[i习作temp] ISSUE185 K战队作业 2.9 by thumit [复制链接]

thumit
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电梯直达

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发表于 2006-2-10 21:36:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

问一下大家我可不可以无视后面那句话？
还有个建议哦，大家能不能每天讨论一下提纲呢？觉得大家一起的话讨论比较能够拓展思路

AGREE

1. 丑闻会使得这个社会有所进步。因为丑闻暴露出来了一些问题。。。例如SARS and Bird flu

2. 从影响范围来说，丑闻往往会获得更大面积的关注，。例如Clinton 的sex scandal

3. 但是有些丑闻可能会使得人们过分的关注于丑闻，却忘记了其它更重要的事情

4. 对待丑闻，我们更加应该看重的是丑闻发生后的举措，而不是丑闻本身

The speaker asserts that scandals can be useful in many areas for it draw our attention effectively. I agree that in many cases scandals do expose some problems to the whole society or a special crowd. But I also take the viewpoint that in some cases scandals may draw most of us to scandals themselves but forget to seek ways to settle the problems scandals reflects. At the same time, we may neglect other important cases.

In most cases, scandals can be useful in that they contribute to the progress of a society or area. Because that scandals expose problems, to common people, those who could hardly find these problems in other ways than scandals, and the society or community would pay so much attention to these problems that it is quite urgent to get these problems resolved, thus solving these problems will be easier and faster. Also, problems scandals reflect are usually those the public can hardly find or notice, or, they are noticed but not taken seriously. It is scandals that make people realize the problems or the importance of solving the problems. A recent case happened in China in 2003, when this country, especially her capital Beijing, suffered from a serious infection--SARS. In such a crucial situation, some officials of Ministry of Health and the city government even concealed the spreading of SARS from the public. At last, the infection was very serious in this country. After that, knowing the necessity of not withholding such information, the government did a good job in the last year, when Bird flu attacked this country, by publishing a report on Bird flu everyday, and consequently Bird flu was controlled in a small area. Obviously, it is scandals that, whether directly or indirectly, brings this progress.

Also, scandals can be useful for that it can influence a whole society or community, from the perspective of coverage of influence. Usually, scandals happen on famous ones, who are the most focused by the public. Thus a scandal, if happens, often draw much attention, which others such as speakers and reforms can not bear comparison with. Then many people will contributes to resolving the problem, for which the problem is more likely to be resolved. For example, Clinton's sex scandal drew much attention from the whole America, even all the world. From then on, many people began to think about the morality level of US's president. Without the scandal, can so many ones began thinking this problem. For its broad spread, scandals can be useful in its influence.

Yet what we should pay more attention to is that sometimes the public may be too much concerned about scandals. The first point is that they may be curious about scandals themselves but not solving the problems they reflects. Even if they are concerned with the problem, scandals may also serve to distract the public from more important issues. Also Clinton's sex scandal, made the Congress and demos forget or not emphasize enough on other important problems such as Kosovo War, tax problem.

Usually scandals do give us something good to push the development of our society. At the same time, we should take care that sometimes we may be too interest scandals themselves but neglect the problems and more important issues.

大家猛拍吧

[ 本帖最后由 thumit 于 2006-2-10 21:37 编辑 ]

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miraclesue
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沙发

发表于 2006-2-10 21:59:47 |只看该作者

问一下大家我可不可以无视后面那句话？我基本上没有考虑那段话，不然就变成比较型论证了……偶不会写呀:p还有个建议哦，大家能不能每天讨论一下提纲呢？觉得大家一起的话讨论比较能够拓展思路同意哦，可是那么多道题目，该怎么讨论呢？还是说指讨论当天作业，如果在写之前讨论，会不会把大家思路弄得都差不多了？

