= dies in flames = issue 190 刚刚好 [复制链接]

刚刚好
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-5-25 21:17:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

The speaker states that we should not put much money on the arts for the reason that numerous people, who need for money more urgently, are incapable to reach the least living standard, some even to starve. I concede that, only accepted by a minority of people, some extremely luxurious arts exist and cost countless money at modern time. However, we should not attribute all the matters to the arts, which bring substantial spiritual world to us.

At the very beginning, the existence of any sort of arts is not the derivation of hungry and destitution, so it is ridiculous to abnegate artistic wealth to suffice the expenditure of the later. Casting back, endless warfare is actually the hand of the Evil. For example, after the Second World War, a myriad of refugees forever lost their snug houses, lost their loving relatives and lost their peaceful lives at the motherland that they familiarize with and deeply love. How can we impute that to the innocent arts? What is shameful is that our governments invest countless financing every year on the productions of weapons. And on the excuse of safeguarding each own country, numerous arsenals keep working day after night at every quarter of the world, so there is no doubt that not the arts but the warfare is actually the most seriously potential menace to mankind.

Furthermore, our lives cannot take away from art. Not just the sensible enlightenment in spirit, but also the headspring for inspiration the arts bring us. From the great piano sonata of the Ninth Symphony created by Beethoven to the European street surrounded with Gothic architecture, it seems to me that these treasures of arts are just like the luminous stars shining in the night sky. Indeed, we absorb the dew of culture at every pore. Try to imagine this, if there is no support by governments to establish numerous theatres all around the world, where can we go to listen to those great melodies? In addition, what a pity if no administrators truly care about those dilapidated architecture of Gothic style after merciless war, leaving them swaying in the wind and rain without any proper repair. Therefore, it is crucial and necessary for government to invest and protect the inheritance and development of art.

Indeed, a vast array of thorny problems have not been solved over the past few hundred years ago, especially the modern times. When it charged some troubles such as unemployment, hungry and poverty, people always eagerly hope government rush forward several effective solutions to lead us overcome those hard time. However, the reality turns out that the fact will not be all moonlight and roses. Most people share a belief that if the basic social security cannot be reached, even considered as a sort of expect, it is ridiculous to pursuit the higher spiritual target. But if until all the people at every quarter of world get rid off starving, the seed of art can not sprout on earth forever. In other words, poverty will go with us for long.

In sum, we should not take out the public resources from the arts to fulfill any other requirements, because as the aliment and decoration of human spirit, the arts are also needed to survive and develop.

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jessicalulu
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沙发

发表于 2009-5-26 16:35:55 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 jessicalulu 于 2009-5-26 16:37 编辑

issue190 "As long as people in a society are hungry or out of work or lack the basic skills needed to survive, the use of public resources to support the arts is inappropriate—and, perhaps, even cruel—when one considers all the potential uses of such money."

The speaker states that we should not put much money on the arts for the reason that numerous people, who need for money more urgently, are incapable to reach the least living standard, some even to starve. （这部分改写蛮好的）I concede that, only accepted by a minority of people, some extremely luxurious arts exist and cost countless money at modern time
（times）. However, we should not attribute all the matters to the arts, which bring substantial spiritual world to us.

At the very beginning, the existence of any sort of arts is not the derivation of hungry and destitution, so it is ridiculous to abnegate artistic wealth to suffice the expenditure of the later. （观点）Casting back, endless warfare is actually the hand of the Evil. For example, after the Second World War, a myriad of refugees forever lost their snug houses, lost their loving relatives and lost their peaceful lives at the motherland that they familiarize with and deeply love. How can we impute that to the innocent arts? What is shameful is that our governments invest countless financing every year on the productions of weapons. And on the excuse of safeguarding each own country, numerous arsenals keep working day after night at every quarter of the world, so there is no doubt that not the arts but the warfare is actually the most seriously potential menace to mankind.（我总觉得这段的论证不够强。你的TS说，因为艺术不是导致这些社会问题的原因，所以我们不应该砍掉给艺术的资源投入。你举二战的例子，说明其实是战争导致的人民生活困苦。但是，无论是啥玩意导致的这些社会问题，总之，人民的生活困苦着，那么，合理利用资源，投入资源给艺术这种非实际性的东西我就可以认为是不合适的。你还是没有说服我）

