[a习作temp] Argument71 寄托4人组 8-28 [复制链接]

bridgewalker
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-8-28 15:19:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument71: 316 words 25 minutes
Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.
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In this argument, the speaker tries to convince us that by using the new copper-extraction technologies, the amount of electricity in the copper-extraction industry would significantly drop. Although it sounds reasonable at the first glance, a careful analysis reveals that it suffers from several critical flaws which severely undermine the validity of its reasoning.

To begin with, whether the new copper-extraction technologies are feasible is open to doubt. As the speaker says, new copper-extraction technologies can be effective in saving electricity when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. The speaker has not provided any information about the ores used in copper-extraction industry. It is quite possible that major part of the ores is of low copper, thus the new copper-extraction technologies might not be effective in saving electricity during extraction.

Moreover, given that most ores used in copper extraction industry are of high copper and the new copper-extraction technologies are applicable, the decline of electricity is also questionable. Although new technologies can save up to 40 percent electricity than the older method, if the there were large amount of ores to extract, the total amount of electricity that used during extraction might not decline or even increase.

In addition, the speaker assumes that electricity consumption in the copper-extraction industry only comes from the process of copper extraction. Common sense tells us that electricity in a factory is not only used in the producing process, but also various other parts such as illumination, repair, and operation of other facilities such as air-conditioners. If these possibilities cannot be ruled out, the speaker’s assertion would be vulnerable.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive according to flaws listed above. To strengthen the reasoning, the speaker should provide additional detailed information about the proportion of copper in ores used in extraction. Furthermore, whether most of the electricity is consumed by the new copper-extraction process should be found out.

计时后才开始审题，25分钟写完，检查了两段。最后共有3个拼写错误。
字数好少！而且攻击点好像不多！我最先只找出2个，第3个是后来才想起来的，而且也不知道恰不恰当！
大家指点一下！

Goodall's mother once told her:
"Jane, if you really want to do something, you work hard, you stick to it until there's an opportunity."

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vivimath
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沙发

发表于 2005-8-28 15:45:00 |只看该作者

也可能新技术有缺点，致使可能没有工厂敢用

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meauto
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板凳

发表于 2005-8-28 18:10:13 |只看该作者

ZHAN~

我想要一张去Syracuse的机票T_T

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meauto
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地板

发表于 2005-8-28 18:43:08 |只看该作者

In this argument, the speaker tries to convince us that by using the new copper-extraction technologies, the amount of electricity in the copper-extraction industry would significantly drop. Although it sounds reasonable at the first glance,总觉得听和看都出现在一个句子里有点怪。请教下。 a careful analysis reveals that it the argumentsuffers from several critical flaws which severely undermine the validity of its reasoning.

To begin with, whether the new copper-extraction technologies are feasibleefficient in dealing with all kinds of ores is open to doubt. As the speaker says, new copper-extraction technologies can be effective in saving electricity when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. The speaker has not provided any information about the ores used in copper-extraction industry. It is quite possible that major part of the ores is of low copper, thus the new copper-extraction technologies might not be effective in saving electricity during extraction.
1，含铜量低的时候新技术的表现不知道。你写了这个
2，含铜量高的时候新技术不一定划算。
题目是说含量高的时候，处理相同量的ORE，新技术节约电。但是他没有提到同时铜的产量。实际上，应该在处理相同的ORE，并且产生相同量的COPPER的时候，比较新旧技术的耗电量才是有意义的。
Moreover, given that most ores used in copper extraction industry are of high copper and the new copper-extraction technologies are applicable, theassumed decline of electricity is also questionable. Although new technologies can save up to 40 percent electricity than the older method, if the there were large amount of ores to extract,larger amount of ores than before the total amount of electricity that used during extraction might not decline or even increase.
3，其它程序耗电，总提取量上升，都有可能加大耗电量。这两个可以并在一起写。
In addition, the speaker assumes that electricity consumption in the copper-extraction industry only comes from the process of copper extraction. Common sense tells us that electricity in a factory is not only used in the producing process, but also in various other parts such as illumination, repair,修理什么呢？人家是提纯工作的 and operation of other facilities such as air-conditioners. If these possibilities cannot be ruled out, the speaker’s assertion would be vulnerable.unconvincing

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive according to flaws listed above. To strengthen the reasoning, the speaker should provide additionaldelete detailed information about the proportion of copper in ores used in extraction. Furthermore, whether most of the electricity is consumed by the new copper-extraction process should be found out.take into consideration
4，最后写个新设备的投资问题。

我想要一张去Syracuse的机票T_T

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