[i习作temp] Issue120 【文以载道之决战二月】第三周作业 by cipherhuang [复制链接]

cipherhuang
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2008-12-5 07:35:54 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

提纲
1、过去的经验给予我们经验与教训，我们的知识几乎都来自过去
2、过去的经历是个人认识自我的手段
3、认同祖国的历史可以使人们联结在一起，激发爱国热情
4、不应该被过去的知识经验所限制

In this era of information, newly emerge technologies, knowledge, and concepts fill every pore of our life. We are facing an everyday-new world, handling complex and overloaded information nearly exhaustively. However, does this provide us with an excuse to ignore our past? Or a reason to contend that its guidance no longer fits? I find it not, for nearly all our present knowledge, our moral lessons, and our ability to forseen the future springs from our past experience, and so will it in the future. And more importantly, we need to identify ourselves by what we have gone through before.

Knowledge from the past is one of the most important, if not the only, means by which we get to understand the world around us, and walk our way forward. After all, if we do not count on our past for guidance, what shall we refer to, as the present is changing every second, the future remains uncertain? Sophistically, if we did not turn to books recording what our predecessors discover in the past, we would be as ignorant as we were thousands of years ago. What happened in the past always provides us with instructions of arduous paths to avoid, effective measures to take, illustrated with vivid examples. Better understanding of the second World War-- what triggers it, and what painful loss we have suffered from it-- urges us to prevent the rise of any authoritarian country in the world with our utmost endeavor, prohibits nations from declaring war inadvertently. Another example of the given lesson involves the introduction of the concept of sustainable development to developing countries, which stems from their knowledge of the heavy pollution once brought by the unhealthy pattern of development in now-developed countries. Indeed, we shall perpetuate the value of such lecture accquired by reviewing our past, because however different a world we will face, our nature, concern, or weakness as human remain somewhat unchanged.

What's more, if we realized how essential the picture of our past is in understanding and identifying ourselves, we would find it actually indispensable. We may often experience moments when we suddenly feel confused about why we live in the world, who am I, where am I going to. These questions in fact pose an enduring philosophical proposition, the answer to which our meaning of life hinge upon. If we do not even know what kind of people we are, what group we belong to, what we have gone through in the past, how can we value our present being? After all, it's our past that shapes our personalities and interests, develops our abilities and virtue, and fully understands our deepest need and desire, thereby defined who we are. Abandoning our past, we are nothing but an empty being.

Such need of an individual to identify himself actually is analogous to that of a nation. Historical heritages handed from our ancestors, museums collecting belongings of the ancients, and history books recording our past all serve as evidences of the being of a nation. These days, there is a popular trend that nations establish festivals to commemorate their great history events and heroes. By recognizing the history of their homeland, people often feel a sense of belonging, and they will act more in the interest of the nation. Therefore, understanding its past, and then cultivating people's patriotism by stimulating proud in their shared history, can help to consolidate the nation.

Despite the useful advice and great benefits from our past, I insist that the function of what happened or fixed in the past should not extend over providing guidance, to dictating our current behavior, and become inviolable rules. Otherwise, it jeopardizes our future progress. As is pointed out by the speaker, so much is changing rapidly today, and relations of emerging new things are complex. One method proved effective to a particular problem in the past is very likely to lose its power days after. Before twentieth century, it is regarded as undoubted fact that time and space is coherent, until with the coming of the theory of relativity, this doctrine is overthrew. This example shows that what we learn in the past is merely knowledge, never rules, and we shall take it free to challenge it and alter it, if we find it no longer fits. If not, we risk losing the impetus for progress, and falling into the trap created by our previous selves; in this case, we may never know that time slows down when we travel in high speed.

In sum, I find the speaker unfairly underestimates the importance of knowledge of the pastin giving lessons for progress and guiding us to seek the answer to the question of who we are. However, a wise attitude towards our past calls for courage to change what's fixed if necessary. Because we human beings will lose ourselves if we have no past, while we might lose our future if we see only our past.

