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chengenhui
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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-7-19 22:35:14 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目
20The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."

正文
Merely based on unfounded asumption and dubious evidence ,the author draws a conclusion that the town council should enforce the limits on moped rentals. In order to support the conclusion ,the author points out that by limiting the number of rentals from 50per day to 30 per day, the number of accidents will be sure to reduce 50 percent . In addition, the author makes a anaology with the neighboring island of Torseau,  which achieved to reduce half of accidents last year  by limiting the moped rentals. However ,these alone neither constitute a logical argument in favor of the conclusion, nor provide compelling support making the argument sound. The author ignores certain important issues,which must be addressed to prove. In my point of view, the argument suffers from several flaws.

In the first place, the author assumes that to reduce the number of rental moped is necessary to reduce to accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. However, it is not necessarily the case. No evidence is stated in the argument to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that often pedestrains or those who own their own mopeds caused the accidents with mopeds, If so ,the measure of reduce the number of rental mopeds is of little use. There is another possibility that the mopeds in the Balmer island are too much, even if to reudce the number of moped from 50 per day to 30 per day has little effects. From the argument ,we don't know when the accidents often happened, perhaps in winter because of the wet weather condition. In this condition, the measure of limit the rental mopeds only in summer is useless.

In the second place, although there are points of comparsion , many dissimalitry are remained between two neighbouring towns ,Balmer Island and  Torseau Island. The arugment thus relying on that the condition of Balmer Island is analogous to that of Torseau island  in all aspects is so weak. It is ,for example, that  the total population in Torseau is much less than that in Balmer. And maybe the road condition in T is
much better than in B.  Or perhaps the people of Balmer who go to work and travel perfer to use mopeds ,while people of T always go to work by foot. In short, there are many difference between B and T . In either event ,relying on such a simple mimicry would be little effective.

To sum up, though the arguments seems to be plausible,in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in analysis the evidence which does not lead strong support  to what the author claims . To make the argument more convincing ,the author should also provide other powerful evidence to show the measurement effective. Only after that ,the argument would have been more thorough and adequate.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-20 at 00:30 ]

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tubage
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-19 22:55:23 |只看该作者

首段过于罗嗦，应简洁、提纲挈领为好

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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htpeng
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-19 23:18:06 |只看该作者

题目
20The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."

正文
Merely based on unfounded asumption and dubious evidence ,the author draws a conclusion that the town council should enforce the limits on moped rentals. In order to support the conclusion ,the author points out that by limiting the number of rentals from 50per day to 30 per day, the number of accidents will be sure to reduce 50 percent . In addition, the author makes a anaology with the neighboring island of Torseau,  which achieved to reduce half of accidents last year  by limiting the moped rentals. However ,these alone neither constitute a logical argument in favor of the conclusion, nor provide compelling support making the argument sound. The author ignores certain important issues,which must be addressed to prove. In my point of view, the argument suffers from several flaws.这个开头未免太长了,可以精简

In the first place, the author assumes that to reduce the number of rental moped is necessary to reduce to accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. However, it is not necessarily the case. No evidence is stated in the argument to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that often pedestrains or those who own their own mopeds caused the accidents with mopeds, 没必要If so ,the measure of reduce the number of rental mopeds is of little use. There is another possibility that the mopeds in the Balmer island are too much, even if to reudce the number of moped from 50 per day to 30 per day has little effects. From the argument ,we don't know when the accidents often happened, perhaps in winter because of the wet weather condition. In this condition, the measure of limit the rental mopeds only in summer is useless.觉得这个地方想的很有创意

In the second place, although there are points of comparsion很常见的拼写错误comparison , many dissimalitry are remained between two neighbouring towns ,Balmer Island and  Torseau Island. The arugment thus relying on that the condition of Balmer Island is analogous to that of Torseau island  in all aspects is so weak. It is ,for example, that  the total population in Torseau is much less than that in Balmer. And maybe the road condition in T is
much better than in B.  Or perhaps the people of Balmer who go to work and travel perfer to use mopeds ,while people of T always go to work by foot. In short, there are many difference between B and T . In either event ,relying on such a simple mimicry would be little effective.

To sum up, though the arguments seems to be plausible,in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in analysis the evidence which does not lead strong support  to what the author claims . To make the argument more convincing ,the author should also provide other powerful evidence to show the measurement effective. Only after that ,the argument would have been more thorough and adequate.

思路很好，但是只找两个错误是不是有点少了,还有语言似乎不够简练，给人的感觉像是在凑字数.

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abigred
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地板

发表于 2005-7-20 23:23:18 |只看该作者

20The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."

正文
Merely based on unfounded asumption and dubious evidence ,the author draws a conclusion that the town council should enforce the limits on moped rentals. In order to support the conclusion ,the author points out that by limiting the number of rentals from 50per day to 30 per day, the number of accidents will be sure to reduce 50 percent . In addition, the author makes a anaology with the neighboring island of Torseau,  which achieved to reduce half of accidents last year  by limiting the moped rentals. However ,these alone neither constitute a logical argument in favor of the conclusion, nor provide compelling support making the argument sound. The author ignores certain important issues,which must be addressed to prove. In my point of view, the argument suffers from several flaws.开头有点长了

In the first place, the author assumes that to reduce the number of rental moped is necessary to reduce to accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. However, it is not necessarily the case. No evidence is stated in the argument to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that often pedestrains or those who own their own mopeds caused the accidents with mopeds, If so ,the measure of reduce the number of rental mopeds is of little use. There is another possibility that the mopeds in the Balmer island are too much, even if to reudce the number of moped from 50 per day to 30 per day has little effects. From the argument ,we don't know when the accidents often happened, perhaps in winter because of the wet weather condition. In this condition, the measure of limit the rental mopeds only in summer is useless.

