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[i习作temp] Issue7 技术类，高频，有拍必回,谢谢啦！ [复制链接]

hohoease
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-8-10 14:09:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

“The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.”

The speaker thinks that the video camera has become a more important form of documentation than written records in that it provides an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life. Admittedly, the video camera provides a better method of objectively and accurately recording almost all the events in the modern society than the written records, its role is to some extent overrated by the speaker.

Since video camera came into beings, our world has been experiencing an unexpected glorious information era. The dream of re-experiencing the past seems come true by recording people's images and actions by the video cameras. The video camera shows us such a vivid world of the past that no other methods of recording, such as written records, can compete with it. For instance, without a video camera, how can we record the beautiful sounds of the symphony and how can we simultaneously put down the elegance performances given by the conductor in a concert? And, pitifully, the written records can only give us descriptive words without showing us the music and the pictures. Moreover, despite of this advantage, this kind of records is much more objective than written records, for all the authors of written records cannot avert putting personal feelings into what they are writing.

Though the merits of this new invention are very obvious, it still cannot take the place of written records. For one thing, the video camera can only record people's countenances and behaviors, failing to read and record what people have in their minds. Thus, its records are incomplete. Secondly, not all the citizens can afford or willing to buy a video camera and the discs which is used to keep the records ,so that most of the daily happenings can only be kept in the written ways like diaries. Thirdly, though with the rapid development of technology, the video camera improves at a rapid rate, it is still not convenient and safe to bring it in all the cases that need to make records, for the video might be damaged by some accidents or the battery may be low.

On the contrary, the written records are to some extent superior. First, works like novels and poems should better be kept in the written ways. Also, written records is one of the best way to record people's ideas, feelings, the things which we refine from a mass of works, and our accomplishments, such as the results and statistics of a survey. Undoubtedly, all the needs above cannot be done by the video camera.

To sum up, the video camera and the written records both have their advantages and disadvantages, so the importance of both of them cannot be overrated or neglected. The written records are more common in our daily life and the video camera complement the written records and shows us a more vivid, colorful view of the recorded world.
回拍请跟帖或留链接。:)

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-10 at 14:16 ]

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蚱蜢舟
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沙发

发表于 2005-8-10 14:13:40 |只看该作者

加油

留个连接交流一下好了https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

UMD

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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hohoease
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板凳

发表于 2005-8-10 14:16:08 |只看该作者

谢谢。现在就去看。:)

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kolu_ren
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地板

发表于 2005-8-11 09:05:17 |只看该作者

我觉得从行文来看是蛮流畅的，但感觉论证都有些浮于表面，没有抓住实质，论证都是在同一层面没有层次感，建议多看看老外280之类的文章或者去看看精华区的文章

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hohoease
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5楼

发表于 2005-8-11 09:28:35 |只看该作者

Originally posted by kolu_ren at 2005-8-11 09:05
我觉得从行文来看是蛮流畅的，但感觉论证都有些浮于表面，没有抓住实质，论证都是在同一层面没有层次感，建议多看看老外280之类的文章或者去看看精华区的文章

:)非常感谢！

我的10g issue 总结

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=398586&extra=page%3D1

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snake_conan
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6楼

发表于 2005-8-11 10:28:20 |只看该作者

我觉得这篇文章应该写得中立一点！
1）video camera使我们对消息了解更直观，配合先进技术流传快而广，但是不能把整个事情记录全，这样我们所看到的只是整个事情的片段，无法全面认识真相，经常导致错误结论。
2）written recording研究时间长，不够直观，但可以对事情进行全面认识分析，古代的都是written recording，可以直接读取，不像video，如果没有电就无法读取。
3）两者配合

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7楼

发表于 2005-8-11 10:31:34 |只看该作者

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

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hohoease
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8楼

发表于 2005-8-11 10:41:57 |只看该作者

谢谢楼上的提纲。：）现在去回拍啦。

我的10g issue 总结

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=398586&extra=page%3D1

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ahqiu
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9楼

