[a习作temp] argument210 Sancy （Coffee）新人的第一篇 [复制链接]

Sancy
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楼主

发表于 2006-1-14 22:27:14 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

210The following is a letter to the editor of a news magazine.

"Clearly, the successful use of robots on missions to explore outer space in the past 20 years demonstrates that robots could be increasingly used to perform factory work more effectively, efficiently, and profitably than human factory workers. The use of robots in factories would offer several advantages. First, robots never get sick, so absenteeism would be reduced. Second, robots do not make mistakes, so factories would increase their output. Finally, the use of robots would also improve the morale of factory workers, since factory work can be so boring that many workers would be glad to shift to more interesting kinds of tasks."

The letter concludes that the robots could be increasingly used in factory to perform work more effectively, efficiently, and profitably. The author reaches the conclusion on the basis of three reasons: 1) Absenteeism would be reduced for the robots never get sick. 2) Robot do not make mistakes so that the factories would increase their output. 3) The usage of robots would improve the morale of workers. However, several logical fallacies seriously undermine the validity of the reasoning, rendering the argument highly suspect.

The major problem with this argument is that the author commits a fallacy of false analogy. It is highly doubtful that the facts drawn from the advantage of employment robot to explore outer space are applicable to the usage of robot in factory. These two fields are too dissimilar for a meaningful comparison. The circumstance of outer space is so harsh and the temperature there is either too cold or too hot that it is impossible for man without tried safeguard to work. Maybe, that is just the point to take advantage of robots in the outer space, but not the reason that robots work more efficiently. Beside, the exploration of the space which is a great action for the human being would never take care of the cost, while the goal of factory is to make profit. Likely, it is too expensive for a factory to employ robots, and it is difficult to make profit or even make both ends meet.

Secondly, the argument falsely depends on the gratuitous assumption that robots never get sick. There is no evidence to support this assumption. It is a common sense that all the machines including robots have the chance to got trouble. Usually, the malfunction of robots is intractable, and it would take a long time for a mechanic to repair them. Moreover, certain robots perform certain jobs, and the feasibility of the case that another robot replaces the ill robot is doubtful. Thus, absenteeism is also inevitably, if robots are in the employ of factories.

Another unwarranted assumption which no evidence is offered to bolster is that robots do not make mistakes. Although robots are well designed and carefully managed, they may still make mistakes, because errors are unlikely to avoid. Additionally, the mistakes the robots make is possibly more serious than that man make, since the robots are not bright enough to detect and correct them in time. Unfortunately, the codes which conduct the robots could be changed easily, so, if the codes are altered, a disaster of the factor will come across.

Besides, the assumption that the use of robots would improve the morale of factory workers is also ungrounded, and the author provides no evidence to substantiate that the workers would be glad. Some of the worker may think that dealing with the work skillfully is the most enjoyable thing, and they will feel upset if they are deprived of chance to work. It is obviously that the more robots are employed, the more anxious the worker will be, as they are at risk of unemployment..

In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to demonstrate that robots can really perform factory work more effectively, efficiently and profitably than workers. Without examples and evidence, the argument should be rejected.
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abobibby
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沙发

发表于 2006-1-15 18:37:28 |只看该作者

组长让我们互改，我就不客气了，呵呵。

The letter concludes that the robots （是不是不该用the?)could be increasingly used in factory to perform work more effectively, efficiently, and profitably. The author reaches the conclusion on the basis of three reasons(用assumption是不是更好）: 1) Absenteeism would be reduced for（用because是不是更好） the robots never get sick. 2) Robot do not （语法错误）make mistakes so that the factories would increase their output.（感觉表达得过于直接了，机器人不犯错误和增加产量中间还有论述的环节吧？） 3) The usageof robots would improve the morale of workers. However, several logical fallacies seriously undermine the validity of the reasoning, rendering the argument highly suspect.

The major problem with this argument is that the author commits a fallacy of false analogy. It is highly doubtful that the facts drawn from the advantage of employment robot （是不是用错了？）to explore outer space are applicable to the usage of robot in factory. （提炼一下表语从句就是fact are applicable to the usage of robot in factory, 不知道facts能不能用applicable做表语，还要请大牛探讨一下）These two fields are too dissimilar for a meaningful comparison. The circumstance of outer space is so harsh and the temperature there is either too cold or too hot that it is impossible for man without tried safeguard to work. Maybe, （逗号用得不对吧？）that is just the point to take advantage of robots in the outer space, but not the reason that （感觉不通顺，改成not because 如何？）robots work more efficiently. Beside,;) the exploration of the space which is a great action for the human being would never take care of the cost, while the goal of factory is to make profit. Likely, it is too expensive for a factory to employ robots, and it is difficult to make profit or even make both ends meet.

Secondly, the argument falsely depends on the gratuitous assumption that robots never get sick. There is no evidence to support this assumption. It is a common sense that all the machines including robots have the chance to got trouble. Usually, the malfunction of robots is intractable, and it would （改成may好不？）take a long time for a mechanic to repair them. Moreover, certain robots perform certain jobs, and the feasibility of the case that another robot replaces the ill robot is doubtful. Thus, absenteeism is also inevitably, if robots are in the employ of factories.

Another unwarranted assumption which no evidence is offered to bolster is that robots do not make mistakes. Although robots are well designed and carefully managed, they may still make mistakes, because errors are unlikely to avoid（eliminated?). Additionally, the mistakes the robots make is possibly more serious than that man make( those made by works?), since the robots are not bright (bright用来形容robts不太好吧，我觉得用简单的capable就行了）enough to detect and correct them in time. Unfortunately, the codes which conduct the robots could be changed easily(加上被谁改更好，robots的code真的很容易修改么？）, so, if the codes are altered, a disaster of the factor will come across.

Besides, the assumption that the use of robots would improve the morale of factory workers is also ungrounded;), and the author provides no evidence to substantiate that the workers would be glad. Some of the worker(s) may think that dealing with the work skillfully is the most enjoyable thing, and they will feel upset if they are deprived of chance to work. It is obviously that the more robots are employed, the more anxious the worker will be, as they are at risk of unemployment..

In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to demonstrate that robots can really perform factory work more effectively, efficiently and profitably than workers. Without examples and evidence, the argument should be rejected.argument be rejected, 还是 suggestions be rejected?

感觉楼主的提纲列的比较好，对逻辑错误找的也很清楚，550余的字数也让我崇拜不已。楼主对中心句和模版用得很好，这点上我要向楼主学习。但楼主的语法错误略显多了一点，表达上也不是很清晰。我也有类似的毛病，一起努力吧，我想多写就会好了。还建议楼主使用一下word的自动纠错功能，我觉得很实用。

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