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[i习作temp] ISSUE88 [Dancing in the Dark] 第2次作业 by subtory [复制链接]

subtory
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-6-5 10:26:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 subtory 于 2009-6-5 10:31 编辑

88."Technologies not only influencebut actually determine social customs and ethics."

1、
技术的确对习惯与伦理有很大的影响
A、
以前习惯写信，现在发邮件、打电话、发短信
B、
工作方式的改变，在家工作，远程商务，电子会议(electronic conferences)
C、
交友方式的改变，网络交友(online dating)，交友迅速而随意
2、
但技术不可能决定习惯与伦理
A、
技术只是近一两百年的事，但习惯与伦理是数百年上千年由各种因素慢慢演变形成的，如地理与宗教。
B、
技术水平相同的国家完全可能有不一样的习惯与伦理，比如英国与日本比较。
C、
技术主要是从外部改变我们的生活（物质层面），一些内在的东西是不变的。比如不管从哪种方式交友，都是出于对友谊或爱情的渴望。
3、技术是由人类掌握的，习惯与伦理在一定程度上会决定技术发展的方向，所以不用担心技术的发展会将人类社会带向坏的方向。

比如克隆技术(cloning)，核技术

Pervasiveness of technologies in the world has been continuously reshaping every aspect of the society especially in the recent one hundred years. At the same time, philosophical debates over the impact of technologies have arisen. Some people worry that technologies will totally change our society and we will lose our original customs and ethics. I concede that technologies have large influence on social customs and ethics, but technologies, however advanced they are, can hardly determine customs and ethics. There are various complex factors that determine social customs and ethics.

Admittedly, technologies have been developing so rapidly since the Industrial Revolution that they have significant impacts on every aspect of our society including customs and ethics. Accordingly, life styles all around the world have been changing dramatically. People used to write letters to friends and relatives to keep in touch with each other, but now, phone calls and email are much more convenient and have become the first choice. The way people work has been changed as well.Thanks to the development of the computer and the Internet, more and more people can do their jobs without going out. And with the help of electronic conferences people at different places do not have to get together to held a meeting. What’s more, online dating has been extremely popular, which cannot be imagined several years ago. Making friends online is very efficient but sometimes hasty as some people complain. All of these phenomena seem to be brought about by technologies.

However, social customs and ethics cannot be totally determined by technologies. It has been less than two hundred years since the Industrial Revolution, while social customs and ethics are formed through a long history of hundreds even thousands of years shaped by many factors such as geography and religion. There are many countries in the present world whose technical levels have minor differences, but whose social customs and ethics are totally different, such as Japan and England. If social customs and ethics were totally determined by technologies, the world would be largely identical, and it would be a horrible scenario. In fact, we should notice that, when people find a date, whether on the Internet or in thereal world, the craving for love is the same. That is to say, technologies have mainly influenced our material life, including housing, clothing, transportation, diet and so on, but the spiritual world, which has been formedby cultures and beliefs, is not that easy to be touched.

Moreover, the development of technologiesis controlled by human beings. If the impact of technologies is so huge that it will reshape the society entirely, or the technologies are totally against the social ethics, people will surely do something to stop them. For instance, the technology of nuclear power has been quite mature, but abuse of it will pose a great threat to the entire world, so international pacts have been signed to make sure that it is used for the benefit of the world. Similarly, the skill of cloning, which has sparked fierce disputes among scientists, politicians and social activists, is currently under strict control. Therefore, people do not need to worry that one day nuclear weapons might come into grocery stores or clone operations might be performed every day in hospitals, which will completely change social ethics.

In conclusion, technologies undoubtedly insert great impacts on social customs and ethics, but they cannot determine customs and ethics entirely. Instead, social customs and ethics are largely shaped by other factors like geography and religion through a long history. Besides, technologies are developed and controlled by human beings, so people do not need to fear that technologies one day will be so developed that they will be out of control and make social customs and ethics totally different and unacceptable.