发表于 2005-8-11 11:18:08 |只看该作者

The speaker thinks that the video camera has become a more important form of documentation than written records in that it provides an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life. Admittedly, the video camera provides a better method of objectively and accurately recording almost all the events in the modern society than the written records, its role is to some extent overrated by the speaker.看完全文来看你的开头，强调的重点是后面，可是你的这句话头重脚轻，我一开始以为你要同意有保留，看到最后才发现，我大致写了一个，按照你的文章，一家之言，写得不好，参考吧I have to concede that video camera provides objective and accurate records of people’s life; however, the written records have the advantages of recording the ideas in human minds and lend people with much convenience in the documentation according to daily life.]
Since video camera came into beings, our world has been experiencing an unexpected glorious information era. The dream of re-experiencing the past seems （to）come true by recording people's images and actions by the video cameras. The video camera shows us such a vivid world of the past that no other methods of recording, such as written records, can compete with it. For instance, without a video camera, how can we record the beautiful sounds of the symphony and how can we simultaneously put down the elegance performances given by the conductor in a concert? And, pitifully, the written records can only give us descriptive words without showing us the music and the pictures. Moreover, despite of this advantage, this kind of records is much more objective than written records, （这一点可以展开来写的，怎么结束了，呵呵）for all the authors of written records cannot avert putting personal feelings into what they are writing.（如果要延伸，就举个例子，这样比较有说服力，不是随便一个advantage就往上一摆，不行的）最后总结一下，与前面有个照应哈

Though the merits of this new invention are very obvious, it still cannot take the place of written records. For one thing, the video camera can only record people's countenances and behaviors, failing to read （read???英文可以这么修辞吗，拟人？慎用）and record what people have in their minds. Thus, its records are incomplete.（展开来写，还是老话，不是提一个点放在那就OK） Secondly, not all the citizens can afford or willing to buy a video camera and the discs which is used to keep the records ,so that most of the daily happenings can only be kept in the written ways like diaries. (解释与前面afford没关系阿，日记不用video camera是因为can not afford??我怎么觉得是受其他条件的限制呢，比如我一天做了很多事不可能都用camera 记录吧，这是convenience的问题)Thirdly, though with the rapid development of technology, the video camera improves at a rapid rate, it is still not convenient and safe（safe??手机也有同样的问题，人们也在用） to bring it in all the cases that need to make records, for the video might be damaged by some accidents or the battery may be low.这不是在讨论重不重要，谁的有点多，谁就重要吗，你要说说为什么生活中离了它不行，而不是人们的经济条件所限，买不起不能说它不重要。我是这么认为的，1和3 是可以展开的，2可以去掉
On the contrary, （强烈的转折，不懂）the written records are to some extent superior. （题目说的是在documentation上，novel??不过也许我理解德狭隘了）First, works like novels and poems should better be kept in the written ways. Also, written records is one of the best way to record people's ideas, feelings, the things which we refine from a mass of works, and our accomplishments, such as the results and statistics of a survey. （这点不错）Undoubtedly, all the needs above cannot be done by the video camera.
To sum up, the video camera and the written records both have their advantages and disadvantages, so the importance of both of them cannot be overrated or neglected. The written records are more common in our daily life and the video camera complement the written records and shows us a more vivid, colorful view of the recorded world.
结尾好像是中立的态度，茫然？？？
自己的立场要明确的说
结尾不改了，没看懂你的态度
语言不错的，特别是B1不过后面就大打折扣了，难道写的没有信心了？
文章比较散，B2和B3有重复的内容，文章的组织需要多花功夫，论证的环节比较薄弱
例子和说理都要有，是限时写的吗，感觉缺乏时间好好思考的那种
建议：用我写的开头作B2和B3文章会显得有条理一些，呵呵，一家之说
加油加油哈！！

[ Last edited by ahqiu on 2005-8-11 at 11:21 ]

谢谢你，虽然我只想亲吻一片雪花，你却给了我银色的世界。

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