时间限不下去啊～～
另外写的时候思路有点乱，不知道past包不包括个人的经历,大家帮忙看看有没有跑题～～

[ 本帖最后由 cipherhuang 于 2008-12-5 14:21 编辑 ]

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flourish
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沙发

发表于 2008-12-5 21:03:21 |只看该作者

In this era of information, newly emerge(emerging) technologies, knowledge, and concepts fill every pore of our life. We are facing an everyday-new world, handling complex and overloaded information nearly exhaustively. However, does this provide us with an excuse to ignore our past? Or a reason to contend that its guidance no longer fits? I find it not, for nearly all our present knowledge, our moral lessons, and our ability to foresee the future springs from our past experience, and so will it in the future. And more importantly, we need to identify ourselves by what we have gone through before. (开头很自然地引出论点，学习~~)Knowledge from the past is one of the most important, if not the only, means by which we get to understand the world around us, and walk our way forward. After all, if we do not count on our past for guidance, what shall we refer to, as the present is changing every second, the future remains uncertain? Sophistically, if we did not turn to books recording what our predecessors discover in the past, we would be as ignorant as we were thousands of years ago. What happened in the past always provides us with instructions of arduous paths to avoid, effective measures to take, illustrated with vivid examples.(反证) Better understanding of the second World War-- what triggers it, and what painful loss we have suffered from it-- urges us to prevent the rise of any authoritarian country in the world with our utmost endeavor, prohibits nations from declaring war inadvertently.(例证1) Another example of the given lesson involves the introduction of the concept of sustainable development to developing countries, which stems from their knowledge of the heavy pollution once brought by the unhealthy pattern of development in now-developed countries.(例证2)Indeed, we shall perpetuate the value of such lecture acquired by reviewing our past, because however different a world we will face, our nature, concern, or weakness as human remain somewhat unchanged.(开头和总结都很好，中间以反证，例证进行了充分论述)

What's more, if we realized how essential the picture of our past is in understanding and identifying ourselves, we would find it actually indispensable. We may often experience moments when we suddenly feel confused about why we live in the world, who am I, where am I going to. These questions in fact pose an enduring philosophical proposition, the answer to which our meaning of life hinge upon. If we do not even know what kind of people we are, what group we belong to, what we have gone through in the past, how can we value our present being? After all, it's our past that shapes our personalities and interests, develops our abilities and virtue, and fully understands our deepest need and desire, thereby defined who we are. Abandoning our past, we are nothing but an empty being.总结得很好，只是之前的论述也许是因为太抽象了，感觉似乎缺少力度.)
(和下一段并列起来成为identification of self and nation的完整论述~~)

Such need of an individual to identify himself actually is analogous to that of a nation. Historical heritages handed from our ancestors, museums collecting belongings of the ancients, and history books recording our past all serve as evidences of the being of a nation. These days, there is a popular trend that nations establish festivals to commemorate their great history events and heroes. By recognizing the history of their homeland, people often feel a sense of belonging, and they will act more in the interest of the nation. Therefore, understanding its past, and then cultivating people's patriotism by stimulating proud in their shared history, can help to consolidate the nation.
(这两段的论述观点比较新~~学习~~lz的思想深度很佩服啊= =||)

Despite the useful advice and great benefits from our past, I insist that the function of what happened or fixed in the past should not extend over providing guidance, to dictating our current behavior, and become inviolable rules. Otherwise, it jeopardizes our future progress. As is pointed out by the speaker, so much is changing rapidly today, and relations of emerging new things are complex. One method proved effective to a particular problem in the past is very likely to lose its power days after. Before twentieth century, it is regarded as undoubted fact that time and space is coherent, until with the coming of the theory of relativity, this doctrine is overthrew. This example shows that what we learn in the past is merely knowledge, never rules, and we shall take it free to challenge it and alter it, if we find it no longer fits. If not, we risk losing the impetus for progress, and falling into the trap created by our previous selves; in this case, we may never know that time slows down when we travel in high speed.
(补充说明，使观点更理智。)

In sum, I find the speaker unfairly underestimates the importance of knowledge of the pastin giving lessons for progress and guiding us to seek the answer to the question of who we are. However, a wise attitude towards our past calls for courage to change what's fixed if necessary. Because we human beings will lose ourselves if we have no past, while we might lose our future if we see only our past. (平衡兼顾观点总结文章)

俺只能说。。俺很佩服= =
没有能提供什么有用的意见，非常惭愧~~

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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doubleshark
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板凳

发表于 2008-12-7 14:06:35 |只看该作者

In this era of information, newly emerge technologies, knowledge, and concepts fill every pore of our life.（这句话不完整啊） We are facing an everyday-new world, handling complex and overloaded information nearly exhaustively. However, does this provide us with an excuse to ignore our past? Or a reason to contend that its guidance no longer fits? I find it not, for nearly all our present knowledge, our moral lessons, and our ability to forseen the future springs from our past experience, and so will it in the future. And more importantly, we need to identify ourselves by what we have gone through before.

