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xiaohuimi291
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-7-23 21:01:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 xiaohuimi291 于 2010-7-25 12:23 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT50 - From a draft textbook manuscript submitted to a publisher.

"As Earth was being formed out of the collision of space rocks, the heat from those collisions and from the increasing gravitational energy of the planet made the entire planet molten, even the surface. Any water present would have evaporated and gone off into space. As the planet approached its current size, however, its gravitation became strong enough to hold gases and water vapor around it as an atmosphere. Because comets are largely ice made up of frozen water and gases, a comet striking Earth then would have vaporized. The resulting water vapor would have been retained in the atmosphere, eventually falling as rain on the cooled and solidified surface of Earth. Therefore, the water in Earth's oceans must have originated from comets."
WORDS: 449
TIME: 00:29:19
DATE: 2010-7-23 8:23:05

The author of this draft textbook manuscript concludes that oceans in the earth have come from comets. To support his conclusion, the author points out the process and result of collision with Earth and space rocks as example of collision between Earth
and comets. To further support his conclusion, the author analyzes the process of the collision and formation of rain in Earth. Close scrutiny of its reasoning reveals several logical flaws as follow.
Firstly, the author's conclusion rests on the assumption that when a comet collies the Earth, the comet would have definitely vaporized. However, we are not informed that there is not a threshold for vaporization in this collision. On one hand, it is possible that the collision is so lightly that no significant heat is retained to melt the comet. On the other hand, it is also possible that the comet is huge enough that the heat produced is too sick to melt the ice in the comets. If either is the case, the author's conclusion based on this assumption is unconvincing.
Secondly, even if the assumption that the water and ice have vaporized in comet after a collision with the Earth, the author fails to prove that the vapor forms the atmosphere in Earth and finally falling as rain to the surface of Earth. In fact, we are informed in the manuscripts that as the water present evaporates and goes off into space, it would become atmosphere for the original planet if the planet's gravitation is strong enough. This reveals two conditions: the planet should approach its appropriate size to own a agreeable gravitation to hold the vapor; it is around the planet which is the original source of the vapor that atmosphere is formed. Yet, the author fails to recognize this. Furthermore, the author assumes that the vapor in the atmosphere would rain to the Earth. However, we are not informed from the manuscript that if the atmosphere around the Earth held by gravitation could drop down. Thus, a series of differences between the astronomic knowledge mentioned above and the prediction produced under renders any conclusion based on this reducing unfair.
Thirdly, even though the vapor produced in the collision of the Earth and comets could form the atmosphere in the Earth and drop down to the surface of the Earth, the author provides no evidences that the Earth's oceans have come from comets. Actually, a number of other plausible factors could explain the forming of the Earth's oceans. Perhaps there are a variety of other planets collapses with the Earth to create it oceans before. Or perhaps a number of methods, other than collision, such as biosynthesis, could be accounted for the forming. Without ruling out these agreeable possibilities, the evidence provides little credibility to support the author’s viewpoint.
In sum, the argument is not well supported. To persuade me that the atmosphere around the Earth come from comets after a collision, the author should provide more accurate evidences: (1) the heat from collision reaches the threshold to melt the ice in comets; (2) the vapor originated from comets could form atmosphere in the Earth; (3) the atmosphere formed from collision could drop down to earth through raining. To better evaluate the argument, the author should exclude other factors in forming the ocean in the Earth.

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短发mm
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沙发

发表于 2010-7-25 10:08:12 |只看该作者

1# xiaohuimi291
The author of this draft textbook manuscript concluds that oceans in the earth have come from (不妥)comets. To support his conclusion, the author points out the process and result of collision with Earth and space rocks as example of collision between Earth
and comets. To further support his conclusion, the author analyze the process of the collision and formation of rain in Earth. Close scrutiny of its reducting reveals several logical flaws as follow.
Firstly, the author's conclusion rests on the assumption that when a comet collies the Earth, the comet would have definitly vaporized. However, we are not informed that there is not a threshold for vaporization in this collision. On one hand, it is possible that the collision is so lightly that no significant heat is retained to melt the comet. On the other hand, it is also possible that the comet is huge enough that the heat produced is too sick to melt the ice in the comets. If either is the case, the author's conclusion based on this assumption is unconvicing.
Secondly, even if the assumption that the water and ice have vaporized in comet after a collision with the Earth, the author fails to prove that the vapor forms the atmosphere in Earth and finally falling as rain to the surface of Earth.(这个观点不错) In fact, we are informed in the manuscriprt that as the water present evaporates and goes off into space, it would become atmosphere for the original planet if the planet's gravitation is strong enough. This reveals two conditions: the planet should approach its appropriate size to own a agreeable gravitation to hold the vapor; it is around the planet which is the original source of the vapor that atmosphere is formed. Yet, the author fails to recongnize this. Furthermore, the author assumes that the vapor in the atmosphsere would rain to the Earth. However, we are not informed from the manuscript that if the atmosphere around the Earth held by gravitaion could drop down. Thus, a series of differences between the astronomic knowledge mentioned above and the prediction preduced under renders any conclusion based on this reducing unfair.
Thirdly, even though the vaper produced in the collision of the Earth and comets could form the atomsphere in the Earth and drop down to the surface of the Earth, the author provides no evidences that the Earth's oceans have come from comets. Actually, a pymraid of other plausible fators could explan the forming of the Earth's oceans. Perhaps there are a variaty of other planets collipses with the Earth to create it oceans before. Or perhaps a number of methods, other than collision, such as biosynthesis, could be accounted for the forming. Without ruling out this agreeable possibilities, the evidence provide little crebility to support the author’s viewpoint.
In sum, the argument is not well supported. To persuade me that the atmosphere around the Earth come from comets after a collision, the author shoule provide more accurate evidences: (1) the heat from collision reaches the threshold to melt the ice in comets; (2) the vapor originated from comets could form atmosphere in the Earth; (3) the atmosphere formed from collision could drop down to earth through rainnig. To better evaluate the argument, the author should exculde other fators in forming the ocean in the Earth.
观点都没什么问题,用词还要谨慎,还有拼写错误,自己拖到word里改,太多了我不予修改.

