[a习作temp] Argumnet48 【07-10G Superstar大帖】7.29作文 [复制链接]

TOPIC: ARGUMENT48 - The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country of Corpora.

"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."

WORDS: 662       TIME: 01:15:00          DATE: 2007-7-30 0:23:50

In this argument, the author recommends that if the economy does improve, the fitness level of citizens will increase. To substantiate the recommendation, the author cites a survey that the one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness and the highest ownership of computers to rule out that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. While this argument has some merits, it suffers from several critical problems.

Firstly, the cited statistics are intended to support the main claim that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. However, these statistics are to vague and oversimplified, thus may distort the overall picture of the real reason about declining citizens' fitness. For example, the author turns on the assumption that today the percentage of the citizens who met the standards for adequate physical fitness remain the same as twenty years ago which was 50 percentage. It fails to consider that the number of citizens who met the healthy standard may decrease and it may lower than the overall levels. Moreover, the author indicates that the levels of computer ownership are highest in regions of Corpora, but fails to indicate that the number of using computers are also highest. It entirely possible that the owners just use the computers for only 8 hours in work, which much less than the ones who use computers as player. Without considering and ruling out possibilities such as these, the author's recommendation cannot be taken seriously.

Secondly, no evidence has been offered to support the claim that the reason the low expenditures on fitness-related products and services is the decline in the economy.  While the economy declining may be an important factor of low expenditures, it might not be the only such factor. Many other causes could just as likely account for. For example, it's entirely possible that the products couldn't meet the need of citizens, or perhaps that the servers' quality is so bad that citizens wouldn't like to buy those products. Moreover, the author's solution to the fitness levels declining rests on the claim that economy improving is the cause of improving fitness level. However, no evidence has been offered to support this claim. In all likelihood many other causes could also have effect on the fitness improving. For example, the diet, the sleep habit and the ways of using fitness-related products and services. Lacking a detailed analysis of the reasons which would lead to improve the fitness conditions, it would be sheer folly to attribute fitness improvement to the increasing economy.

In addition, the author's recommendation that fitness levels will improve when the economy does raises one problem itself. It should be admitted that the good economical conditions may increase the residents' ability to buy the fitness-related products and services which benefits their fit, yet, if the author is wrong in the assumption that this the only factor that affect the fitness, the other factors which are important to the residents' fitness might be ignored. For example, it's entirely possible that the residents of Corpora are too busy to go to do sports or take the fitness-relative products, or perhaps that there is a badly environment-polluted which has an negative effect on the residents' health.

As it stands, the author's solution to the problem is based upon an oversimplified analysis of the issue.In sum, the author fails to validate the recommendation that Corpora should improve its economy in order to improve the residents' fitness. To make it more logically acceptable, the author should demonstrate the legitimacy of the real fitness situation of Corpora and the real reasons which lead to the decrease of fitness level. In addition, the author would have to provide more concrete evidence, especially information concerning the fitness-relative products and the factors which would affect the residents' health, to rule out the abovementioned possibility that would undermine the author's recommendation.