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[i习作temp] issue10 fantasy小组24日作业 [复制链接]

cxlbread84
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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-8-24 17:44:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

10. "Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

提纲
1．政府应该给主要城市财政支持，同时不能忽略towns
2．为什么支持主要城市，
3． Towns也有很多有价值得，我们不能忽略
4．是否支持取决于它的历史价值，不是城市大小

Whether governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive is a heated debate nowadays. As far as I am concerned, it is necessary for governments to do so, and the governments also should not neglect those small cities and towns.

To begin with, governments should give those major cities enough financial support, because there are many old buildings needed repaired or renewed. In history, they may play a vital role as culture centers, politic centers, communication centers or all of those. Therefore, even today they can reveal a nation's cultural traditions. For example, Beijing was the capital of Ming and Qing Dynasty, so the palaces there reveal the cultures then. Myriad of gems and numerous paintings are showed in the Forbidden City while the Great Wall is a document of our development of nation defense. Similar cases are also abundant. Every year lots of travellers from all of the country visit there, so our cultural traditions are seminated.

However, to claim that it is primarily in cities that a nation’s cultural traditions are preserved and generated is a bit too haste. There are also lots of culture traditions in towns and villages. Some of these small towns were major cities in history, but due to war or other reasons, they became declined. In this case, these towns also reveal our traditions. For example, Lan Zhou, which was once a big city in the Silk Way, but dilapidated in the deteriorated environment, documented the cultures then. Our government should not ignore it just because it is a small town now. Furthermore, although some of these small cities are not famous, they reveal some important customs of our ancestors. Take Nanjing, a small town in Fujian Province as a case in point. The houses in Nanjing were round. With scrutiny, we can find their walls were made of sand and soil rather than bricks, and usually were one meter board with some holes every three or four meters. They built houses in this way in order to prevent their houses from robbers and thieves. A visit to Nanjing can tell us the condition our ancestors lived and the way they fight against those robbers and thieves. As towns and villages also play a significant role in generating our cultures, governments should give them financial support.

Given above, both major cities and small cities and towns have many cultural traditions deserved to be protected, and all of them contribute to the preservation and generation of our nation’s culture traditions. What matters is due to their values in history instead of whether it is a major city or a small city. Only in this way can governments preserve and generate culture traditions most effectively and efficiently.

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cxlbread84
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沙发

发表于 2005-8-24 17:47:55 |只看该作者

今天尝试用计时器大，好不习惯啊，那界面太窄，打一会就换行
打到下面就看不到开头
大家有没有什么体会，交流一下吧

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forevera
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板凳

发表于 2005-8-24 19:07:35 |只看该作者

Whether governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive is a heated debate nowadays. As far as I am concerned, it is necessary for governments to do so, and the governments also should not neglect those small cities and towns.

To begin with, governments should give those major cities enough financial support, because there are many old buildings needed repaired or renewed. In history, they may play a vital role as culture centers, politic centers, communication centers or all of those 指的是哪些？. Therefore, even today they can reveal a nation's cultural traditions. For example, Beijing was the capital of Ming and Qing Dynasty, so the palaces there reveal the cultures then. Myriad of gems and numerous paintings are showed in the Forbidden City while the Great Wall is a document of our development of nation defense. Similar cases are also abundant. Every year lots of travellers from all of the country visit there, so our cultural traditions are seminated.这句有点跑，题上并没有说文化传播问题

However, to claim that it is primarily in cities that a nation’s cultural traditions are preserved and generated is a bit too haste. There are also lots of culture traditions in towns and villages.感觉这句有点别扭，即不是一整段的TS，又不是段内的分TS，最好合到上一句中去。 Some of these small towns were major cities in history, but due to war or other reasons, they became declined. In this case, these towns also reveal our traditions. For example, Lan Zhou, which was once a big city in the Silk Way, but dilapidated in the deteriorated environment, documented the cultures then. Our government should not ignore it just because it is a small town now. Furthermore, although some of these small cities are not famous, they reveal some important customs of our ancestors。Take Nanjing南京？, a small town in Fujian Province as a case in point. The houses in Nanjing were round. With scrutiny, we can find their walls were made of sand and soil rather than bricks, and usually were one meter board with some holes every three or four meters. They built houses in this way in order to prevent their houses from robbers and thieves. A visit to Nanjing can tell us the condition our ancestors lived and the way they fight against those robbers and thieves. As towns and villages also play a significant role in generating our cultures, governments should give them financial support.感觉这段中的2点分开论述有点不太好，因为第2点完全可以归到第一点中去，这样会让人感觉思路不够广，其实还可以说小城市中的文化最醇厚，没有被太多modernization影响，还有小城市的文化更detailed，而大城市中保留的东西都只是浓缩后的结果。

Given above, both major cities and small cities and towns have many cultural traditions deserved to be protected, and all of them contribute to the preservation and generation of our nation’s culture traditions. What matters is due to their values in history instead of whether it is a major city or a small city. Only in this way can governments preserve and generate culture traditions most effectively and efficiently.

