寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › Issue44

返回列表

查看: 1538|回复: 5

[i习作temp] Issue44 [复制链接]

dinddind2003
UID: 196353

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 0
寄托币: 1477
注册时间: 2005-2-19
精华: 0
帖子: 35

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-29 21:29:52 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue44  第2篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户    共用时间：203分21秒    413 words
从2005年6月27日16时28分到2005年6月27日19时203分
提纲：1科学研究带来了很多问题
   2 但是脱离人们的使用，仅仅是科学研究是不会产生好的或者坏的问题的，
3 科学研究可以开阔人们的视野让人们支配自己周围的世界，
------题目------
Government should not fund any scientific research whose consequences, either medical or ethical, are unclear.
------正文------
The author claims that the research whose consequences are unclear should not receive government's fund. It is true that the results of many scientific research are unclear, even may bring us evil, but scientific research also solve many problems and enlarge our views. Government as a chief financial backer should fund scientific research even its results are unclear.

Admittedly, some results of the research cause many problems. To illustrate this point clearly, there are two examples: in medical, people discover several kinds of bacteria which severely threaten people's lives and a few people even would like use these discoveries in the war; in ethical, clone is a long-term controversial problem that the clone people might be treated unfairly. There are still more problems such as war, pollution and noisy and so on seem like result from scientific research. In this sense, people may meet many hidden danger which be brought by consequence of some research.

However, hardly any problem was caused merely by scientific research which was only a exploring of the unknown world and which could not result in any thing ether good or bad without human using. For example, if people use the new discovered kind of bacterial in curing or industry， many patients may be cured or the world's economic may has a revolutionary improvement; If people clone human's body organs and use them in medical many mortal deceases might be conquered. So, people can void many harmless through the scientific research if people really want to.

Furthermore, scientific research as a way in which people enlarge their views and a method through which people take everything around them in control gives human beings improvements nearly in every field. In human history, people use scientific research to explain unknown world and enlarge their views. When people know the objective reason why the thing they study happened, they try to control this thing, .For example, in medical, people have already largely prolonged human's longevity compared to hundreds years ago, and people are still researching how to control human beings longevity through genetic project. Since scientific research increases human's knowledge, then human use their knowledge to improve their quantity of life, assume that when everyone live a comfortable life, maybe hardly anyone would like to spend time in thinking of troublesome problems in ethical if there are still any..

To sum up, although people may face some problems if several scientific researches are carried on. In fact, people can avoid much unhappiness if they use the consequences of these researches properly, So although people can not actually know what a scientific research may bring them, government should still fund it.

回应
0

使用道具举报

dr_green
UID: 193584

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 677
注册时间: 2005-1-26
精华: 2
帖子: 0

沙发

发表于 2005-7-30 21:53:35 |只看该作者

改好了～

The author claims that the research whose consequences are unclear should not receive government's fund. It is true that the results of many scientific research are unclear, even may bring us evil, but scientific research also solve many problems and enlarge our views.这后半句的语气有点轻了作为你的观点的最有力支持我觉得把这半句话单出来一句加强语气比如”the main reason/purpose of scientific research is..”什么的我一时想不到很有力度的形容词反正我的意思就是强调一下这半句话啦呵呵 Government as a chief financial backer should fund scientific research even its results are unclear.

Admittedly, some results of the research cause many problems. To illustrate this point clearly, there are two examples: in medical, people discover several kinds of bacteria which severely threaten people's lives and a few people even would like to use these discoveries in the war; in ethical 这个形容词可以这么用吗我不是很清楚你要是确定拜托告诉我一声哦^_^, clone is a long-term controversial problem that the clone people might be treated unfairly. There are still more problems such as war, pollution and noisy noise and so on seem like result from scientific research.这里的表述是不是有点不准确呢 war result from scientific research? 应该是在说war造成的巨大损失？ In this sense, people may meet many hidden danger which be was brought by consequence of some research.

However, hardly any problem was caused merely directly会不会更好一点还是我理解错了你的意思。。 by scientific research which was only a an exploring exploration 查了一下字典好像exploring不是这个意思 of the unknown world and which could not result in any thing anything ether either good or bad without human using. For example, if people use the new discovered kind of bacterial in curing or industry， many patients may be cured or the world's economic may has a revolutionary improvement; If people clone human's body organs and use them in medical , many mortal deceases might be conquered. So, people can void avoid？ many harmless 这前半句是不是漏了什么词？好像读不通的说 through the scientific research if people really want to.

