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[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 ilovesherry第五次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-18 18:20:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
agree or disagree? technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated.




When the topic of weather technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated or not comes to people, there is no consensus among. No one can denied that the significance of technology to our lives. While some people assume that it is the development of science and technology that leads to an easier acquirement of knowledge, some others argue that technology really complicate our daily studying, working and lives. Still a group of people who stand by neither side above, which I approve, think that both assertions given out are one-sided.

As a saying goes, every sword has two sides. Neither sides of the sword are useless. Linked with the topic above, technology create a world with simpler lives, meanwhile, it also create a more complicated world we never had before.

Actually ,advance of digital, cyber and internet technology make our lives easier, for example, with the assessment of internet technology development, we can obtain all sorts of knowledge at home without going out for a research by ourselves, include international news reports, books we like and other information of each subjects we need. Internet has a positive impact on acquiring knowledge conveniently and this leads to a result that our world is becoming a village without any impossible on communicating. Like my friend Wang who is studying in German, of course we cannot communicate with each other if we were in ancient world but we can have a enjoyable conversation even face to face nowadays through the Internet and what's more, this kind of talking has no need to ride a horse and spend on thousands of month to find the person whom you want to talk to, just like our ancestors had done. Technology can save time, money, space, energy for us as the rule we create it.

However, students today often complain that their burdens are too heavy to carry. It seems like there are millions kinds of knowledge they have to obtain. Working people have to study new skills if they want to do better in their career. The world has become a complicated one which gives mankind a great challenge to be alive because of technology development. Yet it does not just bring us those challenges, thanks for technology entering to our lives, we acquire numbers of entertainments and recreations to do at leisure times. Everyone can choose out his/her favorite action to do in his/her spare time. For instance, my boyfriends always play computer games or watch basketball games of their favorite teams on television while we girls shopping online or watch movies.

To sum up, technologies truly change our lives, it turns our lives easier and more convenient, not simpler, and it also turns our lives more abundant, not complicated.

[430]


写着写着感觉很跑题……记得老师说TWE最好不持中间观点,可是这个题是在找不到能把自己说服的一方观点,于是,呵呵~
无不可过去之事,有自然相知之人~
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沙发
发表于 2009-2-19 21:47:05 |只看该作者
When the topic of weather technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated or not comes to people, there is no consensus among(基本语法错误,造成没读懂). No one can denied that the significance of technology to our lives. While some people assume that it is the development of science and technology that leads to an easier acquirement of knowledge, some others argue that technology really complicate(s) our daily studying, working and lives. Still a group of people who stand by neither side above, which I approve, think that both assertions given out are one-sided.4 ]. G% r1 _6 E) p& Q$ Y

As a saying goes, every sword has two sides. Neither sides of the sword are useless. Linked with the topic above, technology create a world with simpler lives, meanwhile, it also create a more complicated world we never had before.3 F&
/ S! _+ k. Y% Q, U. r4 j(上面这段似乎没有存在必要)

Actually ,advance of(in) digital, cyber and internet technology make(s) our lives easier, for example, with the assessment of internet technology development, we can obtain all sorts of knowledge at home without going out for a research by ourselves, include international news reports, books we like and other information of each subjects we need.(这句基本语法有错误的) Internet has a positive impact on acquiring knowledge conveniently and this leads to a result that our world is becoming a village without any impossible on communicating.(impact是ON 人的。。。所以这句还是有语法错误) Like(for example) my friend Wang who is studying in German, of course we cannot communicate with each other if we were in ancient world but we can have a enjoyable conversation even face to face nowadays through the Internet and what's more, this kind of talking has no need to ride a horse and spend on thousands of month to find the person whom you want to talk to, just like our ancestors had done. Technology can save time, money, space, energy for us as the rule we create it.

However, students today often complain that their burdens are too heavy to carry. It seems like there are millions kinds of knowledge they have to obtain. Working people have to study new skills if they want to do better in their career. The world has become a complicated one which gives mankind a great challenge to be alive because of technology development. Yet it does not just bring us those challenges, thanks for technology entering to our lives, we acquire numbers of entertainments and recreations to do at leisure times. Everyone can choose out his/her favorite action to do in his/her spare time. For instance, my boyfriends always play computer games or watch basketball games of their favorite teams on television while we girls shopping online or watch movies. / Q' F5 `2 \6 l1 j9 h4 K  p: N% B* o% X
(上面一段如果是要说明科技进步造成不好的方面就要一直往这个方向说,怎么说一半就转了,造成结构比较乱)

To sum up, technologies truly change our lives, it(they) turns our lives easier and more convenient, not simpler, and it also turns our lives more abundant, not complicated.:
独自等待.默默忍受.

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板凳
发表于 2009-2-19 23:22:46 |只看该作者
When the topic of weatherwhether technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated or not comes to people, there is no consensus among(people). No one can denied that the significance of technology to our lives. While some people assume that it is the development of science and technology that leads to an easier acquirement of knowledge, some others argue that technology really complicate our daily studying, working and lives. Still a group of people who stand by neither side above, which I approve, think that both assertions given out are one-sided.
As a saying goes, every sword has two sides. Neither sides of the sword are useless. Linked with the topic above, technology create a world with simpler lives, meanwhile, it also create a more complicated world we never had before."

Actually ,advance of digital, cyber and internet technology make our lives easier, for example, with the assessment of internet technology development, we can obtain all sorts of knowledge at home without going out for a research by ourselves, include(including) international news reports, books we like and other information of each subjects we need. Internet has a positive impact on (people) acquiring knowledge conveniently and this leads to a result that our world is becoming a village without any impossible on communicating. Like my friend Wang who is studying in German, of course we cannot communicate with each other if we were in ancient world(ancient times .ancient world 查了一下觉得不是太对) but we can have aan enjoyable conversation even face to face nowadays through the Internet and what's more, this kind of talking has no need to ride a horse and spend on thousands of month to find(spend thousands of months on finding) the person whom you want to talk to, just like our ancestors had done. Technology can save time, money, space, energy for us as the rule we create it.


However, students today often complain that their burdens are too heavy to carry. It seems like there are millions kinds of knowledge they have to obtain. Working people have to study new skills if they want to do better in their career. The world has become a complicated one which gives mankind a great challenge to be alive because of technology development. Yet it does not just bring us those challenges, thanks for technology entering to our lives, we acquire numbers of entertainments and recreations to do at leisure times. Everyone can choose out his/her favorite action to do in his/her spare time. For instance, my boyfriends(
呵呵,笔误吧) always play playscomputer games or watch(watches) basketball games of their favorite teams on television while we girls (go)shopping online or watch movies. "


To sum up, technologies truly change our lives, it turns our lives easier and more convenient, not simpler, and it also turns our lives more abundant, not complicated.

几点建议:
1.词汇在句子中的运用及句子的表达应该再多琢磨琢磨。有些句子过长,感觉上比较别扭,呵呵。。。
2.论点在分段中没有鲜明的点出来,感觉每段首句有个较为清晰的说明会更好一些。
3.第二段感觉要用的话,放在说明更简捷及更复杂的中间作为过渡几句,效果会更好:说明tech有两面,既更简捷又更复杂。所以。。更复杂(分论点提出)+具体事例。个人意见,sherry 听听即可。
4.另外,开头有点长。。。。
一起加油哈~~:loveliness: 有啥问题咱再讨论。。。
没有翅膀,我们依旧可以飞上天空

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地板
发表于 2009-2-22 17:19:03 |只看该作者
谢谢娃娃~呵呵~
无不可过去之事,有自然相知之人~

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RE: 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 ilovesherry第五次作业】 [修改]
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