[i习作temp] Issue208 Argument200 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组作文大帖】第九次作业 [复制链接]

scarf83
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-8-9 10:04:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 512 TIME: 00:00 DATE: 2007-8-9 9:22:41

I basically agree with the assertion that people's appearance and behavior reveals their attitudes and interests as well as the society's ideas and values. As we know, there are nearly two hundred countries in the world and thousands of kinds of culture. Different culture of different countries and districts has varies appearance, dressing, and values. And besides a gradual culture changing can also forebode the people's changing in mind and values to some extent. However, in the modern world, due to the open mind of the society, various culture is able to have a collision and communication through internet, cooperation, tourism and other methods. Thus, the appearance and behavior difference between many major countries especial in the metropolitan is not quite evident like before.

In the first place, the reason why I generally agree with the assertion is that people from different countries have different appearance and living habit which compose the local culture as a symbol of the nation. Consider, for example, people in Eastern World like to drink tea and the tea culture acquire significant development for several centuries. Its essence is to make people contemplate the moral principle and cultivate individual temperament. Consequently, tea culture as a typical delegate of numerous culture in Eastern World especially in China have a significant impact on people's attitude and mind. The clue of different traditional culture influence can still be embodied in our ordinary life.

However, in the present society information can be sent through internet immediately and people from different countries have more and more close cooperations and communications on business, culture, tourism and so forth. As a result, each culture in the world has an impact on one another and people's appearance and behavior are also gradually changing. For instance, in the current times tea has become a worldwide drink which is also very popular in Europe and America. And, besides, nowadays, people in Eastern World have formed a fashion of having western food and exotic festival like Halloween and Christmas Day. Another apt illustration of this point involves the western suit which has been worldwide recognized as the formal appearance for commercial negotiation, academic conference and so on.

Consequently, if you want to learn a society's ideas and values deeply, it has been not enough only to observing the appearance and behavior of its people because of the considerable national assimilation. The development of the society often has a long history which is merited to do more detail research. Because from the history perspective, the process of culture changing is also a progress of people's mind getting open and advanced. Especially in the country which has a long history and ingrain traditional rules, women appearance changing is an evident symbol, from which we can tell the changing process of human mind on female.

In sum, although it has to be conceded that modern technology like internet make the earth smaller and more similar, different cultures and tradition compose a colorful and animate world. From the changing process we can learn more about the changing of society's ideas and values.

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 384 TIME: 00:30:00 DATE: 2007-8-9 9:22:41

The passage is presented to assert the conclusion that dentists who advertise should emphasize on their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous of suffering patients to attract more male consumer. To substantiate this point, the author present statistics collected from dentists to prove that men are more likely to be distressed on dental work. However, in-depth scrutiny reveals several fallacies which largely undermine the credibility of this passage.

First and foremost, the author is failing to convince me that the statistics collected from dentists are able to reflect the truth that more men than women are faint while visiting dentist. Because in common sense, whether the patient is afraid of visiting dentist, the patient himself can understand his own feeling most clearly. Whereas the dentists' respond to the survey is just depend on the face expression and respond to dental work. Perhaps, men are more likely to convey more than their real faint feeling about dental work. Consequently, the presumption based on the statistics are not able to be established.

Secondly, I would examine whether the men and women visiting the dentist will receive the similar treatment or not due to their different physical situation. It is entirely possible that dental work on men is more complicated and need long time to finish. Without providing any materials about the treatment, the author is failing to make me convinced that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are.

Thirdly, the purpose of dentists is to get profits through dental work. However, the author is too hasty to suggest that dentists who advise to attract patients should target the male consumer without any investigation about the gender proportion of patients. Even provided that men are more likely to be distressed than women are, if male patients account on only a few part of the total patients, it will not be an appropriate suggestion for dentists to target on male consumer.

In sum, to improve this passage better, the author should provide more materials about the treatment of men and women. Besides, patients' feeling on dental work should be investigate further to prove the presumption. And, before clear investigation is made, it is not proper for the dentists to make any decision on the advertisement target.

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xsr6064
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-10 23:23:24 |只看该作者

I basically agree with the assertion that people's appearance and behavior reveals their attitudes and interests as well as the society's ideas and values. As we know, there are nearly two hundred countries in the world and thousands of kinds of culture. Different culture of different countries and districts has varies appearance, dressing, and values. And besides a gradual culture changing can also forebode the people's changing in mind and values to some extent. However, in the modern world, due to the open mind of the society, various culture is able to have a collision and communication through internet, cooperation, tourism and other methods. Thus, the appearance and behavior difference between many major countries especial in the metropolitan is not quite evident like before.

