[i习作temp] 【凤于九天作文小组第6次作业】ISSUE83 by大炮 [复制链接]

无尘小钢炮
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-7-29 11:57:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
WORDS: 533 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2008-7-29 11:16:29
提纲：
1 有助于保护环境，增加树木，保护濒危动物
2 有助于科学研究，提供更大空间以及危险的研究
3 其它用途比如旅游业，只要冒险者遵守规定不破坏环境
规定时间内是写完了，发现自己写的全是很简单的句子＋语言。。
As the development of society, an increasing number of people are demanding more places to survive as well as to be entertainment, so the government has obligation to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural states, as the speaker asserts. I fundamentally agree with this point, for the reason that it can maintain the environmental balance, help scientific research as well as other utilities as discussed below.

To begin with, since modern society, paticularly these years, many environmental problems have posed a great threat on men's survive, such as polution, ozone hole and the extinct species, all of which are due to the fast development of industry and some unreasonal behavior of human beings. Hence, I believe to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in the remote places can help solve these problems. As is known to us all, vingin forest with large amounts of trees can turn carbon dioxide to oxygen and maintain the balance of the environment, however, because the deforestation made by the human, keeping this balance become more and more difficult as the reasult of decrease in the number of the trees. Preserving publicly owned wilderness areas, and building wilderness areas with its unaccessibility of human can stop such situation, which can recover the balance of the oxergin and carbodioexer. On the other hand, along with the development of high technology, people began to use advanced instrument to catch animals they would like to eat, also such development bring polution which menace the existence of many species, so building those areas are essential to provide better places for these species to survive, and it has to do with the responsibility of human, as well as protecting environment for ourselves.

The second reason to sustaining the building of the areas is that it can help our scientific research. Nowadays, most people are willing to live in the big cities,making such places with limited space, while some special researchs need more spaces with no human ever activate, they refer it to the wilderness.For example, the biologist wants to do an experiment on a tiger in the forest, he should live in this forest to obeserve the behavior of tiger with no other things interrupting him. Moreover, if a country wants to do a research with great damage, they have to do it in the wild areas for safety, thus the wilderness areas are important for it provides enough places for experiments.

Another advantage of building wilderness areas concerns with the tourism of such areas, wilderness does not equals that no one existing, there must be some riskers willing to go to such dangerous areas, and the government can develop this kind of tourim to extend taxes with prociding some basic instrument of surving, but be sure, whose who want to enter into the areas , should comply certain prescription of the areas in order to keep it nature.

In sum, I strongly agree to build publicly owned wilderness areas, they can maintain the balance of the world, help protect the environment, as well as provide places for scientific research. Moreover, some hobby can come into the areas for fun with certain discipline and help improve the tax income of the government.

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lintyhuang
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沙发

发表于 2008-7-30 14:37:30 |只看该作者

As the development of society, an increasing number of people are demanding more places to survive as well as to be entertainment, so the government has obligation to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural states, as the speaker asserts. (这句话因果联系不是很紧密，因为人们需要更多的生存空间，所以政府要保护荒地？) I fundamentally agree with this point, for the reason that it can maintain the environmental balance, help scientific research as well as other utilities as discussed below.

To begin with, since modern society, particularly these years, many environmental problems have posed a great threat on men's survive, such as pollution, ozone hole and the extinct species, all of which are due to the fast development of industry and some unreasonable behavior of human beings. Hence, I believe to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in the remote places can help solve these problems. As is known to us all, virgin forest with large amounts of trees can turn carbon dioxide to oxygen and maintain the balance of the environment, however, because the deforestation made by the human, keeping this balance become more and more difficult as the result of decrease in the number of the trees. Preserving publicly owned wilderness areas, and building wilderness areas with its inaccessibility of human can stop such situation, which can recover the balance of the oxygen and carbon dioxide. On the other hand, along with the development of high technology, people began to use advanced instrument to catch animals they would like to eat, also such development bring pollution which menace the existence of many species, so building those areas are essential to provide better places for these species to survive, and it has to do with the responsibility of human, as well as protecting environment for ourselves.(最后一句太长了，在so前面就可以断掉。保护珍惜动物可以主要说一下污染和偷猎，不用说吃吧，貌似只有中国人才热衷吃这些乱七八糟的野生动物。)

The second reason to sustaining the building of the areas is that it can help our scientific research. Nowadays, most people are willing to live in the big cities, making such places with limited space, while some special researchers need more spaces with no human ever activate (activity), they refer it to the wilderness. For example, the biologist wants to do an experiment on a tiger in the forest, he should live in this forest to observe the behavior of tiger with no other things interrupting him. Moreover, if a country wants to do a research with great damage, they have to do it in the wild areas for safety, thus the wilderness areas are important for it provides enough places for experiments.(这段话有几处“with no”, 建议改成“without”；感觉论据也不是很好，去wilderness areas搞科学研究不应该是为了不被打扰吧，应该是为了动植物之类的东西。去wilderness areas搞高危险的研究，又感觉和前面说的要保护相悖。)

Another advantage of building wilderness areas concerns with the tourism of such areas, wilderness does not equal that no one existing (什么意思？), there must be some riskers willing to go to such dangerous areas, and the government can develop this kind of tourim to extend taxes with providing some basic instrument of serving, but be sure, whose who want to enter into the areas , should comply certain prescription of the areas in order to keep it nature.(如果说开发旅游业是为了征税，就显得有些狭隘了，可以说是满足人们了解自然的愿望，教育人们保护自然的意识。)

In sum, I strongly agree to build publicly owned wilderness areas, they can maintain the balance of the world, help protect the environment, as well as provide places for scientific research. Moreover, some hobby can come into the areas for fun with certain discipline and help improve the tax income of the government.

整篇文章结构很清楚，逻辑也比较严密。句子和词汇也很丰富。美中不足的是有些句子太长了，也不符合语法，建议作者剪短。

[ 本帖最后由 lintyhuang 于 2008-7-30 14:39 编辑 ]

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