[i习作temp] issue130【0906背水一战三月小组】第五次作业 by yuxin [复制链接]

周禹馨
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-3-9 22:53:15 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目：ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
字数：645
用时：00:45:00
日期：3/9/2009 12:43:29 PM
论述社会化的定义，孩子的社会化在很大程度上影响社会的发展
对于孩子的社会化教育，还有很大的不足
但建设一个更好的社会还受别的因素的影响

In the statement, the speaker claims that the destiny of society was determined by the extent of children being socialized. In a sense, I agree with his assertion and in agreement that we have not learned how to raise children to build a better society, however, the destiny of society cannot be determined only by this, some other factors, in my opinion is also important.

To begin with, turning to the definition of socialization we may find that it to much extent influences the development of a society. Socialization is a process of people learning to adopt other people behavior, and try to adapt to the whole environment. In other words, that being socialized indicates that children will learn to keep his behavior compatible with others. It is universally acknowledged that a compatible behavior among all the persons can bring a harmonious and stable society. The appropriate behavior calls for at least learning to work and study and live with others together, in a genteel, respectful, and considerate way. Moreover, as for children, they are the mainstream forces of a future society. Their behavior will play an undeniable role in the progress of the society. If they are always quarreling, or fighting with the people around, it is hard for the society to be a better one. They need to learn some basic skills to make themselves to adapt to the progress. And thus, they need to learn how to cooperate with the others which can be achieved through socialization.

Furthermore, the responsibility of socializing children should be taken by the family, the school, and the whole society, unfortunately, they haven't done a very excellent job. In order to bring about a better society, the children should keep in mind of keeping contact with others in a compatible manner. However, the reality is not so desirable as people expected.
At the family level, the main goal need to focus on the socialization of these children, but some of them inclines to take a special method, homeschool, to educate children. It may be effective since the parents will try their best to give the teenagers most suitable courses, yet those children lose the opportunities to contact other people, except for the parents and home teachers. As a result, they
seldom aware the importance of cooperation, which is rudimental in the society. And thus, homeschool is a good place for learning knowledge but would never be a suitable place for growing. Also, at the school level, some schools still focusing on the grades even regardless of the cultivation of socialization, such as how to cooperate with people, how to consider for others, etc, all would be helpful for these children in making contribution to a better society. And, at the society level, people there ignore the socialization of children as well, for they concentrate much on funding for the academic researches or construction of libraries, instead of give children chances to be involved in it to learn social skills by themselves.

Besides, the quality and destiny of society can be affected by other important factors, not the mere respect----- socialization. For example, the improvement of the laws, which also help to result in a harmonious and stable society. At the same time, supporting the scientific researches, those aim at improving the efficiency and quality of live, such as the medical progress. For instance, no one will deny the basic fact that when penicillin was available for most people, they begin to live a longer and healthier life. Nor would one refute that the prominent changes on people is a reflection of a better society than the previous one. All in all, there are abundant significant improvement can serve to guarantee the process of children making a better society.

In summary, how children are socialized largely determines the destiny of society, but there still other aspects influencing the development of a society. In order to realize the ultimate ambition, families, schools, and the society all need to spare every effort to take measures to help socialize children.

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yunfeiyang4ever
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沙发

发表于 2009-3-10 12:33:31 |只看该作者

【原文】
In the statement, the speaker claims that the destiny of society was determined by the extent of children being socialized. In a sense, I agree with his assertion and in agreement that we have not learned how to raise children to build a better society, however, the destiny of society cannot be determined only by this, some other factors, in my opinion is also important.(观点明确，表达清楚)

To begin with, turning to the definition of socialization we may find that it to(too替换) much extent influences the development of a society. Socialization is a process of people learning to adopt other people behavior, and try to adapt to the whole environment. In other words, that being socialized indicates that children will learn to keep his behavior compatible with others. It is universally acknowledged that a compatible behavior among all the persons can bring a harmonious and stable society. The appropriate behavior calls for at least learning to work and study and live with others together, in a genteel, respectful, and considerate way. Moreover, as for children, they are the mainstream forces of a future society. Their behavior will play an undeniable role in the progress of the society. If they are always quarreling, or fighting with the people around, it is hard for the society to be a better one. They need to learn some basic skills to make themselves to adapt to the progress. And thus, they need to learn how to cooperate with the others which can be achieved through socialization.(论证的挺好)

Furthermore, the responsibility of socializing children should be taken by the family, the school, and(whole society其实已经包括了family and school，用even比较好) the whole society,(;) unfortunately, they haven't done a very excellent job. In order to bring about a better society, the children should keep in mind of keeping contact with others in a compatible manner. However, the reality is not so desirable as people expected. At the family level, the main goal need to focus on the socialization of these children, but some of them inclines to take a special method, homeschool(动词，语法错误), to educate children. It may be effective since the parents will try their best to give the teenagers most suitable courses, yet those children lose the opportunities to contact other people, except for the parents and home teachers. As a result, they seldom aware the importance of cooperation, which is rudimental in the society. And thus, homeschool(动词，语法错误) is a good place for learning knowledge but would never be a suitable place for growing. Also, at the school level, some schools still focusing on the grades even regardless of the cultivation of socialization, such as how to cooperate with people, how to consider for others, etc, all would be helpful for these children in making contribution to a better society. And, at the society level, people there ignore the socialization of children as well, for they concentrate much on funding for the academic researches or construction of libraries, instead of give children chances to be involved in it to learn social skills by themselves.(society level论述的有些简单)

Besides, the quality and destiny of society can be affected by other important factors, not the mere respect --- socialization. For example, the improvement of the laws, which also help to result in a harmonious and stable society.(有语法错误，只有从句没主句：Consummating the law and mechanism, for example, also could construct harmonious and stable society.) At the same time, supporting the scientific researches, those aim at improving the efficiency and quality of live, such as the medical progress. For instance, no one will deny the basic fact that when penicillin was available for most people, and then they begin to live a longer and healthier life. Nor would one refute that the prominent changes on people is a reflection of a better society than the previous one. All in all, there are abundant significant improvement can serve to guarantee the process of children making a better society.

In summary, how children are socialized largely determines the destiny of society, but there still other aspects influencing the development of a society. In order to realize the ultimate ambition, families, schools, and the society all need to spare every effort to take measures to help socialize children.

总体来说，论述清晰而且全面，稍微注意一些语法错误即可

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