflected the society harmony after careful questioning.

As to national and international side, the relation is more complex. To solve it suitably and timely, we also need criticizing. United Nation is famous for its long and complicate meetings. On the meeting are representatives from almost all countries and districts in the earth. They question and criticize each other every day to determine the important incidents between nations more prudently. They may query others suggestion but the purpose is always good. If education intends to encourage students to question, there is no harm caused by this behavior in this circumstance.

Furthermore, education can not teach students to criticize only, but there are other things valuable to social harmony. We are educated to be generous and compatible with others. Coordination is a necessary lesson we must experience. All abilities we gained at school can take effect on social harmony so that it is too groundless to conclude education does little to promote social harmony. However, we can not rule out some people misuse the criticizing and questioning method. They use it as a tool to scandal others without noticing others' merits and virtues. Nevertheless, the number of these people is too few to undermine the whole value of education.

In sum, even if there are a few people who mistake questioning and criticizing for striking others, a overall perspective can give us a positive answer. Education is helpful to promote social harmony.

爱
诗歌比赛
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-932648-1-1.html
情感精华文章
https://bbs.gter.net/forum-2-1.html
原汁原味的原创
https://bbs.gter.net/forum-485-1.html
情感的入口
https://bbs.gter.net/forum-1-1.html

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chenda8201
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-26 09:25:15 |只看该作者

先占坐～

保存起来先，待会看^_^

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING

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chenda8201
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-26 13:56:20 |只看该作者

写得不错啊^_^

------题目------
Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony.

I tend to agree that education encourage students to question and criticize, and also help to promote social harmony to some extent.
[to some extent是“多少有一点，某种程度上”；这与你全文论述的基调不是太兼容啊；建议去掉吧～]

Considering that society consist of numerous individuals, we can infer if each individual manages to improve himself, the entire society will be promoted at the same time. Education inspires students to question, which is a beneficial and necessary method to make them better in moral, academic and social aspects. By questioning himself, he could find some intrinsic shortcomings and carry out self-improvement; when criticized by others, he could discover flaws that he never notices and get the chance to better himself; by evaluating others, he could understand how to get along with others and be generous about others' faults. In the end, the personality of the individual can improved; the studying level can be improved; the relationship with others can be promoted too. As a result, our society has less and less ignorant person, and the society is more harmonious.
[这一段的论证很不错～^_^]

When we come to the broader aspect such as a project involving many groups of people, it is more necessary to question and criticize before we affirm to construct a program. For example, the grand dam in Yangtze River in South China, which involved millions of people who need transfer to other places, was discussed by experts from various faculties more than twenty years. Through considerate and prudent discussion, the nation decided to construct the huge dam in the end after weighting shortcomings against benefits. [weight shortcomings against benefits 的意思是benefits 要比 shortcoming 的要大吗？看起来好像意思说法了，是否benefits和shortcoming要调换位置啊？] Experts questioned each other to get a best plan; the companies in charge of a certain steps of the project were selected by careful scrutiny. What had done was aiming at the best goal---- [破折号-- 不用四个横线吧～] minimize the harm possibilities and maximize the beneficial possibilities. And we achieved the destination. The electric power produced by the dam has been utilized by peoples around it and in the future more people will benefit from this project. The construction involved environmental, historical, economic and other faculties reflected the society harmony after careful questioning.
[例子结合论证写得不错～；不过，这一段忘了提一下students，这里论证讲raising question or criticize好，可是题目的一个限定讨论的是students in education systems；故我认为还是在最后要回归来说到students 是否能被encourage to question or criticize咯～；看了下面这一段发现就有做到这点～]

As to national and international side, the relation is more complex. To solve it suitably and timely, we also need criticizing. United Nation is famous for its long and complicate meetings. On the meeting are representatives from almost all countries and districts in [on] the earth. They question and criticize each other every day to determine the important incidents between nations more prudently. They may query others suggestion but the purpose is always good. If education intends to encourage students to question, there is no harm caused by this behavior in this circumstance. [例子和论证不错～；这最后一句回归到students身上来，可是有些唐突啊，没有衔接好～]

Furthermore, education can not [simple] teach students to criticize only, but there are other things valuable to social harmony. [看过有个not simple, but的用法，似乎用在这里不错～；否则用not…but好像有问题～] We are educated to be generous and compatible with others. Coordination is a necessary lesson we must experience. All abilities we gained at school can take effect on social harmony so that it is too groundless to conclude education does little to promote social harmony. However, we can not rule out some people misuse the criticizing and questioning method. They use it as a tool to scandal [scandal是名词，改用个smear吧～] others without noticing others' merits and virtues. Nevertheless, the number of these people is too few to undermine the whole value of education [value of education? 应该想说的是value of questioning and critical thinking之类的吧].

