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[i习作temp] 风雨与共第一周 issue 40 by 【4】千寻 [复制链接]

部落联盟five
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-12-28 12:01:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由部落联盟five 于 2011-1-23 21:52 编辑

40 "Scholars and researchers should not be concernedwith whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is moreimportant that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual oridiosyncratic those interests may seem." [05/11; 06/0]

根据依林童鞋的修改小小的改了一下从依林的的建议中我总结出了对我非常有用的一点：要学会用连接词把句子之间的关系表达出来，不要因为前面讲过的就直接省略关键词和连接词，会严重影响文章的理解
在此特别感谢依林童鞋

同意：人作为社会的一部分，的确摆脱不了自己的社会责任，但是作为一个个体，自己的兴趣爱好才能提供长久的动力A:学者和研究人员作为社会的组成成员的一部分，的确摆脱不了社会的责任，他们的工作也摆脱不了社会的评价
B:但是如果过于注重通过社会对自己工作的判断来主导自己研究或者学习的方向的话，很有可能走入误区
C:个人的兴趣是非常重要的
(1)首先，可以为研究提供长久的动力
(2)其次，在如此纷繁复杂的社会大环境中为自己的前进指引方向
(3)个人的兴趣爱好无法被人理解可能是指一个片面的现象对于自己兴趣爱好的追求也不会妨碍到位社会做出贡献

Should scholars and researchers take thesociety’s welfare as their work’s direction or treat the personal interests as the significant pursuance ?In my point of view, as a part of the society, they do cannot betray their social responsibility of contribution to the public, while only the individual interests can provide the long-term and effective impetus for research and studies which eventually obtain abundant paybacks.

Human being cannot be separated from thecommunity, thus everybody should shoulder social liability more or less. We are closelyconnected with the society from the moment of our birth. Our living society influence individual growth with specializedstandards in each realm. Contribution and reciprocation to the society in one’s power is a wide-accepted conducting principle as a part of the mentioned standards. However, it doesn’t mean whole personal behaviors have to excessively corresponded with this norm. The truth is that a person’s dedication should be evaluated according to sundry aspects including the substantial level, the social comportment and mentalarea. Correspondingly the social responsibilities also can be divided intovarious details such as obeying the established laws, helping each other, notharming other’s rights, it is unnecessary for an individual exorbitantly limit their studies within a fictitious scope naming “contribution”.

Taking considering social welfare as researches’direction indeed are capable of receiving fruits contributing to the society,while academic progress is also an individual action which should not easilyinfluenced and intervened by the outside inducement. If researchers keep their science action within a reasonable and acceptable range, they do have the power and freeness to letinterests control their pursuance. Controvertibly, extremely conforming to the contributing principle may lead to unwanted results. Because science’screativity would be restrained by some illusory rules and the judgment of researchers might be intervened by the society’s various standards. Take M.Servetus’s personal pursuance as an example. Religious thought is a preponderant ideology within the medieval European’s ideological system. TheChristian church as the authority evaluated their citizens’ contribution via aprinciple of not querying the sanctity of the religious belief. However,Servutus bravely questioned the mainstream conviction with his insisting ofpulmonary circulatory system, which undertook the risk of destroying theexisted society’s stability especially in that era. If Servutus submitted his“unusual” interests to the popular standard, this amazing scientific foundwould be missed for another long period.

Thus, researchers and scholars definitely shouldtreat their interests as a significant direction of academic research in orderto keep the prosperityand multiplicity of science’s development. Researches need people owning thecharacteristics of perseverance, acute observation and exploring ability which all can be originated from personal interests. In addition, the complexity of theenvironment calls the personal interests to maintain the appropriate progressof advance. As mentioned above, the social standards’ diversity will enhancethe difficulty of reasonable judgment in science’s development. Only thepersonality’s insistence from interests can expel the various interferencesfrom outside.

Generally speaking, the researchers cannotextraordinarily obey the contributing principle at the expense of the personalinterests which are also capable of resulting the promoting the social welfare.

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部落联盟five
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沙发

发表于 2010-12-28 12:03:22 |只看该作者

这篇文我憋得痛苦无比写的也很奇怪是思路比较混乱的一篇如果大家觉得逻辑很奇怪的话直接告诉我哪里奇怪就可以了我努力的改

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huyilin
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板凳

发表于 2011-1-22 18:57:48 |只看该作者

写完之后没保存，结果就给关了...................想哭了...
好吧，锻炼记忆好了

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部落联盟five
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地板

发表于 2011-1-22 19:48:28 |只看该作者

3# huyilin 说不定你考试就考到那篇然后你就影响很深刻了嘿嘿

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huyilin
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5楼

发表于 2011-1-22 20:56:11 |只看该作者

4# 部落联盟five 呵呵，希望是啊

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6楼

发表于 2011-1-22 22:20:04 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 huyilin 于 2011-1-22 22:24 编辑

