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[i习作temp] Issue 36 谁能帮我看下么？必回拍 [复制链接]

kuangduck
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-2-12 23:11:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 36: The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

我同意一个人的伟大往往是被后人发现的。
1.    基于一个时代的局限性，也就是人们当时的理解能力和所处的环境，他们可能没有能力去发现或者证实某些伟大。如70年前，当鬼子发动侵华战争的时候，伟大领袖毛爷爷就发表了《论持久战》，分析各方面的因素，预言日本终将失败。然而，除了他以外，世界上没有几位军事专家预测中国有胜利的可能。当战火烧到太平洋，全世界又公认日本人是尼采超人。。。日本最终失败了，人们这才回想起多年前毛爷爷的那篇著作里闪耀的睿智。
2.    很多情况下，即使人们认识到一件事物的伟大，由于某些利益冲突，他们并不会承认。布鲁诺同志当年坚定地支持自己的观点，强力批判经院哲学和神学。他的思想是伟大的，但是却不为当时所认可。这当然和人们当时的认知能力有莫大的联系，但是，更重要的，他的主张触及到罗马教会的利益，正是这一点才导致了他为真理献身。
3.    事实上，无论是被同代人认可或者后人认可，伟大终究会被公之于众。伟大认可的被推迟发现，受害者是全体人类，因为相对阻碍了人类社会的发展。所以，我们应该努力丰富自己的知识，更加宽容大度，及时发现伟大。

Greatness is an all-pervading presence; and the history is its temple. But when looking back, we would probably find this phenomenon- for a large group of individuals, their greatness was always be decided by those who live after them, instead of their contemporaries. I have wondered why so much greatness was submerged at first and emerged later in the mighty torrent of history.

First and foremost, we, as people in history, always find it difficult to follow those denizens of greatness, due to our limited minds and knowledge, since they, as sagacious and ingenious as we expect, usually go ahead of our times. An example I could have always cited is the book The Protracted War, written by Chairman Mao, who brought an evangel to Chinese people and ended the suffering of hundreds of millions. In 1937, when Japanese thrust total war on China, military experts of every nation did not give China even a ghost of a chance, while at the same time, Chairman Mao published the book The Protracted War, which embodies his philosophy and the prediction- Japan will lose the war at last. When Japan failed to bring China cringing to her knees as she expected, the world took solace in this phenomenon by declaring that they had overestimated Japan’s military might. Nevertheless, when the greedy flames of war inexorably spread into the Pacific, with the perfidious attack on Pearl Harbor, Malaya and so on, the pendulum swung to the other extreme- the world began to think that the Japanese were Nietzschean Supermen, superior intellectually and physically, as the Nazi racists had propounded about the Nordics. In the end, as acknowledged, Japan surrendered at discretion. It was then people all around the world were filled with deep esteem, and eventually realized the greatness of Chairman Mao’s book The Protracted War. Understandably, “all great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time”, said by Gilbert Seldes, a famous film critic, tells us that it takes time for the society to reach a consensus to the acceptance of greatness.

In addition, during the process of reaching a consensus, conflicts would happen, preventing the recognition of greatness. The society is composed of people from all walks of life; consequently they have different interests, which means they consider one single question from different angles, or from their own perspectives. For instance, in a society where democracy is not well established, it could take decades, or even longer time, to see widespread acceptance of some progressive ideas, even though they are right. Giordano Bruno, an Italian Renaissance philosopher and poet, is now highly praised and considered as a forerunner of modern philosophy because of his influence on the later philosophers and his anticipation of the theories of 17th-century monism. However, unfortunately, at that time, the ideas he presented directly contradicted with the interests of the Roman authorities. Charged with blasphemy, immoral conduct, and heresy, Bruno was imprisoned for eight years, and at last burned at the stake in Campo dei Fiori. This is not an isolated instance, for in the long record of history, many giants were afflicted or tortured, whether from individual or government. Some of them, such as Giordano Bruno, were even sentenced to death, waiting to be clarified decades later, as well as their ideas and thoughts.

Actually, the delay of the acceptance of greatness is of tremendous loss to mankind. It is exactly those great individuals, acting as a locomotive, stimulated the process of social development and induced climaxes as well as turning points in history. Thus, to introduce more diversity and dynamism into the development of mankind, we need to equip us with more sufficient knowledge, and act with broadmindedness and tolerance.

