[活动] CRACK 9T小组第十次作业----lizzy [复制链接]

lizzy1986
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长老一袋

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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-8-3 11:20:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing games teaches us about life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is somewhat a complicated question regarding about advantages and disadvantages of playing games, which is a ongoing action throughout our lives. In my point of view, playing games is of great help when it comes to teaching us about the essence of life.

Primarily, team-work spirit is gradually established during the process of playing games, which is critical to everyone's study and work. Common sense tells us the sense of team-work is developed effectively in the real actions instead of studying it by reading books. In the elementary school, and junior high school, I used to play games which required cooperation with other students. Therefore, when I began my further study in university, I performed quite well in teamwork for the reason that the sense of cooperating with others is established in my mind during the past years. In other words, playing games help me be prepared and suitable for my study, and even my work field which might put how to teach employees to cooperate with in the first place.

Also, the effect of being engaged in certain kind of games not only involves in the establishment of team-work spirit as mentioned above, but also in making the participants relaxed and learning how to enjoy other aspects of ordinary life. My brother, who works over 80 hours in a famous hospital, he tells me playing games with his daughter is a effective method to get rid of fatigue and unhappiness, and to maintain family members' love.

Some might argue that playing games can accelerate our competition sense, which makes one's life work under more and more tense situation, rather than teaches us how to live a cozy life. Nevertheless, work is just part of our life, and only when we find a balance between work and rest can we become a good master of life. In this sense, advantages of playing games still far outweigh disadvantages of it.

口语下午或者晚上上传。谢谢修改的同学，狠狠批吧，我老觉得作文找不到话说，说的都是废话。

[ 本帖最后由 lizzy1986 于 2007-8-3 11:22 编辑 ]

Shit happens.

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yeren7722
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-3 12:26:22 |只看该作者

多举例子...自己编.就好了..你看我的.都是编的例子..:loveliness:

Still up-and-down...

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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yeren7722
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板凳

发表于 2007-8-4 09:03:17 |只看该作者

It is somewhat a complicated question regarding about advantages and disadvantages of playing games, which is a ongoing action throughout our lives. In my point of view, playing games is of great help when it comes to teaching us about the essence of life.

Primarily, team-work spirit is gradually established during the process of playing games, which is critical to everyone's study and work. Common sense tells us the sense of team-work is developed effectively in the real actions instead of studying it by reading books. In the elementary school, and junior high school, I used to play games which required cooperation with other students. Therefore, when I began my further study in university, I performed quite well in teamwork for the reason that the sense of cooperating with others is (had been) established in my mind during the past years. In other words, playing games help me be prepared and suitable for my study, and even my work field which might put how to teach employees to cooperate with in the first place. (这一段看起有点罗嗦了哈:(,其实我觉得你可以把那个例子写详细点,你怎么样在play game的时候就有了teamwork spirit呢?比如说为了一个共同的目标,应该如何配合..something like this...这样就有话可写了.)

Also, the effect of being engaged in certain kind of games not only involves (注意 not only 与but also的并列关系,这里应该放在in的前面,因为后面是in并列)in the establishment of team-work spirit as mentioned above(这句建议简单点,虽然是过渡句,但是没有什么信息), but also in making the participants relaxed and learning(learn,应该是make sb do的结构吧) how to enjoy other aspects of ordinary life. My brother, who works over 80 hours(一天工作80hour呢?还是一年:)?) in a famous hospital, he(不要he了,句子太长了忘了主语在前面了吧:)) tells me playing games with his daughter is a(an) effective method to get rid of fatigue and unhappiness, and to maintain family members' love.(同样,要是觉得字数不够,这个例子可以多写几句,把play的过程写具体点)

(感觉加个连词比较好,但你后面有nevertheless,这里加however好像又不是太合适,你斟酌一下),Some might argue that playing games can accelerate our competition sense, which makes one's life work under (a) more and more tense situation, rather than teaches us how to live a cozy life. Nevertheless, work is just part of our life, and only when we find a balance between work and rest can we become a good master of life. In this sense, advantages of playing games still far outweigh disadvantages of it.(最后一段可以写得更好一点,把前面的总结一下,然后可以引用个谚语之类的,说明你觉得play game可以有好处.....后面写得好就可以使rater忘记你前面的缺点,个人观点哈:)..)

comments:1.总的来说文章观点明确，错误很少，用词也很合理，灵活
2.缺点是分对论点的支持上还有待改进,可以通过把例子编好一点来改进这一点:)

[ 本帖最后由 yeren7722 于 2007-8-4 09:16 编辑 ]

Still up-and-down...

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