[a习作temp] 【凤于九天】作文小组第八次作业 Argument50 [复制链接]

tongzhi
UID：2385875

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 347
注册时间: 2007-8-20
精华: 0
帖子: 3

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2008-7-31 13:09:09 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT50 - From a draft textbook manuscript submitted to a publisher.
"As Earth was being formed out of the collision of space rocks, the heat from those collisions and from the increasing gravitational energy of the planet made the entire planet molten, even the surface. Any water present would have evaporated and gone off into space. As the planet approached its current size, however, its gravitation became strong enough to hold gases and water vapor around it as an atmosphere. Because comets are largely ice made up of frozen water and gases, a comet striking Earth then would have vaporized. The resulting water vapor would have been retained in the atmosphere, eventually falling as rain on the cooled and solidified surface of Earth. Therefore, the water in Earth's oceans must have originated from comets."
WORDS: 381 TIME: 00:31:00 DATE: 2008-7-30 19:47:43

In this article, the author concludes that the water in Earth's oceans must have originated from comets. To support this conclusion, the author cites that any water present would have evaporated and gone off into space due to the heart of earth form collisions and from the increasing gravitational energy of the planet. And the writer also offers that the water from comet would vapor and have been retained in the atmosphere due to comet are made up of frozen water and gases. This argument rests on some assumption and is therefore unconvincing.

To begin with, the threshold assumption which the author relies on is that any present water would have evaporated and gone off into space. However, this argument fails to substantiate. It is entirely possible that although the heart in the plant is high, but it cannot evaporate all water in the Earth. Because Earth is so big that molten all parts of it would cost a lot of energy, and as we know that evaporating the number of water also needs to spend much heart. In addition, Earth is in Universe which is very cold and as a result, some heart would dismiss into space. Therefore, some water might still in the planet, while it in the edge of evaporating. Accordingly, the author cannot believe that any water in the earth would evaporate without any evidence.

Besides, the author also depends on additional assumption that a comet striking Earth would bring much water. It is common sense that the comet though the Universe at the high speed which will create lots of heart that can evaporate most parts of its water. Therefore, the author cannot easily draw such a conclusion.

Finally, the author claims that there were a lot of comets striking Earth which can bring much water formulate oceans. As we know that ocean contains extremely much water. And people also know that there were few comets striking Earth according to the historical records. Thus, without enough evidence, the author cannot make such a conclusion.

To sum up, in order to persuade people believe, the author should offer evidence that any water in the Earth would evaporate. And the writer would also provide evidence that comet contain lots of water and many of them striking the planet.

[ 本帖最后由 liyue24 于 2008-7-31 13:11 编辑 ]

回应
0

使用道具举报

楚小柳
UID：2518724

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 329
注册时间: 2008-7-19
精华: 0
帖子: 0

沙发

发表于 2008-7-31 22:10:48 |只看该作者

In this article, the author concludes that the water in Earth's oceans must have originated from comets. To support this conclusion, the author cites that any water present would have evaporated and gone off into space due to the heart of earth form collisions and from the increasing gravitational energy of the planet. And the writer also offers that the water from comet would vapor and have been retained in the atmosphere due to comet are made up of frozen water and gases. This argument rests on some assumption and is therefore unconvincing.
看来你是完全按照新东方的开头写的啊这样是保险但是要的高一点的难  有时间你可以尝试下创新

To begin with, the threshold assumption which the author relies on is that any present water would have evaporated and gone off into space. However, this argument fails to substantiate. It is entirely possible that although the heart in the plant is high, but it cannot evaporate all water in the Earth. Because Earth is so big that molten all parts of it would cost a lot of energy, and as we know that evaporating the number of water also needs to spend much heart. In addition, Earth is in Universe which is very cold and as a result, some heart would dismiss into space. Therefore, some water might still in the planet, while it in the edge of evaporating. Accordingly, the author cannot believe that any water in the earth would evaporate without any evidence.

Besides, the author also depends on additional assumption that a comet striking Earth would bring much water. It is common sense that the comet though the Universe at the high speed which will create lots of heart that can evaporate most parts of its water. Therefore, the author cannot easily draw such a conclusion.
批驳彗星撞地球会带来水分的可靠性

Finally, the author claims that there were a lot of comets striking Earth which can bring much water formulate oceans. As we know that ocean contains extremely much water. And people also know that there were few comets striking Earth according to the historical records. Thus, without enough evidence, the author cannot make such a conclusion.
··这段比较别扭  而且看起来有点太浅了  其实这篇蛮难得  我错误都找不太准的

To sum up, in order to persuade people believe, the author should offer evidence that any water in the Earth would evaporate. And the writer would also provide evidence that comet contain lots of water and many of them striking the planet.
结尾也是XDF标志结尾  其实还是不错的

看你超时了一点点还要加油啊
由于这篇我没写所以看来看去也看不出什么东西来见谅

使用道具举报