evolve with time

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xiaohuimi291
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板凳

发表于 2010-7-25 12:24:37 |只看该作者

2# 短发mm
讲得是，谢了！

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yingyuemeng
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地板

发表于 2010-8-1 00:25:39 |只看该作者

RE: 欢迎拍--7月23日 ARGU(50)

The author of this draft textbook manuscript concludes that oceans in the earth have come from comets. To support his conclusion, the author points out(我觉得应该应该是describe之类的，“指出”在这感觉有点奇怪） the process and result of collision with Earth and space rocks as example of collision between Earth and comets.（这里应该是要说作者是怎样证明自己的观点的吧，恩，但是我觉得这句话好像不是很能表达出这个意思，我看得很迷茫） To further support his conclusion, the author analyzes the process of the collision and formation of rain in Earth. Close scrutiny of its reasoning reveals several logical flaws as follow.
Firstly, the author's conclusion rests on the assumption that when a comet collies the Earth, the comet would have definitely vaporized. However, we are not informed that there is not a threshold for vaporization in this collision. On one hand, it is possible that the collision is so lightly that no significant heat is retained to melt the comet. On the other hand, it is also possible that the comet is huge enough that the heat produced is too sick to melt the ice in the comets. If either is the case, the author's conclusion based on this assumption is unconvincing.
Secondly, even if the assumption that the water and ice have vaporized in comet after a collision with the Earth,(谓语和宾语呢？) the author fails to prove that the vapor forms the atmosphere in Earth and finally falling as rain to the surface of Earth. In fact, we are informed in the manuscripts that as the water present evaporates and goes off into space, it would become atmosphere for the original planet if the planet's gravitation is strong enough. This reveals two conditions: the planet should approach its appropriate size to own a agreeable gravitation to hold the vapor; it is around the planet which is the original source of the vapor that atmosphere is formed. Yet, the author fails to recognize this. Furthermore, the author assumes that the vapor in the atmosphere would rain to the Earth. However, we are not informed from the manuscript that if the atmosphere around the Earth held by gravitation could drop down. Thus, a series of differences between the astronomic knowledge mentioned above and the prediction produced under renders any conclusion based on this reducing unfair.（恩，这句话没看懂）
Thirdly, even though the vapor produced in the collision of the Earth and comets could form the atmosphere in the Earth and drop down to the surface of the Earth, the author provides no evidences that the Earth's oceans have come from comets. Actually, a number of other plausible （这个词不太对吧）factors could explain the forming of the Earth's oceans. Perhaps there are a variety of other planets collapses with the Earth to create it oceans before. Or perhaps a number of methods, other than collision, such as biosynthesis, could be accounted for the forming. Without ruling out these agreeable possibilities, the evidence provides little credibility to support the author’s viewpoint.
In sum, the argument is not well supported. To persuade me that the atmosphere around the Earth come from comets after a collision, the author should provide more accurate evidences: (1) the heat from collision reaches the threshold to melt the ice in comets; (2) the vapor originated from comets could form atmosphere in the Earth; (3) the atmosphere formed from collision could drop down to earth through raining. To better evaluate the argument, the author should exclude other factors in forming the ocean in the Earth.

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xiaohuimi291
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5楼

发表于 2010-8-1 06:29:53 |只看该作者

1.“the assumption that the water and ice have vaporized in comet after a collision with the Earth”的谓语是have vaporized没宾语。
2. “a series of differences between the astronomic knowledge mentioned above and the prediction produced under renders any conclusion based on this reducing unfair”这句话是想说明作者提供的天文背景与他做出的推测不服。好像是没有说清楚。改成“ a series of differences between the astromic knowledge and deduction in the manuscription renders any conclusion based on th this reducing unfair."

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