[ 本帖最后由 kuangduck 于 2007-2-15 21:36 编辑 ]

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weiweiwawa
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沙发

发表于 2007-2-13 00:41:20 |只看该作者

Greatness is an all-pervading presence; and the history is its temple. But when looking back, we would probably find this phenomenon- for a large group of individuals, their greatness was always [be] decided by those who live after them, instead of their contemporaries. I have wondered why so much greatness was submerged at first and emerged later in the mighty torrent of history.

First and foremost, we, as people in the history, always find it difficult to follow those denizens of greatness, due to our limited minds and knowledge, since/but这里应该是和上面的due to形成对比吧？ they, as sagacious and ingenious as we expect, usually go ahead of our times. An example I could have always cited is the book The Protracted War, written by Chairman Mao, who brought an evangel to Chinese people and ended the suffering of hundreds of millions. In 1937, when Japanese thrust total war on China, military experts of every nation did not give China even a ghost of a chance, while at the same time, Chairman Mao published the book The Protracted War, which embodies his philosophy and the prediction- Japan will lose the war at last. When Japan failed to bring China cringing to her knees as she expected, the world took solace in this phenomenon by declaring that they had overestimated Japan’s military might. Nevertheless, when the greedy flames of war inexorably spread into the Pacific, with the perfidious attack on Pearl Harbor, Malaya and so on, the pendulum swung to the other extreme- the world began to think that the Japanese were Nietzschean Supermen, superior intellectually and physically, as the Nazi racists had propounded about the Nordics. In the end, as acknowledged, Japan surrendered at discretion. It was then people all around the world were filled with deep esteem, and eventually realized the greatness of Chairman Mao’s book The Protracted War. Understandably, “all great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time”, said by Gilbert Seldes, a famous film critic, tells us that it takes time for the society to reach a consensus to the acceptance of greatness.
你里面的用词和句子都很好~~~我觉得你的工地比我好啊，你的例子本身也好，可用在这里就不太合适了
你的段落总结据给出了一个不能承认的原因：这些题天才们具有一般人所不能具有的查阅这个时代的认识和发现，因而。。。。
可着和毛泽东的书有什么之间的联系吗？开始没人认可。。。。珍珠港后承认其预测的价值
个人觉得这很牵强！你想，虽然美国人不人动辄数的价值起初，但中国人自己在开始的时候不就承认了吗？你能把这定义成不被当代人承认马？.
其实，历史上很多例子都可以 Socrates, Gogh...

In addition, during the process of reaching a consensus, conflicts would happen, preventing the recognition of greatness. The society is composed of people from all walks of life; consequently they have different interests, which means they consider one single question from different angles, or from their own perspectives. For instance, in a society where democracy is not well established, it could take decades, or even longer time, to see widespread acceptance of some progressive ideas, even though they are right. Giordano Bruno, an Italian Renaissance philosopher and poet, is now highly praised and considered as a forerunner of modern philosophy because of his influence on the later philosophers and his anticipation of the theories of 17th-century monism. However, unfortunately, at that time, the ideas he presented directly contradicted with the interests of the Roman authorities. Charged with blasphemy, immoral conduct, and heresy, Bruno was imprisoned for eight years, and at last burned at the stake in Campo dei Fiori. 这是大家都很熟悉的例子，我觉得你是不是就不用这么多话星星介绍了，大致说一下，主要的精力应放在展开上！This is not an isolated instance, for in the long record of history, many giants were afflicted or tortured, whether from individual or government. Some of them, such as Giordano Bruno 其他人的名字：Darwin, , were even sentenced to death, waiting to be clarified decades later, as well as their ideas and thoughts.

Actually, the delay of the acceptance of greatness is of tremendous loss to mankind. It is exactly those great individuals, acting as a locomotive, stimulated一般现在时 the process of social development and induced climaxes as well as turning points in history. Thus, to introduce more diversity and dynamism into the development of mankind, we need to equip us with more sufficient knowledge, and act with broadmindedness and tolerance.

