[i习作temp] issue41 期待互拍 [复制链接]

chengenhui
UID：200271

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 309
注册时间: 2005-3-12
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-26 22:31:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue41  第1篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户    共用时间：41分13秒    560 words
从2005年6月26日19时40分到2005年6月26日20时41分
------题目------
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
------正文------
The author asserts that human can be satisfied by the nonmainstream areas of inquiry, since they can meet human needs many times. To some extent, I agree with the author's opinion, that is, people can benefit from such inquiry, but if one rely on it too much, it also will cause negative effects.

To begin with, these nonmaistream areas of inquiry such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal play a considerable part in people's normal life. People have an intense curiosity of the unknown, and these nonmainstream inquiries cater to this request. Just as glanced at the monthly and weekly horoscope on the newspaper and magazine, no matter how forms they may vary, they are always the specific forecasts on your constellation's fortune the week or month to come. If you want to know to fate of your whole life, there are many other ways of fortune-telling such as palm-reading and Tarot cards. In the vague prediction of their destiny, people satisfy with their curiosity of future uncertainty.  The same applies when people make difficult decisions. The concern over the uncertain results of their decision always leads them to adopt nonmainstream means in order to achieve a better solution. This has been existing throughout the history and in all parts of the world. In ancient China, people used the shells or the bones of animals to forecast their results of their action; whereas, in the western world, astrology had been an important part of education from ancient Greece to the Renaissance.

Moreover, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry also have many other functions. In the first place, with limitation of human beings knowledge, people can not explain all the natural phenomena; which can be explained by the nonmainstream. In the second place, the emperor of a kingdom took advantage of these nonmainstream inquiries to rule his country. He always claimed that it is the God who entitle for him to rule the country, he could communicate with the God and bring the God's opinion to the public. If people believed in his claim, they would obey his orders without any questions. Last but not least, these nonmainstream inquiries can also provide resources to the modern research. For example, ancient Egyptians and Chinese recorded many phenomena of the astrology and concluded some regulations of them, while these records are the precious data for today research of astronomy.

However, if one depends on these nonmainstream areas too much, it will also bring some potential negative effects. After all, these nonmainstream are not rooted in reasons. For example, if one believes in it too much, he will think that all his fate has been destined by the God, there is no need for him to try his best for a better result, since whether he struggles or not, the final results are the same. When he fails at last, he will always blame the unfair of the God, rather than to find out the reason of failure on himself.

To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, which correlate with each other to generate an integrate whole and become more convincing than any single one, we may comfortable to say that nonmainstream is indispensable in our normal life, to some extent, it makes up the shortcomings of the mainstream inquiries. Meanwhile, people also should make use of it in a correct way.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-26 at 23:17 ]

8.1 上海财大

回应
0

使用道具举报

greenfruit
UID：2112472

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 65
注册时间: 2005-6-30
精华: 0
帖子: 0

沙发

发表于 2005-7-27 00:58:37 |只看该作者

-----题目------
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
------正文------
The author asserts that human can be satisfied by the nonmainstream areas of inquiry, since they can meet human needs many times. (many times?是什么意思？与主题无关？）To some extent, I agree with the author's opinion, that is, people can benefit from such inquiry, but if one rely（relies) on it too much, it also will cause negative effects.
issue中并不是说人会得到benefit，而是说通过满足人的需求而在社会起到重要作用，是否真的对个人有益并未说
To begin with, these nonmaistream areas of inquiry such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal play a considerable part in people's normal life. People have an intense curiosity of the unknown, and these nonmainstream inquiries cater to this request.Just as glanced at the monthly and weekly horoscope on the newspaper and magazine, no matter how forms they may vary（vary 可接form做宾语？）, they are always the specific forecasts on your constellation's fortune the week or month to come. If you want to know to fate of your whole life, there are many other ways of fortune-telling such as palm-reading and Tarot cards. In the vague prediction of their destiny, people satisfy with（去掉with) their curiosity of future uncertainty. The same applies when people make difficult decisions. The concern over the uncertain results of their decision always leads them to adopt nonmainstream means in order to achieve a better solution. This has been existing throughout the history and in all parts of the world. In ancient China, people used the shells or the bones of animals to forecast their results of their action; whereas, in the western world, astrology had been an important part of education from ancient Greece to the Renaissance.
一个是满足心里的不确定性，另一个是帮助做决定。观点清晰，但好像内容不够紧凑，是不是可以把句子写得精练一些，再加强句句之间的衔接
Moreover, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry also have many other functions. In the first place, with limitation of human beings knowledge, people can not explain all the natural phenomena; which can be explained by the nonmainstream. （这样说是不是可以太武断了？好像在否定科学）In the second place, the emperor of a kingdom took advantage of these nonmainstream inquiries to rule his country. He always claimed（用by claiming 来衔接？） that it is the God who entitle for him to rule the country, he could communicate with the God and bring the God's opinion to the public. If people believed in his claim, they would obey his orders without any questions. Last but not least, these nonmainstream inquiries can also provide resources to the modern research. For example, ancient Egyptians and Chinese recorded many phenomena of the astrology and concluded some regulations of them, while these records are the precious data for today research of astronomy.
感觉短句太多，考虑写些长句，两样相间才好

However, if one depends on these nonmainstream areas too much, it will also bring some potential negative effects. After all, these nonmainstream are not rooted in reasons. For example, if one believes in it too much, he will think that all his fate has been destined by the God, there is no need for him to try his best for a better result, since whether he struggles or not, the final results are the same. When he fails at last, he will always blame the unfair of the God, rather than to find out the reason of failure on himself.

To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, which correlate with each other to generate an integrate whole and become more convincing than any single one, we may comfortable to say that nonmainstream is indispensable in our normal life, to some extent, it makes up the shortcomings of the mainstream inquiries. Meanwhile, people also should make use of it in a correct way.

使用道具举报

greenfruit
UID：2112472

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 65
注册时间: 2005-6-30
精华: 0
帖子: 0

板凳

发表于 2005-7-27 01:09:26 |只看该作者

从两方面来论证非主流领域的作用，很全面，觉得在第一段的论证可以再深入一点，指出在社会起到怎样的作用（play a vital role?)

文章的思路非常清楚，从正反两面说作用，尤其是每段的首句，很好地概括了大意，主要是段内的句句之间再加强衔接，并且能够长短句交替使用，就会更好:)

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

使用道具举报