[a习作temp] 修改zeg8512 argument38 [复制链接]

欢欢57
UID：2316370

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 72
注册时间: 2007-3-19
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-4-14 15:47:12 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

蓝色字——较好的语言与用法

红色字——确认为错误用法

下划线——用法没有错误（或不确定），但感觉不大好的。通常这部分标出的语言应该可以进一步改进

Is it more important for every individual to show defiance to unjust laws than to obey just laws, as asserted by the speaker? I, after pondering on the issue, tend to go along with the speaker only on the condition that individuals are able to reach a consensus on which laws are unjust.Basic to any understanding of my position is the fact that I concede that it is obligatory for individuals to pay homage to just laws and conform to them consistently, which is the basis for social order and stability. If all individuals show no or little respect to any kind of law, the chance is that the society may be plagued by social turmoil and turbulence; then it is just hardly conceivable that people in a such society are able to live in peace and contentment. An apt illustration toward this point involves the Republic of Sudan. In the western region of the country where clans are in armed conflict with each other and national laws are looked down upon, some one million people have been displaced as refugees; and tens of thousands of civilians have been slaughtered. The condition in such region is regarded as the most severe humanity disaster in contemporary society. Also, individuals should also possess the obligation to disobey and resist unjust laws, which is of greater importance in terms of social development. Actually, such behavior of people, in many cases, serves as an impetus to social reform and progress. Examining the real world, people do not have to go a long way to find out a number of events in which individuals, by resisting unjust laws, greatly promoted social development and thus the public welfare. Consider, for example, Boston Tea Party, which is fairly famous in American history. Boston citizens who protested the unfair tax on tea imported to the colonies emptied the tea from the British ships into Boston Harbor. This event was largely responsible for America Revolution, which gave rise to a new and thriving democratic country. Another telling example involves Martin Luther King, one of the principal leaders of the American Civil Rights movement and a prominent advocate of non-violence protest.(描述冗长) He intrepidly challenged segregation and racial discrimination whose existence was allowed by unjust laws. His course became rather so effective that the black in America actually enjoyed much more rights than ever before. And his calling for racial justice and an integrated society have become almost as familiar to the subsequent generations of Americans as the Declaration of Independence.However, people should not be blind to the fact that on some occasions it is difficult for all people to agree on the standard against which laws are judged. As British philosopher Francis Bacon pointed out, "The human understanding is like a false mirror, which, receiving rays irregularly, distorts and discolors the nature of things by mingling its own nature with it." Therefore, people's stance towards the same law may vary widely. An illustration which aptly supports the point involves people's attitudes toward the law prohibiting abortion. In the eyes of some people, it is rather justifiable to put restriction on abortion in that infants should also be protected. However, from other's points of view, people should enjoy the rights to choose abortion because personal rights must not be violated. In the final analysis, I would like to reiterate my position, which has already been demonstrated, that as long as people are able to agree on which laws are just and which are not, they should assume the responsibility to conform to just ones and, even more importantly, to deny those unjust ones.

写得真的很不错, 所以也没什么好改动的. 希望能再次修改你的文章, 偶也可以学到更多的优质的行文手法.