In the second place, although there are points of comparsion , many dissimalitry are remained between two neighbouring towns ,Balmer Island and  Torseau Island. The arugment thus relying on that the condition of Balmer Island is analogous to that of Torseau island  in all aspects is so weak. It is ,for example, that  the total population in Torseau is much less than that in Balmer. And maybe the road condition in T is much better than in B.  Or perhaps the people of Balmer who go to work and travel perfer to use mopeds ,while people of T always go to work by foot. In short, there are many difference between B and T . In either event ,relying on such a simple mimicry would be little effective. 最好还是首句提出false analogy比较鲜明
To sum up, though the arguments seems to be plausible,in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in analysis the evidence which does not lead strong support  to what the author claims . To make the argument more convincing ,the author should also provide other powerful evidence to show the measurement effective. Only after that ,the argument would have been more thorough and adequate是evidence adequate而不是argument.

再找一个逻辑错误批一下，就可以把字数增上去，而不用凑字数了。还有50％的reduce没有提及到呢

要做个透明的玻璃娃娃，哪怕被人伤害，也要晶莹透彻

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charleshuang
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5楼

发表于 2005-7-20 23:52:02 |只看该作者

Based on hpteng

正文
Merely based on unfounded asumption and dubious evidence ,the author draws a conclusion that the town council should enforce the limits on moped rentals. In order to support the conclusion ,the author points out that by limiting the number of rentals from 50per day to 30 per day, the number of accidents will be sure to reduce 50 percent . In addition, the author makes a anaology with the neighboring island of Torseau,  which achieved to reduce half of accidents last year  by limiting the moped rentals. However ,these alone neither constitute a logical argument in favor of the conclusion, nor provide compelling support making the argument sound. The author ignores certain important issues,which must be addressed to prove. In my point of view, the argument suffers from several flaws.这个开头未免太长了,可以精简

In the first place, the author assumes that to reduce the number of rental moped is necessary to reduce to accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. However, it is not necessarily the case. No evidence is stated in the argument to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that often pedestrains or those who own their own mopeds caused the accidents with mopeds, 没必要If so ,the measure of reduce the number of rental mopeds is of little use. There is another possibility that the mopeds in the Balmer island are too much, even if to reudce the number of moped from 50 per day to 30 per day has little effects. From the argument ,we don't know when the accidents often happened, perhaps in winter because of the wet weather condition. In this condition, the measure of limit the rental mopeds only in summer is useless.

In the second place, although there are points of comparsion很常见的拼写错误comparison , many dissimalitry are remained between two neighbouring towns ,Balmer Island and  Torseau Island. The arugment thus relying on that the condition of Balmer Island is analogous to that of Torseau island  in all aspects is so weak. It is ,for example, that  the total population in Torseau is much less than that in Balmer. And maybe the road condition in T is
much better than that in B.  Or perhaps the people of Balmer who go to work and travel perfer to use mopeds ,while people of T always go to work by foot. In short, there are many difference between B and T . In either event ,relying on such a simple mimicry would be little effective.

To sum up, though the arguments seems to be plausible,in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in analysis the evidence which does not lead strong support  to what the author claims . To make the argument more convincing ,the author should also provide other powerful evidence to show the measurement effective. Only after that ,the argument would have been more thorough and adequate.

感觉思路清晰，例子也都恰到好处。可以再加一段，总结其他不足。

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ardorous
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6楼

发表于 2005-7-21 00:36:09 |只看该作者

请帮我也拍一下

题目20The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette."The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals." 正文 Merely based on unfounded asumption and dubious evidence ,the author draws a conclusion that the town council should enforce the limits on moped rentals. In order to support the conclusion ,the author points out that by limiting the number of rentals from 50per day to 30 per day, the number of accidents will be sure to reduce 50 percent . In addition, the author makes a anaology with the neighboring island of Torseau, which achieved to reduce half of accidents last year by limiting the moped rentals. However ,these alone neither constitute a logical argument in favor of the conclusion, nor provide compelling support making the argument sound. The author ignores certain important issues,which must be addressed to prove. In my point of view, the argument suffers from several flaws.(没必要最后一句吧，前面一句已经说清楚了)In the first place, the author assumes that to reduce the number of rental moped is necessary to reduce to accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. However, it is not necessarily the case. No evidence is stated in the argument to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that often pedestrains or those who own their own mopeds caused the accidents with mopeds, If so ,the measure of reduce the number of rental mopeds is of little use. There is another possibility that the mopeds in the Balmer island are too much, even if to reudce the number of moped from 50 per day to 30 per day has little effects. From the argument ,we don't know when the accidents often happened, perhaps in winter because of the wet weather condition. In this condition, the measure of limit the rental mopeds only in summer is useless.（不错哦，范围，时间都有了）In the second place, although there are points of comparsion , many dissimalitry are remained between two neighbouring towns ,Balmer Island and Torseau Island. The arugment thus relying on that the condition of Balmer Island is analogous to that of Torseau island in all aspects is so weak. It is ,for example, that the total population in Torseau is much less than that in Balmer. And maybe the road condition in T is much better than in B. Or perhaps the people of Balmer who go to work and travel perfer to use mopeds ,while people of T always go to work by foot. In short, there are many difference between B and T . In either event ,relying on such a simple mimicry would be little effective.（提个意见，论证方式都是假设，太单一了）To sum up, though the arguments seems to be plausible,in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in analysis the evidence which does not lead strong support to what the author claims . To make the argument more convincing ,the author should also provide other powerful evidence to show the measurement effective. Only after that ,the argument would have been more thorough and adequate.（不错，有自己的摸板）
思路清晰，语言也还行吧
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

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