[a习作temp] Argument174 谢谢拍~~ [复制链接]

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电梯直达

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发表于 2006-1-4 10:36:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目
Argument174 The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.

'We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumna who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college financially.

翻译：我们建议Grove学院保留其已有百年历史的女校传统，而不是允许录取男性。确实有大部分员工投票赞成男女同校，认为这会使更多的学生申请Grove。但由学生会所组织的一次调查中，有80％的被访学生要求学校维持女校形式，并且在回应了一次单独调查的校友中超过一半的人也反对男女同校。因此，维持女校形式将促进学生的精神状态并且让校友继续对学院进行财政资助。

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提纲
（1）两项调查都缺少足够的信息。
（2）维持女校形式与促进学生的精神状态没有直接联系。相反，大多数员工的意见需要重视，因为他们最直接参与教学工作，可能更知道什么样的方式对教学有利。
（3）校友的财政资助也与女校形式没直接关系，可能他们的资助是因为对学校的感激。即使真的资助变少了，但因为招收了更多的学生，学费收入增加了，可能总的收入还会大大增加的。

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字数：453 words
时间：提纲（15分钟）+正文（1小时） = 1小时15分钟
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正文
In this argument, the arguers suggest to preserve the college's century-old tradition that only admit girl students into its programs and refuse boy students in order to improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially. They support their suggestion by two surveys: one is conducted among the students, which reveals that 80% of the respondents insist all-female education; another is conducted among the alumnae, which shows that half of the answerers also oppose coeducation. The arguers' suggestion seems reasonable, but after careful examination, we can find out several flaws as follows.

First of all, the two surveys what the arguers depend on have the similar disadvantage that they all lack of enough information to prove their persuasion. For example, who and when conduct the surveys? How are the surveys made? What is the number of surveyed students or alumnae? What is the number of respondents? Can the respondents represent the most students' or alumnae' opinions? It is very possible that although 80% of the respondent students support all-female education, only 20% of the total students take the survey. It is also possible that the second survey is conducted only among a few alumnae. So until the above questions are answered, we cannot believe it is suitable to use the results of the surveys.

Secondly, there is no evidence to show that keeping all-female tradition has directly relation with improving students’ morale. On the contrary, the opinion of most faculty members should be considered seriously because they are the most direct people that involved in the students education, so they are most likely to know which kind of mode is advantaged to students' improvement. It is possible that after performing coeducation, the girl and boy students can help and encourage each other during the study, which is more helpful to train their characters and abilities.

Finally, the arguers do not give out evidence to prove that the alumnae' financial support is just because the college is an all-female school. In fact, their assistances maybe root from their appreciation to the college, thus even if the college admits boy students, they will not change their financial support decision. What is more, granted that the support from alumnae is really decreased, the tuition fee will increase the college income because the college admits more students, consequently, the total income may be improved greatly.

To sum up, the arguers is too cursory to make the suggestion because they depend on two baseless surveys and they consider mistakenly that there are direct relations between all-female education mode and the students' morale or the alumnae' financial aids. So to make their suggestion more convincing, they have to take the facets discussed above into account.

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gaojiehaha
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沙发

发表于 2006-1-5 10:08:18 |只看该作者

正文
In this argument, the arguers suggest to preserve the college's century-old tradition that only admit girl students（schoolgirl） into its programs and refuse boy students(schoolboy) in order to improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially. They support their suggestion by two surveys: one is conducted among the students, which reveals that 80% of the respondents insist all-female education; another is conducted among the alumnae, which shows that half of the answerers also oppose coeducation. The arguers' suggestion seems reasonable, but after careful examination, we can find out several flaws as follows.(嗯，开头写的很详细，也很全面)

First of all, the two surveys what the arguers depend on have the similar disadvantage that they all lack of enough information to prove their persuasion. For example, who and when conduct the surveys? How are the surveys made? What is the number of surveyed students or alumnae? What is the number of respondents? Can the respondents represent the most students' or alumnae' opinions? It is very possible that although 80% of the respondent students support all-female education, only 20% of the total students take the survey. It is also possible that the second survey is conducted only among a few alumnae. So until the above questions are answered, we cannot believe it is suitable to use the results of the surveys.（嗯，最后一个句子我最喜欢啦）

Secondly, there is no evidence to show that keeping all-female tradition has directly（这个词用的形象） relation with improving students’ morale. On the contrary, the opinion of most faculty members should be considered seriously because they are the most direct people that involved in the students education, so they are most likely to know which kind of mode is advantaged to students' improvement.（这点想的很好，我怎么没想到） It is possible that after performing coeducation, the girl and boy students can help and encourage each other during the study, which is more helpful to train their characters and abilities.

Finally, the arguers do not give out evidence to prove that the alumnae' financial support is just because the college is an all-female school. In fact, their assistances maybe root from their appreciation to the college, thus even if the college admits boy students, they will not change their financial support decision.（这点也想得不错！） What is more, granted that the support from alumnae is really decreased, the tuition fee will increase the college income because the college admits more students, consequently, the total income may be improved greatly.

To sum up, the arguers is too cursory（学习ing） to make the suggestion because they depend on two baseless surveys and they consider mistakenly that there are direct relations between all-female education mode and the students' morale or the alumnae' financial aids. So to make their suggestion more convincing, they have to take the facets discussed above into account.

写的不错啊！

我都不好意思把我的拿给你看了
argument174
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 gaojiehaha 于 2006-1-5 18:11 编辑 ]

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