感觉有点偏题了。。。

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Ryan_liurui
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-5 14:30:18 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 Ryan_liurui 于 2009-6-5 14:31 编辑

怎么没人来啊，是不是因为组长写的太好了。没人敢动

真的哎，好长，好多，好强大，用赵本山说的话就是“好”

Pervasiveness of technologies in the world has been continuously reshaping（用的好，一般人都用change） every aspect of the society especially in the recent one hundred years. At the same time, philosophical debates over the impact of technologies have arisen. Some people worry that technologies will totally change our society and we will lose our original customs and ethics. I concede that technologies have large influence on social customs and ethics, but technologies, however advanced they are,（这句话句式挺好的，学习了） can hardly determine customs and ethics. There are various complex factors that determine social customs and ethics.

Admittedly, technologies have been developing so rapidly since the Industrial Revolution that they have significant impacts on every aspect of our society including customs and ethics. Accordingly, life styles all around the world have been changing dramatically. People used to write letters to friends and relatives to keep in touch with each other, but now, phone calls and email are much more convenient and have become the first choice. The way people work has been changed as well.Thanks to the development of the computer and the Internet, more and more people can do their jobs without going out. And with the help of electronic conferences people at different places do not have to get together（要不要加个面对面的face-to-face or physically，突出对比下） to held a meeting. What’s more, online dating has been extremely popular, which cannot be imagined several years ago. Making friends online is very efficient but sometimes hasty as some people complain. All of these phenomena seem to be brought about by technologies.

However, social customs and ethics cannot be totally determined by technologies. It has been less than two hundred years since the Industrial Revolution, while social customs and ethics are formed through a long history of hundreds even thousands of years shaped by many factors such as geography and religion. There are many countries in the present world whose technical levels have minor differences, but whose social customs and ethics are totally different, such as Japan and England. If social customs and ethics were totally determined by technologies, the world would be largely identical, and it would be a horrible scenario. In fact, we should notice that, when people find a date, whether on the Internet or in thereal world, the craving for love is the same. That is to say, technologies have mainly influenced our material life, including housing, clothing, transportation, diet and so on, but the spiritual world, which has been formedby漏了空格了吧 cultures and beliefs, is not that easy to be touched（用shaked是不是会好点）.

Moreover, the development of technologiesis（are） controlled by human beings. If the impact of technologies is so huge that it will reshape the society entirely, or the technologies are totally against the social ethics, people will surely do something to stop them. For instance, the technology of nuclear power has been quite mature, but abuse of it will pose a great threat to the entire world, so international pacts have been signed to make sure that it is used for the benefit of the world. Similarly, the skill of cloning, which has sparked fierce disputes among scientists, politicians and social activists, is currently under strict control用限制restriction会不会更好. Therefore, people do not need to worry that one day nuclear weapons might come into grocery stores or clone operations might be performed every day in hospitals, which will completely change social ethics.

In conclusion, technologies undoubtedly insert great impacts on social customs and ethics, but they cannot determine customs and ethics entirely. Instead, social customs and ethics are largely shaped by other factors like geography and religion through a long history. Besides, technologies are developed and controlled by human beings, so people do not need to fear that technologies one day will be so developed that they will be out of control and make social customs and ethics totally different and unacceptable.

写的好，有分析，有例子，而且都运用的恰到好处。看样组长写作文已有很长时间了。

文中的例子引出比较好，（我有好多例子知道是知道，可不知道该怎么写出来。）你好东西学习了

结尾处以
people do not need to fear 结束。好像这个地方有那么一点点“偏题了”。换个别的别的比如重申下自己的观点是不是更好些

以上都是个人拙见·········。以后多多交流多多学习

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板凳

发表于 2009-6-6 10:42:10 |只看该作者

Pervasiveness of technologies in the world has been continuously reshaping every aspect of the society especially in the recent one hundred years. At the same time, philosophical(这里用冷静,明达来修饰讨论,感觉不太合适,激烈的讨论就可以了吧) debates over the impact of technologies have arisen. Some people worry that technologies will totally change our society(change our society totally我感觉比较顺..) and we will lose our original customs and ethics. I concede that technologies have large influence on social customs and ethics, but technologies, however advanced they are, can hardly determine customs and ethics. There are various complex factors that determine social customs and ethics(这里的social customs and ethics能不能用them代替呢?这个我不确定).