AGREE

1. 丑闻会使得这个社会有所进步。因为丑闻暴露出来了一些问题。。。例如SARS and Bird flu

2. 从影响范围来说，丑闻往往会获得更大面积的关注，。例如Clinton 的sex scandal

3. 但是有些丑闻可能会使得人们过分的关注于丑闻，却忘记了其它更重要的事情

4. 对待丑闻，我们更加应该看重的是丑闻发生后的举措，而不是丑闻本身
建议把2调到1前面，作为后面论述的前提事实。

The speaker asserts that scandals can be useful in many areas for it draw(s) our attention effectively. I agree (with) that in many cases scandals do expose some problems to the whole society or a special crowd (这里是说“特殊人群”吗？可以用“specific individuals”). But I also take the viewpoint that in some cases scandals may draw most of us to scandals themselves but forget to seek ways to settle the problems scandals reflects. At the same time, we may neglect other important cases. 开头简练明确，好处、坏处均被指出。

In most cases, scandals can be useful in that they contribute to the progress of a society or area. Because that scandals expose problems, to common people, those who could hardly find these problems in other ways than scandals, and the society or community would pay so much attention to these problems that it is quite urgent to get these problems resolved, thus solving these problems will be easier and faster.上句比较长，并且不容易理解，由于是在BODY 1的重要位置上，建议修改。 Because scandals expose problems to common people, who could hardly find the problems in other ways than scandals, the society or community would realize the urgency to solve the problem and work out the solution as soon as possible. Also, problems scandals reflect are usually those the public can hardly find or notice, or, they are noticed but not taken seriously. It is scandals that make people realize the problems or the importance of solving the problems. 这两句意思与前面重复，可删去，避免赘述。A recent case happened in China in 2003, when this country, especially her capital Beijing, suffered from a serious infection--SARS. In such a crucial situation, some officials of Ministry of Health and the city government even concealed the spreading of SARS from the public. At last, the infection was very serious in this country （ and required more efforts to conquer it than it originally needed）. After that, knowing the necessity of not withholding such information, the government did a good job in the last year, when Bird flu attacked this country, by publishing a report on Bird flu everyday, and consequently Bird flu was controlled in a small area. Obviously, it is scandals that, whether directly or indirectly, brings this progress.这一句作为总结，显得有些抽象，可以补充一下中间的过程。directly or indirectly 这两个词过于笼统，可以用以下句型：Thanks to the scandals, the public….the government…., therefore, the disaster….

Also, scandals can be useful for that it can influence a whole society or community, from the perspective of coverage of influence. Usually, scandals happen on famous ones, who are the most focused by the public. Thus a scandal, if happens, often draw much attention, which others such as speakers and reforms can not bear comparison with. Then many people will contributes to resolving the problem, for which the problem is more likely to be resolved (solved?). For example, Clinton's sex scandal drew much attention from the whole America, even all the world. From then on, many people began to think about the morality level of US's president. Without the scandal, can so many ones began thinking this problem. For its broad spread, scandals can be useful in its influence.这一段，是说Scandals的影响范围带来的更大面积的关注。个人觉得这是一个事实，但不具有褒贬性。也就是说大面积的关注可以带来好的影响，也可以带来负面的作用。所以我认为这是Scandals发挥作用的一个前提。可以把它放在上一段之前，这样引起下面的正面及负面论述，比较符合逻辑。
另外，在说明Scandals的影响范围大这个问题上，作者主要从内容上（对名人的关注）来论述，还可以从形式上，比如现代化的大众传媒等角度来说明其影响的覆盖面广。

Yet what we should pay more attention to is that sometimes the public may be too much concerned about scandals. The first point is that they may be curious about scandals themselves but not solving the problems they reflects. 还可以补充一点，最终解决问题的依然是reformer，顺便扣一下题目。Even if they are concerned with the problem, scandals may also serve to distract the public from more important issues. Also（Shown by） Clinton's sex scandal, made（去掉made） the Congress and demos forget or not emphasize enough on other important problems such as Kosovo War, tax problem.

Usually scandals do give us something good to push the development of our society. At the same time, we should take care that sometimes we may be too interest (interested in) scandals themselves but neglect the problems and more important issues.

总的来说，这篇文章结构清楚。在论证过程中，逻辑顺序可以更加优化。在进行分论点论证时，有些地方力量不足，可以更详细、准确。另外，在论述的语言上也可以更精炼一些。

昨晚身体有些不舒服，早早占了楼，却这么晚才交，希望没有耽误你~真不好意思哈

[ 本帖最后由 miraclesue 于 2006-2-11 11:40 编辑 ]

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