[a习作temp] Argument29 [奋战August]小组第二次作业 by dg336688 [复制链接]

dg336688
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-7-2 00:37:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT29 - When Ida McAllister ran for mayor of Lake City four years ago, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote. But since then, McAllister has made public her commitment to environmental causes. She would be wise, therefore, to announce her intention to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic, thus following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville, Alecia Yu . On the recommendation of a small group of concerned citizens, Mayor Yu prohibited automobile traffic in all Plainsville parks, and therefore was credited with solving the pollution problem and improving the quality of life in Plainsville. This action would have great appeal to the citizens of Lake City, most of whom participate in the community's recycling program, and would guarantee McAllister's success in her current quest to be Lake City's new mayor.
WORDS: 546       TIME: 00:30:00       DATE: 2007-7-2 0:36:39

According to this section of argument, it is clearly indicated that in order to win this round of mayor election in Lake City, Ida Mcallister a keen environmental pursuer made her mind to strengthen her political assertion on the issue of ecology as she is ready to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville. Moreover, citizens of Lake city also show their interests on this problem, most of them participate in the community's recycling program. By doing so, they believe this action would guarantee McAllister's success in her current campaign to be a new mayor.  In my viewpoint, I find out there are some several flaws and shortcoming in their assertion.

First of all, undeniably, it is a really great goodwill and determinations to deal with the environmental problem. I think her and her adherents' proposals are primarily pointed to goodwill and make a better life for our citizens. But will this proposal widely accepted by masses or what is the outcome of this originally benevolent act? On the one hand, what if the parks are closed for automobile? Maybe drivers can only find another better place to park their cars, so they will desperately find another parking places nearby, wouldn't it bring much inconvenience to the tourists who just wants to enjoy their times in the park? What's more worse, if they can't find a parking lot promptly, it probably would cause even heavier traffic jams around the park areas, in which the direct outcome would bring much more car exhaustion gas pollution to our city. As it were , it is really a invalid measurement to deal with pollution problem. Possibly Mayor Yu had already met the same problem which is not equally mentioned in that section.

On the other hand, though some citizens from Lake City show somewhat appeals to this programme, we still don't know how many people are there really supporting it if they have taken the question above into serious consideration. Before taking a widespread and general poll, it is hardly a effective and feasible suggestion. Let us take about the recycling program, is there any distinct connections between them? Most of people want to participate in that programme just as this deed is really closed associated with their life and without any hazards.

Last but not the least, as we know, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote in her last campaign. Let me guess something, aside from her goodwill causes, she must lack some kinds of attractions to her voters.  As a mayor, environmental issue is undoubtedly a crucial problem, but so do many other problems, such as local employment, healthcare insurance, laws , civic rights and so on , all of them are needed to take into serious account. If she can't get those things done, it is nearly impossible for her to win back voters' most widely supports.

To sum up, there is good suggestion for Ms.McAllister that she should take a widely-covered survey in Lake City for better soliciting people's opinion on that issue then determine which proposal is the best, in addition, she should elaborately plan her mayor campaign in every details that citizen are mostly concerned except mere environmental issue.

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zhaozhan
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-2 01:42:23 |只看该作者

According to this section of argument, it is clearly indicated that in order to win this round of mayor election in Lake City, Ida Mcallister[,] a keen environmental pursuer[,] made her mind to strengthen her political assertion on the issue of ecology as she is ready to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville. Moreover, citizens of Lake city also show their interests on this problem, most of them participate in the community's recycling program. By doing so, they believe this action would guarantee McAllister's success in her current campaign to be a new mayor. In my viewpoint, I find out there are some several flaws and shortcoming in their assertion.

First of all, undeniably, it is a really great goodwill and determinations to deal with the environmental problem. I think her and her adherents' proposals are primarily pointed to goodwill and make a better life for our citizens. But will this proposal widely accepted by masses or what is the outcome of this originally benevolent act? On the one hand, what [加上would happen]if the parks are closed for automobile? Maybe drivers can only find another better place to park their cars, so they will desperately find another parking places nearby, wouldn't it bring much inconvenience to the tourists who just wants to enjoy their times in the park? What's more worse[worse去掉吧], if they can't find a parking lot promptly, it probably would cause even heavier traffic jams around the park areas, in which the direct outcome would bring much more car exhaustion gas pollution to our city. As it were , it is really a invalid measurement to deal with pollution problem. Possibly Mayor Yu had already met the same problem which is not equally mentioned in that section.

On the other hand, though some citizens from Lake City show somewhat appeals to[用interested in 感觉更好] this programme, we still don't know how many people are there really supporting it if they have taken the question above into serious consideration. Before taking a widespread and general poll, it is hardly a effective and feasible suggestion. Let us take about the recycling program, is there any distinct connections between them? Most of people want to participate in that programme just as this deed is really closed associated with their life and without any hazards.