第一段有点长，不过写的真的很好，从一个背景中引出论点，并逐步深化。你可以试试缩短一点。

Knowledge from the past is one of the most important, if not the only（这个插入语值得学习，不过用在这有点没太大必要）, means by which we get to understand the world around us, and walk our way forward. After all, if we do not count on our past for guidance, what shall we refer to, as the present is changing every second, the future remains uncertain? Sophistically, if we did not turn to books recording what our predecessors discover in the past, we would be as ignorant as we were thousands of years ago. What happened in the past always provides us with instructions of arduous paths to avoid, effective measures to take, illustrated with vivid examples. Better understanding of the second World War-- what triggers it, and what painful loss we have suffered from it-- urges us to prevent the rise of any authoritarian country in the world with our utmost endeavor, prohibits nations from declaring war inadvertently. Another example（条例清楚） of the given lesson involves the introduction of the concept of sustainable development to developing countries, which stems from their knowledge of the heavy pollution once brought by the unhealthy pattern of development in now-developed countries. Indeed, we shall perpetuate the value of such lecture accquired by reviewing our past, because however different a world we will face, our nature, concern, or weakness as human remain somewhat unchanged.

这段论证很好啊。就是第二个例子有些说的不完整，最好再加一两句把它引到论点上。
另外这段基本上是说理加例证，可以穿插进行，说完道理举个例子，再深一步再举例子。

What's more（段间衔接也注意到了）, if we realized how essential the picture of our past is in understanding and identifying ourselves, we would find it actually indispensable. We may often experience moments when we suddenly feel confused about why we live in the world, who am I, where am I going to. These questions in fact pose an enduring philosophical proposition, the answer to which our meaning of life hinge upon. If we do not even know what kind of people we are, what group we belong to, what we have gone through in the past, how can we value our present being? After all, it's our past that shapes our personalities and interests, develops our abilities and virtue, and fully understands our deepest need and desire, thereby defined who we are. Abandoning our past, we are nothing but an empty being.

对自己的认识要依靠过去。恩，真是个不错的论点，值得学习。但是这段论证有点空，应该再具体些，说说怎么从过去认识自己，另外最好再对比一下现在在认识自身上的作用。

Such need of an individual to identify himself actually is analogous to that of a nation. Historical heritages handed from our ancestors, museums collecting belongings of the ancients, and history books recording our past all serve as evidences of the being of a nation. These days, there is a popular trend that nations establish festivals to commemorate their great history events and heroes. By recognizing the history of their homeland, people often feel a sense of belonging, and they will act more in the interest of the nation. Therefore, understanding its past, and then cultivating people's patriotism by stimulating proud in their shared history, can help to consolidate the nation.

这段有点偏题了，题目是说认识过去对现在有没有指导价值。这一段都在说了解祖国历史使人们更加爱国。可以从另一个角度说说：认识国家的过去对国家今后的发展有用。

Despite the useful advice and great benefits from our past, I insist that the function of what happened or fixed in the past should not extend over providing guidance, to dictating our current behavior, and become inviolable rules. Otherwise, it jeopardizes our future progress. As is pointed out by the speaker, so much is changing rapidly today, and relations of emerging new things are complex. One method proved effective to a particular problem in the past is very likely to lose its power days after. Before twentieth century, it is regarded as undoubted fact that time and space is coherent, until with the coming of the theory of relativity, this doctrine is overthrew. This example shows that what we learn in the past is merely knowledge, never rules, and we shall take it free to challenge it and alter it, if we find it no longer fits. If not, we risk losing the impetus for progress, and falling into the trap created by our previous selves; in this case, we may never know that time slows down when we travel in high speed这句话就别要了，效果不太好，与上文衔接不上.

说另一个方面，不能一味迷信历史。

In sum, I find the speaker unfairly underestimates the importance of knowledge of the pastin giving lessons for progress and guiding us to seek the answer to the question of who we are. However, a wise attitude towards our past calls for courage to change what's fixed if necessary. Because we human beings will lose ourselves if we have no past, while we might lose our future if we see only our past.

总结的很好，尤其是最后一句。

总的来说是非常好的文章。我水平有限，提不出什么太好的建议。就是那段跑题的应该改改。

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