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randomchen
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-4-11 15:14:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

写得不好，大家帮我修改一下哈~~

Topic: People can benefit more from traveling in their own country than traveling to foreign countries.

Traveling helps a person to open his mind and gain a lot of knowledge by all means. Both local traveling and go abroad is a great experience for the one who goes out and see what the outside world is. I don't think there's a exact answer of which is more benificial, it depends on where you go to.

In China, one of the biggest country in the world, you could see so much different landscapes and cities. Hongkong, the international financial center which is the paradise of shopping, and Beijing is the Olympic city that carries 5,000 years cultural backgound of China, or the plateau in the west is one of the most magnificant sight in the world.

Also, the diversity of cultural difference is very attractive to the travelers, and they often focus on food, which delegate the feature of the area. They could taste the absolute famous hot food in Sichuan, or the sweet dishes in Shanghai, or the wild beef in inner Mongolia.

Travel in a foreign country is totally fresh, the behavior wich local residences are accustomed would make you very interested, the conventional life style and ritual will give you a high impact. But sometimes, cause the enviroment is brand new, you would neglect the details and cultural background behind them and just focusing on the surface level. Of course there's another situation that travelers looking for every detail and make everything clear that local people don't even know or care.

Consequently, traveling gives people great views to the world, whether the one they live or they meet for the very first time, the memory will be unreplacable.

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monicaycy
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沙发

发表于 2010-4-11 23:09:34 |只看该作者

1# randomchen
Traveling helps a person to open his mind and gain a lot ofknowledge by all means. Both local traveling and go abroad is a(are both) great experience(s) for the one who goesout and see what the outside world is. I don't think there's a(n) exact answer of whichis more beneficial, it depends on where you go to.. b6}! {6 A. U' K* A6 y5 E1 q
$ _6 n8 m- L ( P% t' U' K
In China, one ofthe biggest country in the world, you could see(have主语不对) so much differentlandscapes and cities.( For example,)Hongkong, the international financial center which is theparadise of shopping(as well), and Beijing is the Olympic city that carries 5,000 yearscultural backgound of China, or(and also 因为是并列吧) the plateau in the west （in china感觉好像舒服些
）is one of the most magnificant sight in the world.
- D4 T3 x: R/ ~ d8 K' @+ X( r( C) s: s" N0 a
Also, the diversity of cultural difference is veryattractive to the travelers, and they often focus on food, which delegate thefeature of the area. They could taste theabsolute（ly） famous hot food in Sichuan, or the sweet dishes in Shanghai, orthe wild beef in inner Mongolia. % u/ V5 e3 M" I6 v3 V+ g
7 j1 H- \: _% N4 k) G4 O% @
Travel in a foreign country is totally （an） fresh（experience）, the behavior wich local residences are accustomed wouldmake you very interested, the conventional life style and ritual will give youa high impact. But sometimes, cause the enviro（n）ment is brand new, you would neglect the details and culturalbackground behind them and（but） just focusing on the surface level. Of course there's anothersituation that travelers looking for every detail and make everything clearthat local people don't even know or care.1 k9 U% B( {! B; _) R/ |% N: s
! Y% k0 F4 |6 j
Consequently, traveling gives people great views tothe world, whether the one they live or they meet for the very first time, thememory will be unreplacable.

纯新手！改的不对请多包涵！作者您很喜欢用逗号做从句，我也感觉这样的句子很好看呢！加油！- `( K+~* P1 T7 N9 R4 Q
0 W! I) h0 e1 X/ {( g- b

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randomchen
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板凳

发表于 2010-4-11 23:38:38 |只看该作者

Thanks, a lof of error exposed! And I've found several more myself.

gonna practice more!

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randomchen
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地板

发表于 2010-4-12 15:17:28 |只看该作者

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher who is a serious and strict person is more effective in teaching than a teacher who is a humor and easygoing person.

Although there's many different situation on cultivating students, based on different diciplines, I still strongly disagree that a strict teacher is more effective. Education is not restricting the children and force them to do jobs, which they don't like or they have their own thoughts, there's more aspects of initiating and inducting.

An easy going teacher could open students mind, and let them think or imagine, make them love the course or the major. After they've fasinated with what they are learing, they would have more motivation that generate from the bottom of their own will, it won't come out by forcing them with orders and rules.

A humor teacher could make the course more interesting, because there're so many courses are obiously not very attractive, and often make ones who learn it feel painful and miserable. A good teacher can change the aura of the class, student will have the image that connect with their facetious teacher, and their will would be more positive, which make them learn better.