总体感觉内容不够充实，多开阔一点思路。。

有时间看看我10
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=325483

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fancing
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地板

发表于 2005-8-24 19:50:02 |只看该作者

Whether governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive is a heated debate nowadays. As far as I am concerned, it is necessary for governments to do so, and the governments also should not neglect those small cities and towns.

To begin with, governments should give those major cities enough financial support, because there are many old buildings needed repaired or renewed. In history, they may play a vital role as culture centers, politic centers, communication centers or all of those. Therefore, even today they can reveal a nation's cultural traditions. For example, Beijing was the capital of Ming and Qing Dynasty, so the palaces there reveal the cultures then. Myriad of gems and numerous paintings are showed in the Forbidden City while the Great Wall is a document of our development of nation defense. Similar cases are also abundant. Every year lots of travelers from all of the country visit there, so our cultural traditions are seminated. 论证不错，如果例子后面重申一下本段的thesis就更好啦，我觉得哦

However, to claim that it is primarily in cities that a nation’s cultural traditions are preserved and generated is a bit too haste. There are also lots of culture traditions in towns and villages. Some of these small towns were major cities in history, but due to war or other reasons, they became declined. In this case, these towns also reveal our traditions. For example, Lan Zhou, which was once a big city in the Silk Way, but dilapidated in the deteriorated environment, documented the cultures then. Our government should not ignore it just because it is a small town now. Furthermore, although some of these small cities are not famous, they reveal some important customs of our ancestors. Take Nanjing, 这是什么地方，不是南京吧… a small town in Fujian Province as a case in point. The houses in Nanjing were round. With scrutiny, we can find their walls were made of sand and soil rather than bricks, and usually were one meter board with some holes every three or four meters. They built houses in this way in order to prevent their houses from robbers and thieves. A visit to Nanjing can tell us the condition our ancestors lived and the way they fight against those robbers and thieves. As towns and villages also play a significant role in generating our cultures, governments should give them financial support.这里例子举得不错，不过把traditions主要限于建筑物反映了

Given above, both major cities and small cities and towns have many cultural traditions deserved to be protected, and all of them contribute to the preservation and generation of our nation’s culture traditions. What matters is due to their values in history instead of whether it is a major city or a small city. Only in this way can governments preserve and generate culture traditions most effectively and efficiently.

觉得这种写法是条理最清晰的，值得学习（个人之见，因为我被这种题目困扰好久）
看追星箭特训越多越怕写跑题，不知道这样的题目在最后能不能提出一个政府如何选择资助的标准呢

9月7日AW
10月15日TOEFL
10月22日GRE
Girl, Cheer up^^

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cxlbread84
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5楼

发表于 2005-8-24 22:33:15 |只看该作者

多谢二位指点，古道西风真是高手啊，多谢这几天指点
fancing 你提的意见我本想第三段写，但时间不够了，就草草结尾，不过感觉还算完整
我本来想加一段支助金多少取决于其贡献和维修难度，就像长城比南靖土楼需要更多钱

Nanjing 是南靖自然保护区，我们厦大生物系实习的地方，我也一直郁闷，所以附上同位语说明，无奈南京太有名啦，哈哈

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cxlbread84
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6楼

发表于 2005-8-24 22:55:46 |只看该作者

关于all of those, 我的意思是说这城市同时有这些功能culture，communication。
可能没表达清。古道你能提点建议吗？先谢啦

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forevera
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7楼

发表于 2005-8-25 07:59:59 |只看该作者

其实说了那么多center已经够了，就没有必要在说有这些功能culture，communication了，如果非要说表达也不是太好表达
may play a vital role as culture centers, politic centers, communication centers，and even if not centers, they function vitally in cluture and communication.
不过感觉这样的表达方式也不太好。。就直接去掉吧。

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