Admittedly,technologies have been developing so rapidly since the Industrial Revolution that they have significant impacts on every aspect of our society including customs and ethics. Accordingly, life styles all around the world have been changing dramatically. People used to write letters to friends and relatives to keep in touch with each other, but now, phone calls and email are much more convenient and have become the first choice. The way people work has been changed as well.Thanks to the development of the computer and the Internet, more and more people can do their jobs without going out. And with the help of electronic conferences people at different places do not have to get together to held a meeting. What’s more, online dating has been extremely popular, which cannot be imagined several years ago. Making friends online is very efficient but sometimes hasty as some people complain. All of these phenomena seem to be brought about by technologies.(前两个例子都只说了好处,而最后一个又提了下不足之处,感觉有点乱)

However, social customs and ethics cannot be totally determined by technologies. It has been(这里用现在时就可以吧) less than two hundred years since the Industrial Revolution, while social customs and ethics are formed through a long history of hundreds even thousands of years (+and,否则貌似有两个谓语)shaped by many factors(被许多因素形成?通过许多因素形成?我写的时候就遇到了这个问题,如果改成shaped by the effect of many other factors呢?) such as geography and religion. There are many countries in the present world whose technical levels have minor differences, but whose social customs and ethics are totally different, such as Japan and England.(最好再简单分析一下不同的原因,例如什么思维方式不同之类的) If social customs and ethics were totally determined by technologies, the world would be largely identical, and it would be a horrible scenario. In fact, we should notice that, when people find a date, whether on the Internet or in thereal world, the craving for love is the same. That is to say, technologies have mainly influenced our material life, including housing, clothing, transportation, diet and so on, but the spiritual world, which has been formedby cultures and beliefs, is not that easy to be touched.

Moreover, the development of technologiesis controlled by human beings. If the impact of technologies is so huge that it will reshape the society entirely, or the technologies are totally against the social ethics, people will surely do something to stop them. For instance, the technology of nuclear power has been quite mature, but abuse of it will pose a great threat to the entire world, so international pacts have been signed to make sure that it is used for the benefit of the world. Similarly, the skill of cloning, which has sparked fierce disputes among scientists, politicians and social activists, is currently under strict control. Therefore, people do not need to worry that one day nuclear weapons might come into grocery stores or clone operations might be performed every day in hospitals, which will completely change social ethics.

In conclusion, technologies undoubtedly insert(insert和impact搭配?) great impacts on social customs and ethics, but they cannot determine customs and ethics entirely. Instead, social customs and ethics are largely shaped by other factors like geography and religion through a long history. Besides, technologies are developed and controlled by human beings, so people do not need to fear that technologies one day will be so developed that they will be out of control and make social customs and ethics totally different and unacceptable.

感觉这篇文章是越写越好一类的~
2 3段我感觉有点混乱后面就越来越清晰了
第三段那个反面假设很不错~ 学习了例子运用的也都很恰当
不过发现大家这次一个共同的毛病就是例子基本就那么几个...

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地板

发表于 2009-6-6 15:06:11 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 gloriaeye 于 2009-6-6 15:07 编辑

Pervasiveness of technologies in the world has been continuously reshaping every aspect of the society especially in the recent one hundred years. At the same time, philosophical debates over the impact of technologies have arisen. Some people worry that technologies will totally change our society and we will lose our original customs and ethics. I concede that technologies have large influence on social customs and ethics, but technologies, however advanced they are, can hardly determine customs and ethics. There are various complex factors that determine social customs and ethics.

Admittedly, technologies have been developing so rapidly since the Industrial Revolution that they have significant impacts on every aspect of our society including customs and ethics. Accordingly, life styles all around the world have been changing dramatically. People used to write letters to friends and relatives to keep in touch with each other, but now, phone calls and email are much more convenient and have become the (?their)first choice. The way people work has been changed as well. Thanks to the development of the computer and the Internet, more and more people can do their jobs without going out. And with the help of electronic conferences people at different places do not have to get together to held(hold) a meeting. What’s more, online dating has been extremely popular, which cannot be imagined several years ago. Making friends online is very efficient but sometimes hasty as some people complain. (?but句改成though引导的会好些吧) All of these phenomena seem to be brought about by technologies.