Besides, the two kinds of teacher that the topic gave is not always black or white, a great teacher can achieve that they behave humor and interesting in the class, make the boredom numbers and calculations vividly, while on the other hand, they also very serious and have their own strict rules. Students will love the charisma of the teacher while they don't have guts to do homeworks casually.

A teacher, who's the delegate of the course, is the conductor of the class. Sometimes the most vital thing is not what to teach, but is how the teach. It's like putting food into a baby's mouth, which way do you think would help? Tell him the percentage of every kind of nutrition he would get with a cold face, or just smile?

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hulinlin24
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5楼

发表于 2010-4-13 21:49:36 |只看该作者

Although there's(are) many different situations on cultivating students, based on different diciplines, I still strongly disagree with that a strict teacher is more effective. Education is not restricting the children and force them to do jobs（语法不对）, which they don't like or they have their own thoughts, there's more aspects of initiating and inducting。不明白你想表达什么

An easy going teacher could open students mind（最好用broaden students' horizons), and(去掉） let them think or imagine, and make them love the course or the major. After they've fasinated with what they are learing(learn), they would have more motivation that generate from the bottom of their own will, it won't come out by forcing them with orders and rules什么意思？这一段论述不足，缺少例子和细节支持

A humor teacher could make the course more interesting, because there're so many courses are obiously not very attractive, and often make ones who learn it(them) feel painful and miserable. A good teacher can change the aura(多用于气味，气氛用atmosphere) of the class, student will have the image that connect with their facetious teacher, and their will would be more positive, which make them learn better.
' v2 [4 u( f* B1 t6 j3 H

Besides, the two kinds of teacher that the topic gave is not always black or white, a great teacher can achieve that they behave humor and interesting in the class, make the boredom numbers and calculations vividly, while on the other hand, they also very serious and have their own strict rules. Students will love the charisma of the teacher while they don't have guts to do homeworks casually.

A teacher, who's the delegate of the course, is the conductor of the class. Sometimes the most vital thing is not what to teach, but is how the teach. It's like putting food into a baby's mouth, which way do you think would help? Tell him the percentage of every kind of nutrition he would get with a cold face, or just smile?赞最好一段
童鞋的问题有点点多呢，首先，句子简单，语法和逻辑错误有点点多，特别是主谓和单复数的问题
然后，同学都是在论述，缺乏例子和细节的支撑，而且论述比较单调乏力
最后，第四段写得不错。。但最好还是要有倾向性
个人一点小小的意见，有不对的地方请见谅
加油

博观而约取，厚积而薄发

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lawrencelan
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6楼

发表于 2010-4-14 14:01:33 |只看该作者

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher who is a serious and strict person is more effective in teaching than a teacher who is a humor and easygoing person.

Although there's(are) many different situations on cultivating students, based on different diciplines, I still strongly disagree that a strict teacher is more effective. Education is not restricting the children and force(forcing) them to do jobs, which they don't like or they have their own thoughts (on), there's(are) more aspects of initiating and inducting(inducing?).)

An easy going teacher could open students mind, and let them think or imagine, make them love the course or the major. After they've fasinated with what they are learing, they would have more motivations that generate from the bottom of their own will, it(those motivations?) won't come out by forcing them with orders and rules.

A humor teacher could make the course more interesting, because there're so many courses are obiously not very attractive, and often make ones who learn it(them) feel painful and miserable. A good teacher can change the aura of the class(I am not sure this is a correct expression.), student will have the image that connect with their facetious teacher, and their will would be more positive, which make them learn better.

Besides, the two kinds of teachers that the topic gave is not always black or white, a great teacher can achieve that(what does the word "that" refer ) they behave humor and interesting(you need adverbs here instead of adjective) in the class, make the boredom numbers and calculations vividly, while on the other hand, they also very serious and have their own strict rules. Students will love the charisma of the teacher (teachers) while they don't have guts to do homeworks casually.

A teacher, who's the delegate of the course, is the conductor of the class. Sometimes the most vital thing is not what to teach, but is how the (to)teach. It's like putting food into a baby's mouth, which way do you think would help? Tell him the percentage of every kind of nutrition he would get with a cold face, or just smile?

总结：
1. 定冠词用得不大对。
2. 习惯用逗号连接两个主句，这在英语中是不对的。要把其中一个变成从句，或者用and, but ,so等等连接
3. 建议同学多看些优秀的文章，同勉，加油

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