In sum, even if there are a few people who mistake questioning and criticizing for striking others, a [an] overall perspective can give us a positive answer. Education is helpful to promote social harmony. [最后一句这样说就偏了。。。题目中therefore的reason是说education encourages students to question and criticize，而不是笼统一个education啊～；突出的是要我们讨论to question and criticize是否对social harmony有promote吗，而不是education能帮助society become harmonious～；所以最后那句话写出来偏离了题目的讨论范围，对全文的结论影响很大啊～]

[总的来说，能在45mins内写出这么多，思路也清晰，结构也好，语言也不错～最后个别问题在上面提出拉；是否提得对，作者自己斟酌吧～
另：我也写了这篇，限定时间为40mins，计时开始才构思，写得惨不忍睹，例子当时也想不出贴切的来，450字还不到。。:L。；看了你这篇觉得有好多值得学习借鉴的啊^_^]

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翦瞳
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地板

发表于 2005-7-26 16:28:55 |只看该作者

Originally posted by chenda8201
故我认为还是在最后要回归来说到students 是否能被encourage to question or criticize咯～；看了下面这一段发现就有做到这点～
突出的是要我们讨论to question and criticize是否对social harmony有promote吗，而不是education能帮助society become harmonious～；所以最后那句话写出来偏离了题目的讨论范围，对全文的结论影响很大啊～

B2的确没有提到student，想补救，就加了一点点，加错地方了，没有时间了。

结尾也是同样原因，很仓促！没有改好！

因为看了鬼谷子的提纲，思路整理过了，才写得出来，考场够呛啊！

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5楼

发表于 2005-7-27 00:12:19 |只看该作者

I tend to agree that education encourage students to question and criticize, and also help to promote social harmony to some extent.

Considering that society consist of numerous individuals, we can infer if each individual manages to improve himself, the entire society will be promoted at the same time. Education inspires students to question, which is a beneficial and necessary method to make them better in moral, academic and social aspects. By questioning himself, he could find some intrinsic shortcomings and carry out self-improvement; when criticized by others, he could discover flaws that he never notices and get the chance to better himself[上两句是不是有点重复？]; by evaluating others, he could understand how to get along with others and be generous about others' faults. In the end, the personality of the individual can improved; the studying level can be improved[上文没有提到学习水平的提高阿]; the relationship with others can be promoted too. As a result, our society has less and less ignorant person, and the society is more harmonious.

When we come to the broader aspect such as a project involving many groups of people, it is more necessary to question and criticize before we affirm to construct a program. For example, the grand dam in Yangtze River in South China, which involved millions of people who need transfer to other places, was discussed by experts from various faculties more than twenty years. Through considerate and prudent discussion, the nation decided to construct the huge dam in the end after weighting shortcomings against benefits. Experts questioned each other to get a best plan; the companies in charge of a certain steps of the project were selected by careful scrutiny. What had done was aiming at the best goal----minimize the harm possibilities and maximize the beneficial possibilities. And we achieved the destination. The electric power produced by the dam has been utilized by peoples around it and in the future more people will benefit from this project. The construction involved environmental, historical, economic and other faculties reflected the society harmony after careful questioning.

As to national and international side, the relation is more complex. To solve it suitably and timely, we also need criticizing. United Nation is famous for its long and complicate meetings. On the meeting are representatives from almost all countries and districts in the earth[world,earth不和in搭配]. They question and criticize each other every day to determine the important incidents between nations more prudently. They may query others['] suggestion but the purpose is always good. If education intends to encourage students to question, there is no harm caused by this behavior in this circumstance.

Furthermore, education can not teach students to criticize only, but there are other things valuable to [for?]social harmony. We are educated to be generous and compatible with others. Coordination is a necessary lesson we must experience. All abilities we gained at school can take effect on social harmony so that it is too groundless to conclude education does little to promote social harmony. However, we can not rule out some people misuse the criticizing and questioning method. They use it as a tool to scandal [可以作动词吗？]others without noticing others' merits and virtues. Nevertheless, the number of these people is too few to undermine the whole value of education.

In sum, even if there are a few people who mistake questioning and criticizing for striking others, a overall perspective can give us a positive answer. Education is helpful to promote social harmony.
[你的全篇几乎都是在说question,criticize对social harmony的影响，而不是education,b2b3更看不出和education有什莫联系，个人意见，有空看看我的同主题https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1]

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chris_zh
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6楼

发表于 2005-7-27 00:16:18 |只看该作者

我和大家的意见正好相反啊，从题干的语法上来分析，要讨论的正是education 对social harmony的作用……

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翦瞳
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7楼

发表于 2005-7-27 00:29:08 |只看该作者

if education can benefit social harmony through encouraging students to question and criticize, but more than that, we can conclude education have positive effect on the social harmony.
The above is my viewpoint.