However, social customs and ethics cannot be totally determined by technologies. It has been less than two hundred years since the Industrial Revolution, while social customs and ethics are formed through a long history of hundreds even thousands of years shaped by many factors such as geography and religion. There are many countries in the present world whose technical levels have minor differences, but whose social customs and ethics are totally different, such as Japan and England. If social customs and ethics were totally determined by technologies, the world would be largely identical, and it would be a horrible scenario(情节，剧本？准确么？). In fact, we should notice that, when people find a date, whether on the Internet or in the real world, the craving for love is the same. That is to say, technologies have mainly influenced our material life, including housing, clothing, transportation, diet and so on, but the spiritual world, which has been formed by cultures and beliefs, is not that easy to be touched.

Moreover, the development of technologies is controlled by human beings. If the impact of technologies is so huge that it will reshape the society entirely, or the technologies are totally against the social ethics, people will surely do something to stop them. For instance, the technology of nuclear power has been quite mature, but abuse of it（?that） will pose a great threat to the entire world, so international pacts have been signed to make sure that it is used for the benefit of the world. Similarly, the skill of cloning, which has sparked fierce disputes among scientists, politicians and social activists, is currently under strict control. Therefore, people do not need to worry that one day nuclear weapons might come into grocery stores or clone operations might be performed every day in hospitals, which will completely change social ethics.

In conclusion, technologies undoubtedly insert(?恩，用的准确么?) great impacts on social customs and ethics, but they cannot determine customs and ethics entirely. Instead, social customs and ethics are largely shaped by other factors like geography and religion through a long history. Besides, technologies are developed and controlled by human beings, so people do not need to fear that technologies one day will be so developed that they will be out of control and make social customs and ethics totally different and unacceptable.

一点小看法哈
A 说T对E&C的影响可以缩短篇幅，相应的可以把第二段进行大幅度展开论述，即把什么geography, religion……的展开说
B恩，我觉得E&C还是有一定区别的，而第二段貌似只是论述了C啊，虽然二段的TOPIC句说是对E&C的哈
C中心明确，没跑题的啦^ ^

laughter is timeless

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virgo_zhang0910
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5楼

发表于 2009-6-7 16:01:16 |只看该作者

Pervasiveness of technologies in the world has been continuously reshaping every aspect of the society especially in the recent one hundred years. At the same time, philosophical debates over the impact of technologies have arisen. Some people worry that technologies will totally change our society and we will lose our original customs and ethics. I concede that technologies have large influence on social customs and ethics, but technologies, however advanced they are, can hardly determine customs and ethics. There are various complex factors that determine social customs and ethics.

Admittedly, technologies have been developing so rapidly since the Industrial Revolution that they have significant impacts on every aspect of our society including customs and ethics. Accordingly, life styles all around the world have been changing dramatically. People used to write letters to friends and relatives to keep in touch with each other, but now, phone calls and email are much more convenient and have become the first choice. The way people work has been changed as well.Thanks to the development of the computer and the Internet, more and more people can do their jobs without going out. And with the help of electronic conferences people at different places do not have to get together to held a meeting. What’s more, online dating has been extremely popular, which cannot be imagined several years ago. Making friends online is very efficient but sometimes hasty as some people complain. (complained 是否好些)All of these phenomena seem to be brought about by technologies.

However, social customs and ethics cannot be totally determined by technologies. It has been less than two hundred years since the Industrial Revolution, while social customs and ethics are formed through a long history of hundreds even thousands of years shaped by many factors such as geography and religion. There are many countries in the present world whose technical levels have minor differences, but whose social customs and ethics are totally different, such as Japan and England. If social customs and ethics were totally determined by technologies, the world would be largely identical, and it would be a horrible scenario. In fact, we should notice that, when people find a date, whether on the Internet or in thereal world, the craving for love is the same. That is to say, technologies have mainly influenced our material life, including housing, clothing, transportation, diet and so on, but the spiritual world, which has been formedby cultures and beliefs, is not that easy to be touched.

Moreover, the development of technologiesis(用techonology是不是就可以啊 ) controlled by human beings. If the impact of technologies is so huge that it will reshape the society entirely, or the technologies are totally against the social ethics, people will surely do something to stop them. For instance, the technology of nuclear power has been quite mature, but abuse of it will pose a great threat to the entire world, so international pacts have been signed to make sure that it is used for the benefit of the world. Similarly, the skill of cloning, which has sparked fierce disputes among scientists, politicians and social activists, is currently under strict control. Therefore, people do not need to worry that one day nuclear weapons might come into grocery stores or clone operations might be performed every day in hospitals, which will completely change social ethics.