Last but not the least, as we know, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote in her last campaign. Let me guess something, aside from her goodwill causes, she must lack some kinds of attractions to her voters. As a mayor, environmental issue is undoubtedly a crucial problem, but so do many other problems, such as local employment, healthcare insurance, laws , civic rights and so on , all of them are needed to take into serious account. If she can't get those things done, it is nearly impossible for her to win back voters' most widely supports.

To sum up, there is good suggestion for Ms.McAllister that she should take a widely-covered survey in Lake City for better soliciting people's opinion on that issue then determine which proposal is the best, in addition, she should elaborately plan her mayor campaign in every details that citizen are mostly concerned except[besides] mere environmental issue.

你的作文字数写的符合要求，词汇量也挺大，真的应该向你学习，我老是找不到合适的例子凑字数你有好方法吗？

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dg336688
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板凳

发表于 2007-7-2 12:16:56 |只看该作者

回复 #2 zhaozhan 的帖子

非常感謝你的修改，那個worse,我是想更進一步說明那個措施的缺點，非但沒有解決環境問題，反而可能讓其更加惡化，what's worse應該可以吧，把more去掉~~~

你太謙虛了~ 例子我也很頭痛，特別是在ISSUE的寫作當中，因爲其論據必須要有深度。
ARGUMENT我覺得相對容易的多，並不需要很深的例子，只要能反駁它就行。

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dg336688
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地板

发表于 2007-8-3 01:12:45 |只看该作者

TOPIC: ARGUMENT29 - When Ida McAllister ran for mayor of Lake City four years ago, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote. But since then, McAllister has made public her commitment to environmental causes. She would be wise, therefore, to announce her intention to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic, thus following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville, Alecia Yu . On the recommendation of a small group of concerned citizens, Mayor Yu prohibited automobile traffic in all Plainsville parks, and therefore was credited with solving the pollution problem and improving the quality of life in Plainsville. This action would have great appeal to the citizens of Lake City, most of whom participate in the community's recycling program, and would guarantee McAllister's success in her current quest to be Lake City's new mayor.
WORDS: 563       TIME: 00:30:00       DATE: 2007-7-2 0:36:39

According to this section of argument, it is clearly indicated that in order to win this round of mayor election in Lake City, Ida Mcallister a keen environmental pursuer made her mind to strengthen her political assertion on the issue of ecology as she is ready to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville. Moreover, citizens of Lake city also show their interests on this problem, most of them participate in the community's recycling program. By doing so, they believe this action would guarantee McAllister's success in her current campaign to be a new mayor.  In my viewpoint, I find out there are some several flaws and shortcoming in their assertion.

First of all, undeniably, it is really goodwill and determinations to deal with the environmental problem. I think her and her adherents' proposals are primarily pointed to goodwill and make a better life for our citizens. But will this proposal widely accepted by masses or what is the outcome of this originally benevolent act? On one hand, what if the parks are closed for automobile? Maybe drivers can only find alternative place to park their cars, thereby they will desperately find other parking places nearby, which would bring much inconvenience to the tourists who just want to enjoy their leisure times in the park? What's worse, if they can't find a parking lot promptly, it probably would cause even heavier traffic jams around the park areas, in which the direct outcome would bring much more car exhaustion gas pollution to our city. As it were, it is really a invalid measurement to deal with pollution problem. Possibly Mayor Yu had already met the same problem which is not equally mentioned in that section.

On the other hand, though some citizens from Lake City show somewhat appeals to this programme, we still don't know how many people are there really supporting it if they have taken the question above into serious consideration. Before taking a widespread and general poll, it is not an effective and feasible suggestion. Furthermore, is there any distinct connection between recycling program and parking lot closure? Most of people want to participate in that programme possibly just as this deed is really closed associated with their life and without any hazards, which doesn’t mean that they would support Mayor McAllister’s plan.

Last but not the least, as we know, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote in her last campaign. Let me take a wild guess, aside from her goodwill causes, she must lack some kinds of attractions to her voters.  As a mayor, environmental issue is undoubtedly a crucial problem, but not the only one, many other issues are equally important for a win, such as local employment, healthcare insurance, laws, tax reduction and so on, all of which are needed to take into serious account. If she is incapable of showing her competence to voters, it is nearly impossible for her to win back voters' most widely supports.

To sum up, a good suggestion for Ms.McAllister that she should take a widely-covered survey in Lake City for better soliciting people's opinion on that issue, then determine which proposal is the best. In addition, she should elaborately plan her mayor campaign in every detail about which citizens are mostly concerned except from mere environmental issue.

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