Furthermore, our lives cannot take away from art. Not just the sensible enlightenment in spirit, but also the headspring for inspiration the arts bring us. （写得很好，学习~）From the great piano sonata of the Ninth Symphony created by Beethoven to the European street surrounded with Gothic architecture, it seems to me that these treasures of arts are just like the luminous stars shining in the night sky. Indeed, we absorb the dew of culture at every pore. Try to imagine this, if there is no support by governments to establish numerous theatres all around the world, where can we go to listen to those great melodies? In addition, what a pity if no administrators truly care about those dilapidated architecture of Gothic style after merciless war, leaving them swaying in the wind and rain without any proper repair. Therefore, it is crucial and necessary for government to invest and protect the inheritance and development of art. 这段文字其实写得很棒的，但我觉得放在这里论证不甚合适。你告诉我们，艺术很重要，保护和发展艺术很重要，但是，相较于人民的困苦生活，这些urgent social problems，艺术为什么该获得资金呢？我始终觉得，这个是本文需要把握的重点。就好比你的那句我用橙色勾出的句子写得很棒的，如果可以深入下去，写一下，艺术对于鼓舞人心，形成良好社会风气，良性循环的作用的话，那么这段会很出色的。

Indeed, a vast array of thorny problems have not been solved over the past few hundred years ago, especially the modern times. When it charged some troubles such as unemployment, hungry and poverty, people always eagerly hope government rush forward several effective solutions to lead us overcome those hard time. However, the reality turns out that the fact will not be all moonlight and roses. Most people share a belief that if the basic social security cannot be reached, even considered as a sort of expect, it is ridiculous to pursuit the higher spiritual target. But if until all the people at every quarter of world get rid off starving, the seed of art can not sprout on earth forever（为什么这样说呢？感觉前面的论证没有这层意思）. In other words, poverty will go with us for long. 这段能不能这样写，所有的贫穷、饥饿都消除，这基本上是不可能达到的，只是一个理想世界能奢望的，我们不可能为了达到这种理想状态而忽略其他方面的投资，尤其像艺术这种具有多种社会功能的事情。

In sum, we should not take out the public resources from the arts to fulfill any other requirements, because as the aliment and decoration of human spirit, the arts are also needed to survive and develop.

语言很好的了，比我流畅且丰富很多，大大得学习了。至于思路，我提出了一些看法，都在文中，你看看我们在BS下？呵呵~

有doraemon在，就什么都不怕～～

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ddcmj519
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板凳

发表于 2009-5-26 21:37:29 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 ddcmj519 于 2009-5-28 16:05 编辑

【cmj偏激状态，评的不好，见谅】：）

The speaker states that we should not put much money on the arts for the reason that numerous people, who need for money more urgently, are incapable to reach the least living standard, some even to starve. I concede that, only accepted by a minority of people, some extremely luxurious arts exist and cost countless money at modern time. However, we should not attribute all the matters to the arts, which bring substantial spiritual world to us.
大家都喜欢开始就重复一下题目呢。但是是否一定必要呢？窃以为，只有最后一句话稍微有些实际意义。前面的要陈述背景的话，建议改短。