In conclusion, technologies undoubtedly insert great impacts (用法是否正确？)on social customs and ethics, but they cannot determine customs and ethics entirely. Instead, social customs and ethics are largely shaped by other factors like geography and religion through a long history. Besides, technologies are developed and controlled by human beings, so people do not need to fear that technologies one day will be so developed that they will be out of control and make social customs and ethics totally different and unacceptable.

很好很强大，可以当成范文学习了。思路很清晰，各个分论点也能很好支持。
组长可不可以给传授一下如何练习写作文的~

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6楼

发表于 2009-6-7 23:56:13 |只看该作者

is not that easy to be touched（用shaked是不是会好点）shake这个词不错，我写的时候就觉得touch力度不够。
结尾处以people do not need to fear 结束。好像这个地方有那么一点点“偏题了”。这个也是我的一个疑虑。。。

philosophical(这里用冷静,明达来修饰讨论,感觉不太合适,激烈的讨论就可以了吧) debates 这个指哲学意义上的讨论，就是关于科技与人类的关系这种思辨性的讨论。
customs and ethics(这里的social customs and ethics能不能用them代替呢?这个我不确定). 嗯应该用them比较好，social customs and ethics这里重复比较多。
thousands of years (+and,否则貌似有两个谓语)shaped by many factors 不是啊，这里shaped...是一个啥成份名称忘了。。好像叫定语成份吧，如果加and就该说...and they are shaped by...
shaped by many factors(被许多因素形成?通过许多因素形成?我写的时候就遇到了这个问题,如果改成shaped by the effect of many other factors呢?) 感觉effect有点多余。。
insert(insert和impact搭配?) great impacts 嗯，我错了。。insert应该是exert

get together to held(hold) a meeting对头对头
a horrible scenario(情节，剧本？准确么？) 这个应该是可以的，scenario有一个释义是a situation that could possibly happen例句：Imagine a scenario where only 20% of people have a job.
insert(?恩，用的准确么?) great impacts 嗯，这个你也看出来了，应该是exert

insert great impacts (用法是否正确？)virgo也看出来了，是我的失误

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7楼

发表于 2009-6-8 12:32:45 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 fingshang 于 2009-6-8 12:33 编辑

88."Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
1、
技术的确对习惯与伦理有很大的影响
A、
以前习惯写信，现在发邮件、打电话、发短信
B、
工作方式的改变，在家工作，远程商务，电子会议(electronic conferences)
C、
交友方式的改变，网络交友(online dating)，交友迅速而随意
2、
但技术不可能决定习惯与伦理
A、
[url=]技术只是近一两百年的事[/url][*1] ，但习惯与伦理是数百年上千年由各种因素慢慢演变形成的，如地理与宗教。
B、
[url=]技术水平相同的国家完全可能有不一样的习惯与伦理，比如英国与日本比较。[/url][*2]
C、
技术主要是从外部改变我们的生活（物质层面），一些内在的东西是不变的。比如不管从哪种方式交友，都是出于对友谊或爱情的渴望
不得不支持
说的很有道理。
3、技术是由人类掌握的，习惯与伦理在一定程度上会决定技术发展的方向，[url=]所以不用担心技术的发展会将人类社会带向坏的方向。[/url]
[*3]
比如克隆技术(cloning)，核技术

总体感觉这篇文章写起来比较难
来学习下组长

[url=]Pervasiveness of technologies in the world has been continuously reshaping every aspect of the society especially in the recent one hundred years.[/url][*4] [url=]At the same time, philosophical debates over the impact of technologies have arisen. Some people worry that technologies will totally change our society and we will lose our original customs and ethics.[/url][*5] I concede that technologies have large influence on social customs and ethics, but technologies, [url=]however advanced they are[/url][*6] , can hardly determine customs and ethics. There are various complex factors that determine social customs and ethics.