In the first place, the reason why I generally agree with the assertion is that people from different countries have different appearance and living habit which compose the local culture as a symbol of the nation. Consider, for example, people in Eastern World like to drink tea and the tea culture acquire significant development for several centuries. Its essence is to make people contemplate the moral principle and cultivate individual temperament. Consequently, tea culture as a typical delegate of numerous culture in Eastern World especially in China have a significant impact on people's attitude and mind. The clue of different traditional culture influence can still be embodied in our ordinary life.

However, in the present society information can be sent through internet immediately and people from different countries have more and more close cooperations and communications on business, culture, tourism and so forth. As a result, each culture in the world has an impact on one another and people's appearance and behavior are also gradually changing. For instance, in the current times tea has become a worldwide drink which is also very popular in Europe and America. And, besides, nowadays, people in Eastern World have formed a fashion of having western food and exotic festival like Halloween and Christmas Day. Another apt illustration of this point involves the western suit which has been worldwide recognized as the formal appearance for commercial negotiation, academic conference and so on.(感觉加一句比如现代社会单从外表不容易判断人们的思想之类的话在前面会清晰一些)

Consequently, if you want to learn a society's ideas and values deeply, it has been not enough only to observing the appearance and behavior of its people because of the considerable national assimilation. The development of the society(说社会的发展有些太笼统了，第一次读有些弄不明白是什么意思，细想一下感觉development of values要好理解一些，个人观点) often has a long history which is merited to do more detail research. Because from the history perspective, the process of culture changing is also a progress of people's mind getting open and advanced. Especially in the country which has a long history and ingrain traditional rules, women appearance changing is an evident symbol, from which we can tell the changing process of human mind on female.(意思能够理解，但可能是我不了解的句式，但总感觉结构有些混乱)

个人感觉上段论述中思维跳跃比较大，论述不是太严密，具体表现在：1.The development of the societyoften has a long history which is merited to do more detail research一句阅读时感觉会有深入的论述，但接下来却转入另一个似乎不太相关的话题。2. Because from the history perspective之后的内容没有有力的支持分论点。分论点是说国际间的相互融合使不能从外表判断人们的价值观，而Because from the history perspective之后是在讨论文化进步和人们观念开放和进步的关系。个人意见，仅供参考。

In sum, although it has to be conceded that modern technology like internet make the earth smaller and more similar, different cultures and tradition compose a colorful and animate world. From the changing process we can learn more about the changing of society's ideas and values.

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xsr6064
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板凳

发表于 2007-8-10 23:47:12 |只看该作者

The passage is presented to assert the conclusion that dentists who advertise should emphasize on their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous of suffering patients to attract more male consumer. To substantiate this point, the author present statistics collected from dentists to prove that men are more likely to be distressed on dental work. However, in-depth scrutiny reveals several fallacies which largely undermine the credibility of this passage.

First and foremost, the author is failing to convince me that the statistics collected from dentists are able to reflect the truth that more men than women are faint while visiting dentist. Because in common sense, whether the patient is afraid of visiting dentist, the patient himself can understand his own feeling most clearly. Whereas the dentists' respond to the survey is just depend on the face expression and respond to dental work. Perhaps, men are more likely to convey more than their real faint feeling about dental work. Consequently, the presumption based on the statistics are not able to be established.

Secondly, I would examine whether the men and women visiting the dentist will receive the similar treatment or not due to their different physical situation. It is entirely possible that dental work on men is more complicated and need long time to finish. Without providing any materials about the treatment, the author is failing to make me convinced that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are.(感觉应该是第一个攻击点的内容)

Thirdly, the purpose of dentists is to get profits through dental work. However, the author is too hasty to suggest that dentists who advise to attract patients should target the male consumer without any investigation about the gender proportion of patients. Even provided that men are more likely to be distressed than women are, if male patients account on only a few part of the total patients, it will not be an appropriate suggestion for dentists to target on male consumer.

好像漏了一个疗效的攻击点。

In sum, to improve this passage better, the author should provide more materials about the treatment of men and women. Besides, patients' feeling on dental work should be investigate further to prove the presumption. And, before clear investigation is made, it is not proper for the dentists to make any decision on the advertisement target.

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