40 "Scholars and researchers shouldnot be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the largersociety. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests,however unusual oridio syncratic those interests may seem.
同意：人作为社会的一部分，的确摆脱不了自己的社会责任，但是作为一个个体，自己的兴趣爱好才能提供长久的动力
A:学者和研究人员作为社会的组成成员的一部分，的确摆脱不了社会的责任，他们的工作也摆脱不了社会的评价
B:但是如果过于注重通过社会对自己工作的判断来主导自己研究或者学习的方向的话，很有可能走入误区
C:个人的兴趣是非常重要的
(1)首先，可以为研究提供长久的动力
(2)其次，在如此纷繁复杂的社会大环境中为自己的前进指引方向
(3)个人的兴趣爱好无法被人理解可能是指一个片面的现象对于自己兴趣爱好的追求也不会妨碍到位社会做出贡献

Should scholars and researchers take thesociety’s welfare as their work’s direction or treat the personal interests asthe significant pursuance throughout their life time?(or后面的句子可以再精简一点)In my point of view, as a part of the society, they do cannot betraytheir social responsibility, while only the individual interests can providethe long-term and effective impetus for research and studies.（这里的转折似乎不太鲜明,while,in most cases, it is individual interests that could provide a long term……. ）
Human being cannot be separated from the community,thus everybody should shoulder reasonably(more or less) socialliability, which does not mean the individual aspiration is not permitted（总是觉得which从句不能很好的表明转折关系，我更倾向于简单的表达： However,it doesn’t mean that ）. We are closely connected with the society from the moment of our birth.The environmental surroundings(environment 可以去掉) influence the individual growth with specialized standards in eachrealm. Contributing and reciprocating(contribution and reciprocation) tothe society in one’s power is a wide-accepted conducting principle as a part ofthe mentioned standards. However, it doesn’t mean whole personal behaviorsshould be (must be(后面有个should be,尽量避免重复嘛)) excessively corresponded with thisnorm. A person’s dedication should be evaluated according to sundry aspectsincluding the substantial level, the social comportment and mental area. So thesocial responsibilities also can be divided into various domains: obeying theestablished laws is obviously included; accommodating is absolutely contained;promoting community’s development is definitely covered（三个排比显得有点造作，不过我不知道老美习不习惯这种写法,我觉可以直接 be divided into various domains: obeying the established laws,accommodating each other , and contributions to community）. In theother word(in other words), it is unnecessary for an individual toexorbitant(exorbitantly ) limit their studies within this fictitious scope.

(这一段看得有点纠结1.个人可以有自己的兴趣追求2.周围环境通过道德标准来影响人们，3.这些标准中间包含了一条：人们应该对社会做出贡献4.但是没必要刻意的去满足这条标准.5.人们的抱负及其社会价值可以从几个方面衡量6.从而社会责任也可以从几个方面来衡量7.因而我们没有必要把眼界限制在一个地方。

把这几点列出来之后，我觉得逻辑还是串得很好的（之前因为没看懂，所以干脆把每个点都列出来），但是确实也很复杂，要让人在短时间内明白，得注意句式的流畅和用词的精准性。
另外，最后一句的 this fictitious scope具体是指，好像没有说明白？

The academic research’s fruits indeed can be categorized into a kind ofcontribution（这一句话的在这的逻辑意义没太明白，结尾好像也说了这么一句）, while the progress of research is an individual action whichshould not easily influenced and intervened by the outside inducement. Ifresearchers keep their science action within a reasonable and acceptable level（range）, theydo have the power and freeness to let interests control their pursuance.Controvertibly, extremely consisting of the contributing principle may lead tounwanted results.(extremely consisting of？不妨用extremelyconforming to ) Because science’s creativity wouldbe restrained by some illusory rules and the judgment of researchers might beintervened by the society’s various standards. Take M.Servetus’s personalpursuance as an example. Religious thought is a preponderant ideology withinthe medieval European’s ideological system. The Christian church as theauthority evaluated their citizens’ contribution via a principle of notquerying the sanctity of the religious belief. However, Servutus bravelyquestioned the mainstream conviction with his insisting of pulmonarycirculatory system, which undertook the risk of destroying the existedsociety’s stability especially in that era. If Servutus submitted his “unusual”interests to the popular standard, this amazing scientific found would bemissed for another long period.

Thus, researchers and scholars definitely should treat their interests as asignificant direction of academic research in order to keep the blossom andmultiplicity of science’s development（blossom 呵呵，好有创意的表达啊）.Researches need people owning the characteristics of perseverance, acuteobservance（observation） and exploring ability which all can be originated from personalinterests. In addition, the complexity of the environment calls the personalinterests to maintain the appropriate progress of advance. As mentioned above,the social standards’ diversity will enhance the difficulty of reasonablejudgment in science’s development. Only the personality’s insistence frominterests can expel the various interferences from outside.

Generally speaking, the individual interests can promote the academicdevelopment which obviously can be treated as a contribution to the society（我觉得这句并不是文章里面强调的重点呵，为什么在结尾提这个呢？）. The researchers cannot extraordinarily obey the contributingprinciple at the expense of the personal interests which are also capable ofresulting the promoting the social welfare.

我觉得千寻这篇ISSUE 的逻辑应该还是很到位的，但是在表述上没有很好的把各个论点之间的递进或是并列关系表述明白,其实这些我觉得都是可以用一些简单的句子达到的, 如果没有一些直接一点的暗示的话，第一遍可能还真看不明白。
语言方面，我没太多的建议，因为自己也在纠结语言的问题，多看范文吧，虽说北美千篇一律，但是不可否认，在语言上，还是可以借鉴的。

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