Admittedly, technologies have been developing so rapidly since the Industrial Revolution that they have significant impacts on every aspect of our society including customs and ethics. Accordingly, [url=]life styles[/url][*7] all around the world have been changing dramatically. People used to write letters to friends and relatives to keep in touch with each other, but now, phone calls and email are much more convenient and have become the first choice. The way people work has been changed as well. Thanks to the development of the computer and the Internet, more and more people can do their jobs without going out. And with the help of electronic conferences people at different places do not have to get together to held a meeting. What’s more, online dating has been extremely popular, which cannot be imagined several years ago. Making friends online is very efficient but sometimes[url=] hasty as some people complain[/url][*8] . All of these phenomena seem to be brought about by technologies.
感觉组长的过渡的功力真不错
读起来很顺畅
发现没有ethics的例子
我自己反正是举不出来像样的
组长加油给咱想个呗
However, social customs and ethics cannot be totally determined by technologies. It has been less than two hundred years since the Industrial Revolution, while social customs and ethics are formed through a long history of hundreds even thousands of years shaped by many factors such as geography and religion. [url=]There are many countries in the present world whose technical levels have minor differences, but whose social customs and ethics are totally different, such as [/url]Japan and England. [*9] If social customs and ethics were[url=] totally [/url][*10] determined by technologies, the world would be largely identical, and it would be a horrible scenario晕
我今天刚复习的单词都用上了
强！！！万一阅卷老师不认识怎么办
哈哈. In fact, we should notice that, when people find a date, whether on the Internet or in the real world, the craving for love is the same. That is to say, technologies have mainly influenced our material life, including housing, clothing, transportation, diet and so on, but the spiritual world, which has been formed by cultures and beliefs, is not that easy to be shaked.

Moreover, the development of technologists controlled by human beings. [url=]If the impact of technologies is so huge that it will reshape the society entirely, or the technologies are totally against the social ethics, people will surely do something to stop them.[/url][*11] For instance, the technology of nuclear power has been quite mature, but abuse of it will pose a great threat to the entire world, so international pacts have been signed to make sure that it is used for the benefit of the world. Similarly, the skill是为了避免重复么？ of cloning, which has sparked fierce disputes among scientists, politicians and social activists, is currently under strict control. Therefore, people do not need to worry that one day nuclear weapons might come into grocery stores or clone operations might be performed every day in hospitals, which will completely change social ethics.

In conclusion, technologies undoubtedly insert great impacts on ？？social customs and ethics, but they cannot determine customs and ethics entirely. Instead, social customs and ethics are largely shaped by other factors like geography and religion through a long history. Besides, technologies are developed and controlled by human beings, so people do not need to fear that technologies one day will be so developed that they will be out of control and make social customs and ethics totally different and unacceptable.

读组长的文章真的很顺畅
过渡的很好
向OLD BIG 学习

[*1]为什么这么说呢？从知识的定义看：Technology refers to methods, systems, and devices which are the result of scientific knowledge being used for practical purposes.
对知识的运用
都可以说是技术
比如原始人用火烤肉

哦
看原文才知道
especially in the recent one hundred years.
汗自己

[*2]组长真厉害这个思路确实不错

[*3]这句好像跑了点儿

[*4]要是我写的就好了真帅

[*5]哦看这儿我知道组长为什么感觉自己偏题了估计问题就处在这句上你先预设人有这种担心其实从题目上我觉得看不出来也可能我悟性太差了楼主想的可真远

[*6]第一次见however这么用的新奇中。。。

[*7]疑问：这个到底是分开的还是和起来的

[*8]这句是不是跑了点儿

[*9]再说一次我爱你写的真帅啊

[*10]可是题目没有totally 我也想过这样写可是觉得有点儿欺负出题目的那个人以后遇到这种事儿咱是陷害出题的呢还是怎么办？期待组长解答

[*11]怎么突然提起这个了?

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8楼

发表于 2009-6-8 20:58:36 |只看该作者

回蜗牛
改得很仔细啊，我自己有疑虑的地方都被你改出来了，首先我对这个题目是挺吃不准的，所以感觉自己有点跑题，不过我觉得只要切中题目核心就可以了，稍微生发一点应该没事吧。。。个人意见。
ethics的例子的确没想到，8中有一个转折我是想说技术带来的改变不一定是好的，但又没展开写，所以看着很是别扭。
7应该是并起来的，我咋分开了。。。
10totally应该可以吧，我感觉是，说不清楚。。。

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