[i习作temp] 【InEffable 小组第6次作业】issue170- by binronger [复制链接]

binronger
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-1-15 14:48:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE170 - "The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."

When reading history books, the content is always about the achievement by some famous persons, such as scientists, rulers and artists. However, when consider whether this dynasty is great, the general welfare should be paid more attention. I agree so forth with the claim that it is the all national citizens’ welfare that decided the extent of a nation of its achievements. Furthermore, a great nation creates circumstance for excellent people to create more masterpieces which is significant to reflect a nation's great.

To begin with, the basic and finally goal of a country is to make its nationalities have a happy and wealthy life. In history, the famous kings have a common characteristic that they focus on the life of all persons in their country. As a result, they made up lots of laws and policies which are helpful to make people's life better. The England Queen Elisabeth is a good example. When she charged the England, argued for peace and took methods to solve the conflict with Italy without war won a wonderful fame for her. Besides, the economic growth sparkly and the quality of life increased as well. The proof that the earth is round rather than square is also found in this time. There is no doubt that England is a great nation in that period.

People is the main body of a nation, when most people are not satisfied with their lives, the country will be in danger to go on its control rather than talk about great. The fate of the Qing dynasty is doomed. Because of the poor life, uncountable tax and work, the welfare of people is pale. Even though, in this country there are many achievements, such as the Great Wall, the first King of China, it is still in doubt whether this nation is great for the reason that these achievement are built on the basis of civilization's life and happy lives.

In addition, only in a peaceful circumstance, the artists, scientists and other talents will create more great works. Surviving is the basic requirement for a person, only when the life has a protect, people have the condition to create some other thing to pull the improvement of the society. In the War, the great philosophies Archimedes, who is also a great scientist, mathematic and astronomer
, lost his life. We cannot count how many significant discoveries he will find if he was still alive. It is obvious that many geniuses lost their lives and had to give up their talent in order to survive in the Second World War. On the other hand, in the peaceful land, people try their best to improve their quality of life both the object and the mental. For example, there were many outstanding poets in Tang Dynasty which is peaceful and blooming.

To conclusion, a standard for a nation's great is the general welfare of all its people and the achievements by rulers, artists and scientists are its markers.

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xiaxiaobing919
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沙发

发表于 2010-1-15 15:54:56 |只看该作者

"The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."

When reading history books, the content is always about the achievement by some famous persons, such as scientists, rulers and artists. However, when consider whether this dynasty is great, the general welfare should be paid more attention. I agree so forth with the claim that it is the all national citizens’ welfare that decided the extent（greatness） of a nation of its achievements. Furthermore, a great nation creates circumstance（这个词用的不好，建议修改，比如atmosphere， or provides a platform） for excellent people to create more masterpieces which is(are) significant to reflect a nation's great(用名词).

To begin with, the basic and finally(一个形容词，一个副词，注意语法) goal of a country is to make its nationalities（这个单词的意思是国籍） and wealthy life. In history, the famous kings have a common characteristic that they focus on the life of all persons in their country. As a result, they made up lots of laws and policies which are helpful to make people's life better. The England Queen Elisabeth is a good example. When she charged the England, argued for peace and took methods to solve the conflict with Italy without war won a wonderful fame for her.（感觉这句话里面有两句话的成分，语法不清楚，例子还是很不错的） Besides, the economic growth sparkly and the quality of life increased as well. The proof that the earth is round rather than square is also found in this time.（我查了一下，地圆说最早提出是亚里士多德，即便是在哥伦布时期，他也是西班牙往后资助的，与英国没有关系） There is no doubt that England is a great nation in that period. /写正面例子，有好的welfare才能great

People is the main body（这个body感觉味道上有点问题啊） of a nation, when most people are not satisfied with their lives, the country will be in danger to go on its control rather than talk about great. The fate of the Qing dynasty is doomed. Because of the poor life, uncountable tax and work, the welfare of people is pale. Even though, in this country there are many achievements, such as the Great Wall, the first King of China, it is still in doubt whether this nation is great for the reason that these achievement are built on the basis of civilization's life and happy lives.（我觉得你拿不同时期这样比不太好吧，清朝腐败和秦始皇有啥关系，在秦时期，咱中国就是伟大，大清朝后期，就是不行。不具可比性）/证明welfare是一个很好的indicator

In addition, only in a peaceful circumstance, the artists, scientists and other talents will create more great works.（only 也太绝对了吧，你看咱五四时期，不是也有很多优秀的作品吗） Surviving is the basic requirement for a person, only when the life has a protect, people have the condition to create some other thing to pull the improvement of the society. In the War, the great philosophies Archimedes, who is also a great scientist, mathematic and astronomer, lost his life. We cannot count how many significant discoveries he will find if he was still alive. It is obvious that many geniuses lost their lives and had to give up their talent in order to survive in the Second World War.（怎么从阿基米德一下跳到二战，中间一点连接都没有） On the other hand, in the peaceful land, people try their best to improve their quality of life both the object and the mental. For example, there were many outstanding poets in Tang Dynasty which is peaceful and blooming./ 讲在和平环境下才能创造出更多的文艺作品

To conclusion, a standard for a nation's great is the general welfare of all its people and the achievements by rulers, artists and scientists are its markers

总体感觉，段与段之间的逻辑有点混论。例子还是比较新，但要注意如何更加合理的运用，而不是简单的罗列例子。.

我写了一道不是作业题的Issue，麻烦有时间帮我看一下吧，尽量帮我多提一下问题吧，还有10天就考试了，多谢多谢！Issue212
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1051545&extra=

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