Furthermore, scientific research as a way in which people enlarge their views and a method through which people take everything around them in control gives human beings improvements nearly in every field. In human history, people use scientific research to explain unknown world and enlarge their views. When people know the objective reason why the thing they study happened,这句话有点怪。。。 they try to control this thing. For example, in medical, people have already largely prolonged human's longevity compared to hundreds of years ago, and people are still researching on how to control human beings longevity through genetic project. Since scientific research increases human's knowledge, then 可以不要then human use their knowledge to improve their quantity of life, assume that when everyone live a comfortable life, maybe hardly anyone would like to spend time in thinking of troublesome problems in ethical if there are still any.这个不好意思。。这最后一句话是什么意思呀。。

To sum up, although people may face some problems if several scientific researches are carried on. In fact, people can avoid much unhappiness if they use the consequences of these researches properly, So although people can not actually know what a scientific research may bring them, government should still fund it.这里要不要再提一下为什么是政府投钱你在开头说过但是通篇论证中没有提到过政府的作用如果结尾不说读者大概要忘记了

你的思路是：虽然科学研究可能产生危害性的后果――但是这些后果不是科学研究直接导致的而是人类在不好的地方运用了这些科学研究的成果所以错不在研究本身――并且科学研究可以提高人类对不良后果的控制能力――所以即使结果不明朗政府仍然应该投钱
我觉得总体的论证思路很清楚的不过论证的过程好像有点模糊有几个地方我没太看懂。。

8.16 BJ
we fight

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

使用道具举报

dinddind2003
UID: 196353

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 0
寄托币: 1477
注册时间: 2005-2-19
精华: 0
帖子: 35

板凳

发表于 2005-7-30 23:09:28 |只看该作者

in ethic应该可以了吧，意思是在伦理上
caused directly 确实是我的意思，你比我还理解我呢，呵呵
exploration 是我想表达的，我当时也查了词典，可是没找到名词，一时就用动词ing代替，没想到弄巧成拙了
For example, if people use the new discovered kind of bacterial in curing or industry，（如果人们把新发现的细菌用于治疗或工业） many patients may be cured or the world's economic may has a revolutionary improvement（许多病人可能会康复或者世界经济会有革命性变化）; If people clone human's body organs and use them in medical , many mortal deceases might be conquered. So, people can void avoid？ many harmless 这前半句是不是漏了什么词？好像读不通的说。
，不好意思，我想表达的意思写在括号里了，连起来读就行了，我也不大会表达，当时真伤脑筋呢，你有好方法吗？指点一下阿
When people know the objective reason why the thing they study happened,这句话有点怪。。。，我的意思是当人们知道了可观原因（然后是定语从句：为什么他们研究的事会发生）连起来就是：当人们知道了为什么他们研究的事会发生的可观原因
Since scientific research increases human's knowledge, then 可以不要then human use their knowledge to improve their quantity of life, assume that when everyone live a comfortable life, maybe hardly anyone would like to spend time in thinking of troublesome problems in ethical if there are still any.这个不好意思。。这最后一句话是什么意思呀。。这也是我写不好的一句，我想说：科技扩大了人们的视野，然后人们就可以改善自己的生活质量，设想如果人人都过着舒适的生活，就没有人去想那些麻烦的伦理问题了，如果那时还有的话。

如果这些话都表达清楚了，那么论证过程还是模糊吗？
最后是应该加上政府的原因可能文章的结构就要改改了，只在最后一段提一下你觉得够吗？
还有多谢你改的那么仔细，我收获很大阿

使用道具举报

dr_green
UID: 193584

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 677
注册时间: 2005-1-26
精华: 2
帖子: 0

地板

发表于 2005-7-31 09:20:30 |只看该作者

in ethnic 我想应该可以吧我也不太有把握或者in term of ethnic? from an ethnical point of view?
For example 那句怪我没说清楚我想问的是So, people can void many harmless句是什么意思＝P 你打了括号的那句我再想想～
那个我要出去一下下午回来接着往后看哦～～^_^

8.16 BJ
we fight

使用道具举报

dr_green
UID: 193584

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 677
注册时间: 2005-1-26
精华: 2
帖子: 0

5楼

发表于 2005-7-31 14:55:58 |只看该作者

回来了～

Since scientific research increases human's knowledge,then human use their knowledge to improve their quantity of life, assume that when everyone live a comfortable life, maybe hardly anyone would like to spend time in thinking of troublesome problems in ethical if there are still any
这句话怎么说呢我的想法好像刚好和你反着＝P 我是觉得人只有在物质生活的到基本满足之后才有功夫和心情去考虑ethnical problems 而且这种问题是无穷无尽想不完的。。。因为时代在发展不同的时代总有不同的问题或者对同一个问题有不同的答案

谢谢你的夸奖啦哈哈哈我改别人的文章也是很认真的学习嘛只有改的认真才能学到好东西对吧对吧
一起加油～～

8.16 BJ
we fight

使用道具举报