[i习作temp] issue207 【challenge yourself小组】第7次作业 by springelf [复制链接]

springelf
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-8-3 23:31:51 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

207 "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are." [05/25; 06/2]

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The author asserts that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture, without them, people will diminish their social sense. Although I concede that the rituals and ceremonies help define a culture and position people social role, I disagree that without rituals and ceremonies, people will diminish their social sense.

True, with the beginning of culture, the ritual and ceremonies exist. The ritual and ceremonies not only mark a kind of culture but also the marker of custom. On the other words, the culture marked by ritual and ceremonies can be called custom. In fact, from the moment of his birth, the ceremony affects him when he was born, such as ablution. By the time he can talk, he is the little creature of his culture, and by the tome he is grown and able to take part in its activities, its habits are his habits, its beliefs his beliefs, its impossibilities his impossibilities. And the ritual and ceremonies undoubtedly enforce his role in this society; make them recognize that he is the one in such society. Take the sense, the ceremonies and ritual defined the culture.

In addition, the rituals and ceremonies were pretty well set from the beginning of this country because from the earliest stages they reflected the attitude and filled the needs of society as it development. And the rituals and ceremonies help people position their role accurately. For example, in America, babies will get baptized, which means that they are brought to the world. Little girls as young as two or three are two or three are encouraged to take pride in having shiny hair; at age ninety, "getting their hair done" in the nursing home beauty shop may well be the highlight of the elderly ladies' week. And all these are the rituals and ceremonies. Although to a large extent these ritual are strengthen or weakened during the period, the function that position the people’s social role are not changed.

However, now, we are in the “information society”, and the Internet not only changes the earth into a village, but also brings the cultural globalization. In fact, even if some traditional culture, especially the rituals and ceremonies will diminish, the cultural globalization is inevitable, especially the youth, who were linked by the proliferation of media like popular music, the Internet and other communication technologies in their everyday lives. Accordingly, the tradition or rituals and ceremonies are indifferently neglected by the people. However, without the rituals and ceremonies, people have not diminished a sense of who they are, but clearly recognize who they are. For example, the pop music, Internet becomes the marker of the youth, who even do not anticipate in rituals or ceremonies. Also, they recognize that they are the group which marked the modern culture by themselves and by each other. For other people, they will be cataloged to the other group without these marks by themselves and others. Due to these modern culture, having no ritual and ceremonies, the people have a new sense of who they are.

In sum, the author’s claim is too arbitrary and over-exaggerates the function of ceremonies and rituals. Indeed, the ceremonies and rituals help define the culture, especially traditional culture, and make the custom, and at the same time, they have some effect on positioning the people’s social role. However, with the culture evolution, the ceremonies and rituals are no longer the only way to define the culture and people’s social role, modern culture also can and is bound to play the same role as ceremonies and rituals.

遇到culture的文章我就头大，凑了半天还是不好，请狠批~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ 本帖最后由 springelf 于 2008-8-3 23:33 编辑 ]

the pursuit of my happiness

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superjiang001
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沙发

发表于 2008-8-5 11:07:58 |只看该作者

The author asserts that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture, without them, people will diminish their social sense. Although I concede that the rituals and ceremonies help define a culture and position people's social role, I disagree that without rituals and ceremonies, people will diminish their social sense.经典开头写法，缺乏新意，建议群主改进

True（能这么用吗？我不太确定）, with the beginning of culture, the ritual and ceremonies exist（可以把beginning换成dawn）. The ritual and ceremonies not only mark a kind of culture but also the marker of custom. On the other words, the culture marked by ritual and ceremonies can be called custom. In fact, from the moment of his birth, the ceremony affects him when he was born(这半句和前半句重复吧？), such as ablution. By the time he can talk, he is the little creature of his culture, and by the tome he is grown and able to take part in its activities, its habits are his habits, its beliefs his beliefs, its impossibilities his impossibilities.（没太懂什么意思） And the ritual and ceremonies undoubtedly enforce his role in this society; make them recognize that he is the one in such society. Take the sense, the ceremonies and ritual defined the culture.（感觉论证不太深入，最好还是举具体事例进行论证，比如具体有哪些仪式帮助阐释了文化，怎么阐释的）

In addition, the rituals and ceremonies were pretty well set from the beginning of this country because from the earliest stages they reflected the attitude and filled the needs of society as it development. And the rituals and ceremonies help people position their role accurately. For example, in America, babies will get baptized, which means that they are brought to the world. Little girls as young as two or three are two or three are encouraged to take pride in having shiny hair; at age ninety, "getting their hair done" in the nursing home beauty shop may well be the highlight of the elderly ladies' week. And all these are the rituals and ceremonies. Although to a large extent these ritual are strengthen or weakened during the period, the function that position the people’s social role are not changed.(这段和上一段说的一个意思吧？可以和在一起)

However, now, we are in the “information society”,（信息社会可以这么用吗） and the Internet not only changes the earth into a village, but also brings us the cultural globalization. In fact, even if some traditional culture, especially the rituals and ceremonies（另外群主好像把rituals，ceremonies和culture搞混了） will (will去掉)diminish, the cultural globalization is inevitable, especially the youth, who were linked by the proliferation of media like popular music, the Internet and other communication technologies in their everyday （everyday换成daily）lives. Accordingly, the tradition or rituals and ceremonies are indifferently neglected by the people. However, without the rituals and ceremonies, people have not diminished a sense of who they are, but clearly recognize who they are(who they are 换成identity). For example, the pop music, Internet becomes the marker of the youth, who even do not anticipate in rituals or ceremonies. Also, they recognize that they are the group which marked the modern culture by themselves and by each other. For other people, they will be cataloged to the other group without these marks by themselves and others. Due to these modern culture, having no ritual and ceremonies, the people have a new sense of who they are.

In sum, the author’s claim is too arbitrary and over-exaggerates the function of ceremonies and rituals. Indeed, the ceremonies and rituals help define the culture, especially traditional culture, and make the custom, and at the same time, they have some effect on positioning the people’s social role. However, with the culture evolution, the ceremonies and rituals are no longer the only way to define the culture and people’s social role, modern culture also can and is bound to play the same role as ceremonies and rituals. (开头和结尾模板痕迹比较严重，建议改进，另外，群主的论证不够深入，例子举得也不是十分恰当，建议看看别人的文章和范文)

水平有限，辨证接受，呵呵

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