[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组chelseajcole的第13次作业】 [复制链接]

chelseajcole
UID: 2589519

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 6
寄托币: 963
注册时间: 2009-1-9
精华: 0
帖子: 9

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-3-18 20:56:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is an interseting phenomenon in our city recently that a great many of people do not back home immediately after they get out of duty.When be asked why they still stay in office,the answer is always unanimous and funny for they just do not willing to waste time on the road.The traffic problem is obviously significant in every metropolises.Many engineers and economists try to develop mathematical model to resolve the problem,but,charging the fee from drivers when then drive on the city streets during the rush hour is one of the most effecetive methods to deal with the traffic jam.

The price is the lever in the market which still work in traffic system.If drivers should pay the fee where they drive,they definitely reduce the frequency to drive the area which take money.Since that,less car on the road in the city could accelerate other vehicles velocity .The sparse avenue also decline the rate of accidents.Statistic published by Department of Transportation indicate that the relationship between the amounts of cars and ratio of accidents is direct proportion,which means the more vehicles on the road,the more risk of car accidents occurred.Thus,charging the fee from drivers would not only relieve the traffic jam but also lower accidents.

Futhermore,if the money taken by drivers for rush hours,the extra income could be utilized by government to build more streets and to the maintainence of roads.As we always read the complaint saying on the newspaper that government announced they have plunged into a large sum of money on the road development and improvement every year,but the results are always not achieved the desirabilities of citizen,using the extra money from rush-hour fee is a concrete action to support our government work and it may alter this awful condition.

Above all,charging the fee also remind people do not drive car all the time.Actually,public transportation system is powerful and complete for there are 11 subway Lines and hundreds of bus stations in my city.Taking bus or subway to go to work and back home probably more environmental protection and human being may relieve from the oil crisis or global warming.Obviously,carrying out the strategy of charging money for rush hours would absolutely contribute to our environment.

All in all,I totally agree with the opinion of drivers pay a fee during the most rush time in a day because it will benefit the public transportation system as well as protect environment.All these may create a more relaxing and safety life in city.

回应
0

使用道具举报

babff
UID: 2539532

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 254
注册时间: 2008-8-31
精华: 0
帖子: 1

沙发

发表于 2009-3-21 13:46:34 |只看该作者

There is an interseting phenomenon in our city recently that a great many of people do not back home immediately after they get out of duty.When be asked why they still stay in office,the answer is always unanimous and funny for they just do not willing(want) to waste time on the road.The traffic problem is obviously significant in every metropolises.Many engineers and economists try to develop mathematical model to resolve the problem,but,(这里应该不是转折而是递进吧and)charging the fee from drivers when then( they)drive on the city streets during the rush hour is one of the most effecetive methods to deal with the traffic jam.(童鞋的词汇量很大，这是你的优势，开头用了一个实例引出论点很好)
1 `9 _6 D! Y. n% p( e: j
（前面最好有个FIRSTLY）The price is the lever in the market which still works in(the) traffic system.If drivers should pay the fee where they drive,they definitely reduce the frequency to drive the area which take money.Since that,less car on the road in the city could accelerate other vehicles velocity .The sparse avenue also decline the rate of accidents.Statistic published by Department of Transportation indicate that the relationship between the amounts of cars and ratio of accidents is direct proportion,which means the more vehicles on the road,the more risk of car accidents occurred.Thus,charging the fee from drivers would not only relieve the traffic jam but also lower accidents(这句话应该放在第一句作为主题句会更好，你可能还是中式思维，而老外肯定更愿意先看到你这句话在看你的说明和例证).# B) a3 \( N9 I0 p" G7 f) O* o* I+ n
4 }5 e% ~7 V/ f, \& k
Futhermore,if the money taken by(from) drivers for rush hours,the extra income could be utilized by government to build more streets and to the maintainence of roads.As we always read the complaint saying on the newspaper that government announced they have plunged into a large sum of money on the road development and improvement every year,but the results are always not achieved the desirabilities of citizen,using the extra money from rush-hour fee is a concrete action to support our government work and it may alter this awful condition.
w ~$ g' L8 y# R* c. E
Above all,charging the fee also remind people do not drive car all the time.Actually,public transportation system is powerful and complete for there are 11 subway Lines and hundreds of bus stations in my city.（这句话写的好）Taking bus or subway to go to work and back home probably more environmental protection and human beings may relieve from the oil crisis or global warming.Obviously,carrying out the strategy of charging money for rush hours would absolutely contribute to our environment(这段写的好，观点明确，例证说明都很到位，值得学习).

All in all,I totally agree with the opinion of drivers pay a fee during the most rush time in a day because it will benefit the public transportation system as well as protect environment.All these may create a more relaxing and safety life in city.

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

使用道具举报

网兜妮妮
UID: 2612538

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 8
寄托币: 1213
注册时间: 2009-3-7
精华: 0
帖子: 9

板凳

发表于 2009-3-21 16:11:55 |只看该作者

There is an interseting phenomenon in our city recently that a great many of people do not back home immediately after they get out of duty.When be asked why they still stay in office,the answer is always unanimous and funny for they just do not willing (want)to waste time on the road.The traffic problem is obviously significant in every metropolises.Many engineers and economists try to develop mathematical model to resolve the problem,but,charging the fee from drivers when then drive on the city streets during the rush hour is one of the most effecetive methods to deal with the traffic jam.(这句论点的引出感觉很客观，貌似美国人都挺喜欢这样比较中立客观的语气的，嗯，学习了）
n7 U" b; E/ [# Z0 N/ k

The price is the lever in the market which still work in traffic system.If drivers should pay the fee where they drive,they definitely reduce the frequency to drive the area which take money.Since that,less car on the road in the city could accelerate other vehicles velocity .The sparse avenue also decline the rate of accidents.Statistic published by Department of Transportation indicate that the relationship between the amounts of cars and ratio of accidents is direct proportion,which means the more vehicles on the road,the more risk of car accidents occurred.Thus,charging the fee from drivers would not only relieve the traffic jam but also lower accidents（感觉本段的论点不是很清楚，是要说经济调节的手段可以解决这个问题，并且额外的好处是减少交通事故的发生量吗？论证好像不太充分,建议可以在句与句之间增加逻辑连接词).. j（! I4 A$ o& ]3 s; a" X. X

Futhermore,if the money taken by（from吧） drivers for rush hours,the extra income could be utilized by government to build more streets and to the maintainence of roads.As we always read the complaint saying on the newspaper that government announced they have plunged into a large sum of money on the road development and improvement every year,but the results are always not achieved the desirabilities of citizen,using the extra money from rush-hour fee is a concrete action to support our government work and it may alter this awful condition（本段的论证觉得缺乏实例，没有说服力，政府说他们缺钱公民就应该交extra fee来给政府吗？）., R& H3 x8 B4 C w: Y! `

Above all,charging the fee also remind people do not drive car all the time.Actually,public transportation system is powerful and complete for there are 11 subway Lines and hundreds of bus stations in my city.Taking bus or subway to go to work and back home probably more environmental protection and human being may relieve from the oil crisis or global warming.Obviously,carrying out the strategy of charging money for rush hours would absolutely contribute to our environment（这一段的论证很好，观点有说服力，并且句子之间的连接也很有逻辑，举例具体。楼主组织语言的能力挺强的，在这段可以看出来，向楼主学习）.& S4 k, P" [1 V4 n2 B
9 n, ~/ b3 v* `

All in all,I totally agree with the opinion of drivers pay a fee during the most rush time in a day because it will benefit the public transportation system as well as protect environment.All these may create a more relaxing and safety life in city.

使用道具举报