[a习作temp] Argument127周ZZYaw第3次练习 [复制链接]

fantasy888
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-2-6 09:11:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ARGUMENT127 - The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.

"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."

In this argument, the arguer concludes that electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations can foster a better work ethic at Climpson and ameliorate the overall profits. Several assumptions upon which the arguer bases his conclusion are specious and thus render the argument unconvinced.

First of all, the arguer suggests to identify and punish any employee's Internet use from his workstation. However, he provides no evident to prove that employees only use the Internet for personal or recreational activities. Perhaps, some employees use the Internet for their work business, such as ordering equipments for the company's produce or contacting clients for sales of the company's commodities. Since the arguer fails to rule out the possibility cited above, the implementation electronic monitoring may cause employees working hard to be punished then make the aruger's suggestion unfair.

Secondly, the arguer fails to take into account other possible means for employees to do their private businesses or recreations. For example, aside from using the workstations, employees may use the Internet with their mobile phones which have the function of wireless access network. Or perhaps beside shopping or playing games online, employees play one-player game on their terminal PC off-line or just chat with each others. Unless the arguer can prove that the Internet use from the workstations is the only way for employee to wast the work hours, the effect of installing detective software is unwarranted.

Finally, even if the application of electronic monitoring can really eliminate employees' personal or recreational activities, the arguer's conclusion that it can foster a better work ethic and improve overall profits is still unfounded. Perhaps without electronic monitoring employees can take a short-term rest during long-term work and work more efficiently later or even work overtime. If it is ture, electronic monitoring could not promote but depress employees' efficiency and harm the company's benefit.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive. To strengthen his conclusion, the arguer should provides further evidents to prove that electronic monitoring can actually urge employees work harder and more efficiently. In order to better access this argument, I need more detailed information about the situation of work ethic at Climpsiom at present.

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firework小可
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沙发

发表于 2009-2-6 10:48:18 |只看该作者

In this argument, the arguer concludes that electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations can foster a better work ethic at Climpson and ameliorate the overall profits. Several assumptions upon which the arguer bases his conclusion are specious and thus render the argument unconvinced.

First of all, the arguer suggests to identify and punish any employee's Internet use from his workstation. However, he provides no evident to prove that employees only use the Internet for personal or recreational activities. Perhaps, some employees use the Internet for their work business, such as ordering equipments for the company's produce or contacting clients for sales of the company's commodities. Since the arguer fails to rule out the possibility cited above, the implementation electronic monitoring may cause employees working hard to be punished then make the aruger's suggestion unfair.

Secondly, the arguer fails to take into account other possible means for employees to do their private businesses or recreations. For example, aside from using the workstations, employees may use the Internet with their mobile phones which have the function of wireless access network. Or perhaps beside shopping or playing games online, employees play one-player game on their terminal PC off-line or just chat with each others. Unless the arguer can prove that the Internet use from the workstations is the only way for employee to wast the work hours, the effect of installing detective software is unwarranted.

Finally, even if the application of electronic monitoring can really eliminate employees' personal or recreational activities, the arguer's conclusion that it can foster a better work ethic and improve overall profits is still unfounded. Perhaps without electronic monitoring employees can take a short-term rest during long-term work and work more efficiently later or even work overtime. If it is ture, electronic monitoring could not promote but depress employees' efficiency and harm the company's benefit.
这个攻击的第一句很清楚，可是感觉后面的例子不太对的上，我感觉应该是从“很多因素会影响公司利润”这个方面去讲。

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive. To strengthen his conclusion, the arguer should provides further evidents to prove that electronic monitoring can actually urge employees work harder and more efficiently. (前一句和后一句的逻辑有点乱，是先了解别人的工作氛围是不是不佳然后再看用了这个程序有没有改善的吧？我个人觉得哦~~可以换一下)In order to better access this argument, I need more detailed information about the situation of work ethic at Climpsiom at present.

还是写的很不错啊~~~貌似没看到大家有用模板嘛~~~

求大家回拍啊~~呵呵~~~~

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Rainbow12
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板凳

发表于 2009-2-7 20:53:26 |只看该作者

2# firework小可

能否帮我看一下我这篇? 衷心感谢

In this argument, the arguer recommends that we should install software which can detect employees' Internet use on company computers. To support his recommendation, he claims that this policy can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic and improves our overall profits. However, in the very first glance, the arguer's claim seems to be plausible, but after a clearly thinking, it lies in several fallacies and logical flaws discussed below.

To begin with, the arguer's precondition which can prevent employees from wasting time on the Internet may not be guaranteed. Of course the employees in this company will waste littler time on the Internet, but we can not ensure that these employees will take this time to work. For example, the employees will not buy something on the Internet after this software installation, but they will buy something in the market by this work time. So the employees will also reduce their productivity if this thing happened.

Even if I were to concede that it is the fact that this thing will not happened in this company, the arguer's claim is also suspect. The arguer did not offer us any evidence about how the employees productivity. So perhaps their productivity is very high now. They do not must to install the software. In addition, the arguer also does not offer us the data about different productivity between before and after install the software. If the different is so small that we can not care about it, we have no necessary to install the electronic monitor.

At last but not least, the arguer's conclusion is too hasty. His goal is to improve our overall profits. But there is no relationship between improving the profits and implementing electronic monitoring. The profit, in fact, not only depends on the efficiency of employees, but also relies on many aspects such as reduction of cost, sale of productions, strategy of leader etc. Furthermore, implementing this system is also a spending. It is entirely possible that install this electronic monitor will take a lot of money and we have to put some staff to manage the software. These will take a lot of money and betray the arguer's goal. Moreover, maybe the software will reduce the employees' computer speed. It will lead to reduce productivity.

To sum up, as it stands, the argument lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer needs to provide us specific information about this software and more data about the employees' productivity.

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