我觉得你的语言和句子功底真的很好，很多写法和用法我都没见过。。。。写得很活！学习学习！
但主要问题出再审题上；而且你的逻辑主题句没有提炼好，李子没有充分支持观点。就这个题目:
Issue 36: The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
你有没有注意only，其实这才是这个题目的攻击点
如果你要写成你现在这样，你也应该说
1。大多数时候的确不能被当代人所认同，主要原因是。。。。
2 。但是，也存在被当代人认同的例子。。。。
所以，你的审题有问题，感觉题目只写了半！你觉得那？

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kuangduck
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板凳

发表于 2007-2-13 01:07:35 |只看该作者

谢谢你的建议
第一个段落，我的观点是，不管世人如何摇摆，毛泽东同志一眼看出乾坤，作出定论，彰显伟大。似乎逻辑没有错误，你觉得呢？
布鲁诺那里，我确实说多了。
关于ONLY的理解，我确实大意了。
非常感谢你的建议和评价。

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地板

发表于 2007-2-13 01:22:13 |只看该作者

路过，拜读一下

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5楼

发表于 2007-2-13 10:32:32 |只看该作者

Greatness is an all-pervading presence; and the history is its temple. But when looking back, we would probably find this phenomenon- for a large group of individuals, their greatness was always （be） decided by those who live after them, instead of their contemporaries. I have wondered why so much greatness was submerged at first and emerged later in the mighty torrent of history.

First and foremost, we, as people in history, always find it difficult to follow those denizens of greatness, due to our limited minds and knowledge, since they, as sagacious and ingenious as we expect, usually go ahead of our times. An example I could have always cited is the book The Protracted War, written by Chairman Mao, who brought an evangel to Chinese people and ended the suffering of hundreds of millions. In 1937, when Japanese thrust total war on China, military experts of every nation did not give China even a ghost of a chance, while at the same time, Chairman Mao published the book The Protracted War, which embodies his philosophy and the prediction- Japan will lose the war at last. When Japan failed to bring China cringing to her knees as she expected, the world took solace in this phenomenon by declaring that they had overestimated Japan’s military might. Nevertheless, when the greedy flames of war inexorably spread into the Pacific, with the perfidious attack on Pearl Harbor, Malaya and so on, the pendulum swung to the other extreme- the world began to think that the Japanese were Nietzschean Supermen, superior intellectually and physically, as the Nazi racists had propounded about the Nordics. In the end, as acknowledged, Japan surrendered at discretion. It was then people all around the world were filled with deep esteem, and eventually realized the greatness of Chairman Mao’s book The Protracted War. Understandably, “all great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time”, said by Gilbert Seldes, a famous film critic, tells us that it takes time for the society to reach a consensus to the acceptance of greatness.例证是否可以更简洁些？最主要突出是毛的伟大没有被当世承认，所以个人认为不用写太多历史。

In addition, during the process of reaching a consensus, conflicts would happen, preventing the recognition of greatness. The society is composed of people from all walks of life; consequently they have different interests, which means they consider one single question from different angles, or from their own perspectives. For instance, in a society where democracy is not well established, it could take decades, or even longer time, to see widespread acceptance of some progressive ideas, even though they are right. Giordano Bruno, an Italian Renaissance philosopher and poet, is now highly praised and considered as a forerunner of modern philosophy because of his influence on the later philosophers and his anticipation of the theories of 17th-century monism. However, unfortunately, at that time, the ideas he presented directly contradicted with the interests of the Roman authorities. Charged with blasphemy, immoral conduct, and heresy, Bruno was imprisoned for eight years, and at last burned at the stake in Campo dei Fiori. This is not an isolated instance, for in the long record of history, many giants were afflicted or tortured, whether （from） individual or government. Some of them, （such as Giordano Bruno显得重复了）, were even sentenced to death, waiting to be clarified decades later, as well as their ideas and thoughts.例子很有说服力，但有点罗嗦

Actually, the delay of the acceptance of greatness is of tremendous loss to mankind. It is exactly those great individuals, acting as a locomotive, stimulated the process of social development and induced climaxes as well as turning points in history. Thus, to introduce more diversity and dynamism into the development of mankind, we need to equip us with more sufficient knowledge, and act with broadmindedness and tolerance.

作者文笔流畅、逻辑严谨、论证恰当；但是，个人认为，作者论证中，单一的例子用了过多的描述，显得有些罗嗦。其实，例子是为了让文章更有说服力，因此重点还是放在说理上较好。
这篇issue我没写过，不过同意楼上的观点，only应该是论证中的重点。是否可以把现有的精简，然后进一步论证“是否仅仅后人才能意识到伟大？”

以上属个人愚见，若有不当，欢迎探讨~~
另：感谢楼主对我issue的指教~~祝楼主更进一步，取得好成绩！！！

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