[a习作temp] Argument2 [0806G－Climate作文小组]第一次作业 by 冰棍 [复制链接]

wode56585759
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-11-10 23:51:58 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument 2 .Thefollowing appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners
from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set
of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what
colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average
property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property
values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on
landscaping and housepainting."

2007-11-09 words 450 time:~~~

The Argumentassumed that the community should restrictions on landscaping and housepaintingon account ofraising the property values in Deerhaven Acres.The author has successful experiences of thecommunity nearby to go by. Brookvillecommunity adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should belandscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since thenthe average property values have tripled. There are several aspects exposingthe argument’s flaws:

First, the major problemwith this argument is that the situations among thetwo communities cannot be analogized together,even if the two communities close enough to be neighbor. The assumption can notestablish on the basis of argument without providing the similaritiesand differences comparison between the two sites forthe reason that the communication, the quality of the houses, the service inthe estate management, even who your neighborsare might determine the value of the property.
Despite the fact thatthe house painting and the landscape may somewhat influence the outlook imageof the houses, the community with unfortunate plan or terrible surrounding willnever attract the buyers’ eyesight.

On the other hand, the average property values have tripled in Brookvillemight not only because the unified color of housepainting. The Brookville communityadopted this set of restrictions in seven years ago, during this time the manychanges might take place. The average property values may rise by the improvementof the public facilities, environmental condition or the newly opened supermarket nearby.

They setrestrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colorsthe exteriors of homes should be painted write off the individuality of thelandscape. Currently this is an era of personality unlike the old style in sevenyears ago, householder like to live in a place particularly design and buildfor him without identical with others’. Now progressively wealthy men like topay for the discrepancy, all the same look will make them feel boring.

Another flaw thatweakens this argument is that the propertyhigh value, not the mark of people’s preference for living there. So manyexpensive communities here in our country have gorgeous landscape but not everyone can afford the money and the time-consuming car run from the community tothe workplace.

In sum up,to establish the argument the arguer should provide more evidence forthe similarity condition between the two locations, prove that the situation isalmost the same with that at seven years ago. Further, what is the residencesright to decide weather to approve the restrictions, the administer apartmentought to listen the opinion from the residences, if not they may leave theredue to unsatisfied opposition.

[ 本帖最后由 wode56585759 于 2007-11-10 23:53 编辑 ]

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billy4ever
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沙发

发表于 2007-11-11 10:54:47 |只看该作者

The argument assumed that the community should restrictions (restriction is a noun,you may say should set restriction on or should restrict on)on landscaping and housepaintingon account ofraising (Actually I have never met this word,you may got wrong spelling) the property values in Deerhaven Acres. The author has successful experiences of the community nearby to go by这句的结构似乎欠妥，读着有点怪. Brookvillecommunity adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should belandscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then the average property values have tripled.  There are several aspects exposing the argument’s flaws: In my personal perspective, try to use less there be sentences as possible as you can.

First, the major problem with this argument is that the situations among the two communities cannot be analogized together, the threshold problem with this letter is that the author fails to distuiguish the different conditions between B and DA communities.供你参考~even if the two communities close enough to be neighbor. The assumption can not establish on the basis of argument without providing the similarities and differences comparison between the two sites for the reason that the communication, the quality of the houses, the service inthe estate management, even who your neighborsare might determine the value of the property.
Despite the fact that the house painting and the landscape may somewhat influence the outlook image of the houses, the community with unfortunate plan or terrible surrounding will never attract the buyers’ eyesight.

On the other hand, the average property values have tripled in Brookville might not only because the unified color of housepainting. The Brookville community adopted this set of restrictions in seven years ago, during this time the many changes might take place. The average property values may rise by the improvement of the public facilities, environmental condition or the newly opened supermarket nearby.

They 物主代词Their吧 setrestrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted write off? 这个短语不大理解  the individuality of the landscape. Currently this is an era of personality unlike the old style in seven years ago, householder like to live in a place particularly design and build for him without identical with others’. Now progressively wealthy men like topay for the discrepancy, all the same look will make them feel boring.

Another flaw that(可以删去) weakens this argument is that the property high value? highly valued, not the mark of people’s preference for living there. So many expensive communities here in our country have gorgeous landscape but not everyone can afford the money and the time-consuming car run from the community tothe workplace. 这段的论证显得不那么理直气壮，缺乏有效的例子支持，有点画蛇添足了。

In sum up, to establish the argument the arguer should provide more evidence for the similarity condition between the two locations, prove that the situation is almost the same with that at seven years ago. Further, what is the residences right to decide weather to approve the restrictions, the administer apartment ought to listen to the opinion from the residences, if not they may leave there due to unsatisfied opposition.

感觉文中拼写和语法错误还存在不少，楼主可以写完文章后先在word里改改，它的自动纠错能找到一些拼写和语法错误~
给我感觉读起来有些乱，呵呵~
水平有限，只能这样改了

欢迎回拍我的argu2 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-761330-1-3.html

[ 本帖最后由 billy4ever 于 2007-11-11 10:58 编辑 ]

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wode56585759
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板凳

发表于 2007-11-11 15:11:21 |只看该作者

write off 勾销取消

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wode56585759
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地板

发表于 2007-11-11 15:14:29 |只看该作者

按你的改了的

The argumentassumed that the community should restricton landscaping and housepaintingon account of raising the propertyvalues in Deerhaven Acres. The author go by successful experiences of thecommunity nearby: Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how thecommunity's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homesshould be painted. Since then the average property values havetripled.  Several aspects expose the argument’s flaws:

First, the threshold problem with this letter is that the author fails todistinguish the different conditions between B and DA communities. even if thetwo communities close enough to be neighbor. The assumption can not establishon the basis of argument without providing the similarities and differencescomparison between the two sites for the reason that the communication, thequality of the houses, the service in the estate management, even who yourneighbors are might determine the value of the property.

Despite the fact that the house painting and the landscape may somewhatinfluence the outlook image of the houses, the community with unfortunate planor terrible surrounding will never attract the buyers’ eyesight.

On the other hand, the average property values have tripled in Brookville mightnot only because the unified color of housepainting. The Brookville communityadopted this set of restrictions in seven years ago, during this time the manychanges might take place. The average property values may rise by theimprovement of the public facilities, environmental condition or the newlyopened supermarket nearby.

Their set restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped andwhat colors the exteriors of homes should be painted will write off theindividuality of the landscape. Currently this is an era of personality unlikethe old style in seven years ago, householder like to live in a placeparticularly design and build for him without identical with others’. Nowprogressively wealthy men like to pay for the discrepancy, all the same lookwill make them feel boring.


In sum up, to establish the argument the arguer should provide more evidencefor the similarity condition between the two locations, prove that thesituation is almost the same with that at seven years ago. Further, what is theresidences right to decide weather to approve the restrictions, the administerapartment ought to listen to the opinion from the residences, if not they mayleave there due to unsatisfied opposition.

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