[i习作temp] issue150 『jet小组』 第五次作业 [复制链接]

"Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

字数 ：530

The author asserts that along with the advances of the television and worldwide computer connections , tourism will soon become obsolete for they can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. I concede that for some certain reasons tourism might decline a little. Nevertheless, In my viewpoint tourism will become prosperous with the advent of television and the worldwide computer connections.  

Admittedly, the development of television and worldwide computer connections would lead to the declination of the tourism for the business purposes. As the business becomes  increasing depend on the Internet, managers can have a conference through face-to-face dialogue based on Internet instead of making a business trip to another city. In addition , people at home can learn a valuable lesson by television and Internet to learn about many beautiful places they have never been to. Notwithstanding that most common people can not support to a travel because of the limitation of time and financial problem, the television and Internet can show them numerous pictures and information of many places of interests such as pyramids, the Great Wall and so on ,so it is unnecessary for such individuals to plan some money or time costing visits.

However, tourism could not be replaced by other means considering there are a myriad of merits. You can be personally on the scene, enjoying the melting sunshine and breeze, climbing, swimming and getting yourself refreshed. All of these can not be substituted by watching or surfing the net. Traveling to the real place is a quite different thing from just seeing a picture or even an enhanced 3D movies. Travelling can get oneself emancipated from the ordinary suffocating work, which are the reasons why a lot of people choose to travel .People can get exercised during the tourism while walking or experiencing some relax game. All of these television or Internet can not bring to us.

"Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

字数 ：530

The author asserts that along with the advances of（短语不错） the television and worldwide computer connections , tourism will soon become obsolete for they（指代谁？） can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. I concede that for some certain reasons tourism might decline a little. Nevertheless, In my viewpoint tourism will become prosperous with the advent of television and the worldwide computer connections.（这两句有一些矛盾，变换一下用词和语句可能会好些）

Admittedly, the development of television and worldwide computer connections would lead to the declination of the tourism for the business purposes. As the business becomes increasing（increasingly） depend on the Internet, managers can have a conference through face-to-face dialogue based on Internet instead of making a business trip to another city. In addition , people at home can learn a valuable lesson by television and Internet to learn about many beautiful places they have never been to. Notwithstanding that most common people can not support to（觉得afford比较好） a travel because of the limitation of time and financial problem, the television and Internet can show them numerous pictures and information of many places of interests such as pyramids, the Great Wall and so on ,so it is unnecessary for such individuals to plan some money or time costing（consuming） visits.

However, tourism could not be replaced by other means considering there are a myriad of merits. You can be personally on the scene, enjoying the melting sunshine and breeze, climbing, swimming and getting yourself refreshed. All of these can not be substituted by watching or surfing the net. Traveling to the real place is a quite different thing from just seeing a picture or even an enhanced 3D movies. Travelling can get oneself emancipated from the ordinary suffocating work, which are the reasons why a lot of people choose to travel .People can get exercised during the tourism while walking or experiencing some relax game. All of these television or Internet can not bring to us.