FROM the very beginning, the existence of any sort of arts is not the derivation of hungry and destitution, so it is ridiculous to abnegate artistic wealth to suffice the expenditure of the later. Casting back, endless warfare is actually the hand of the Evil. For example, after the Second World War, a myriad of refugees forever lost their snug houses, lost their loving relatives and lost their peaceful lives at the motherland that they familiarize with and deeply love. How can we impute that to the innocent arts? What is shameful is that our governments invest countless financing every year on the productions of weapons. And on the excuse of safeguarding each own country, numerous arsenals keep working day after night at every quarter of the world, so there is no doubt that not the arts but the warfare is actually the most seriously potential menace to mankind.
额。跟我一样。语言跳跃性很大。。第一句讲了art跟饥饿没关系（其实我不同意，caveman吃不饱的时候还不是照样在墙上画画的。art于人而言就是一种精神寄托，在何种状态下都可能发生。），然后就推到不发展art是不对的？？这个。。没啥逻辑。。第二句，你之前的beginning到现在，然后又dating back，这个时间的跨度。。那个for example加的不是很自然，去掉都可以。后面，impute，之前就已经说过跟art没关系了。又重复一次。我其实期待一个不是art而是什么的答案，可惜没有。。再到后面这句政府花钱在weapons上，这个，首先希望作者搞清楚政府是干什么的，为什么投资weapons，这里面有个先后顺序的，weapons是国家安危，art是精神支柱。如果不要安危而去精神极乐，我想这政府早被推翻了吧。所以导致整个段落看上去就有点站不住脚。。

Furthermore, our lives cannot take away from art. Not just the sensible enlightenment in spirit, but also the headspring for inspiration the arts bring us. From the great piano sonata of the Ninth Symphony created by Beethoven to the European street surrounded with Gothic architecture, it seems to me that these treasures of arts are just like the luminous stars shining in the night sky. Indeed, we absorb the dew of culture at every pore. Try to imagine this, if there is no support by governments to establish numerous theatres all around the world, where can we go to listen to those great melodies? In addition, what a pity if no administrators truly care about those dilapidated architecture of Gothic style after merciless war, leaving them swaying in the wind and rain without any proper repair. Therefore, it is crucial and necessary for government to invest and protect the inheritance and development of art.
怎么说呢。。片面吧。。粗体的那个句子应该重新思考下再写。theatres不光是为了传播艺术吧。。更主要是赚钱吧。。一如《梅兰芳》那里面的戏台，他们提供的更多的是休闲场所，more of 娱乐。而且个人觉得你那个例子相当不适当。1不是政府资助起来的。 2时代文化特征不强，3 没能在行文中体现其不可缺失性。导致我尽管看了你的文字，还是觉得“也不是那么缺一不可啊？光是这样的话，如果国家危机来临，我还是会花钱去公共事业的……”

Indeed, a vast array of thorny problems have not been solved over the past few hundred years ago, especially the modern times. When it charged some troubles such as unemployment, hungry and poverty, people always eagerly hope government rush forward several effective solutions to lead us overcome those hard time. However, the reality turns out that the fact will not be all moonlight and roses. Most people share a belief that if the basic social security cannot be reached, even considered as a sort of expect, it is ridiculous to pursuit the higher spiritual target. But if until all the people at every quarter of world get rid off starving, the seed of art can not sprout on earth forever. In other words, poverty will go with us for long.
太莫名了。。看了好几遍终于看懂了。。是要说社会矛盾持续存在，所以如果一直不要art的话最后人就贫苦（精神的？）了。画线两个本应该比较关键的句子很难懂，读了好几遍也没搞清楚要说啥意思。斜体字那句是别人说，有没有实际依据？（其实第一句可以算也是这个意思。思维太跳跃了。。）这段太追求文字的华丽了，导致实际内容很脱节。内容还算有点意思，语言务实一些，表意>花哨。

In sum, we should not take out the public resources from the arts to fulfill any other requirements, because as the aliment and decoration of human spirit, the arts are also needed to survive and develop.
这个结尾。。额。短了点。感觉。。基于我长期没写这种5段式了。。就不说了。一会儿又误导你~

No more words. No more comments.

我想离开。这个浮华的世界。

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