[求助] 第一次写作文，没有限时。大家改改吧~ [复制链接]

soulframe
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-7-11 12:16:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

无g基础，无限时，不过好像也没超多少。但总觉得语言颇贫乏。。
题目是og上作文section的练习。
综合作文：文章讲人和meerkats这种动物在无私帮助别的成员时候的一些情况，讲座反驳了举出的一些事例。
It is discussed in the lecture that some new observations on meerkats show a different conclusion about Altruism from what the passage made.

The lecturer points out that most of the meerkat sentinels eat enough before they guard, they don’t need to suffer hunger when assist other members. It contradicted
what we are informed from the passage that these meerkats gain nothing, even food while the others eat.

Do meerkat sentinels really place themselves in danger to help the other members to flee safely when a predator comes? According to the lecturer,the answer is “to the
opposite”. In fact, the meerkat sentinel usually guard near a burrow and flee into it as quick as they can after giving alarm when a predator comes. In addition, the alarm will gather the other members to attract the predator, making the other members instead of the sentinel more at risk.

For humans, it is inferred from the passage that unselfish acts among humans range from the sharing food with strangers to the donation of body organs to family members, and they can get nothing from these actions. However the lecturer indicates that human always receive non-material reward such as appreciation and provel from who they helped and from the society.

独立作文问应该趁早离开父母独立生活还是尽量晚离开父母生活。
Birds in the nest waiting for food from their parents are always ones can’t fly, once they can fly, they leave the nest immediately. No flyable birds live depending on their
parents. So how about human? Should a young adult leave their parents when they can afford their own lives? Sure, if they want to experience the real lives, handle the
threats from lives, and build their confidences of lives earlier.

Young adults separated from parents will gain the most precious experiences of lives. They have to face every inevitable problem such as housing, diet, and the relationship to neighbors. They are financial independent so they should work harder to develop the qualities of lives. In the other hand, they will suffer very bad times when they lose their works. It is the real life, with risks and pressure, which one would earlier of later come through. Even if one prepare enough to his/her mind, s/he would never get rid of these risks and pressure. So, why not get in touch, then adapt earlier to them?

The adaptation of real life makes one sustainable to any threat in life. After losing and falling for countless times, young adults gather the smart responses to all of them. They buy gifts to the neighbors to meliorate or solidify the fellowship, they plan the finance accurately with foresight. When a disease or some accidental attack, they would
not be forced to the extremity because they have built a system of relationship and economy, with which they can handle the crisis more easily.

So the one who becomes independent earlier builds the final confidence of life earlier. Having been more experienced and passed more tribulation, they are likely to achieve their goal quicker than others of the same age. Someone would ask, aren’t they possible to fail because of the lack of preparation? They may fail, but more likely due to
other reasons rather than an earlier independence.

[ 本帖最后由 soulframe 于 2007-7-11 13:42 编辑 ]

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kevinliu6883
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-16 06:08:27 |只看该作者

回复 #1 soulframe 的帖子

For most of humans, it is impossible to receive parents' care all their lives. Sooner or later, children will leave their parents to begin their independent lives. Should a young adult leave their parents? In my .....

the benefit 1 (experience and knowledge for future)...
the benefit 2 (make friends, even date boyfriend/gorlfriend)...
the benefit 3 (freedom, make decision by yourself)...

opposite point of view retrospect and summary

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