寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › issue208 (gogogo)一不小心冲到了580,请高手指点一下!谢 ...

返回列表

查看: 933|回复: 4

[i习作temp] issue208 (gogogo)一不小心冲到了580,请高手指点一下!谢先! [复制链接]

yunziluo
UID: 2164829

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 1167
注册时间: 2005-12-6
精华: 0
帖子: 2

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2006-1-14 01:26:10 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

第四周作业
第三次作业：
Issue208."The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people." 208．人们的眼神、衣着和行动表现了他们的态度和兴趣。你可以通过观察人们的外表和行为来获知这个社会的想法和价值

写作提纲：
1，赞成作者的观点。
2，衣着能反应一个社会的意识形态和人们的精神状态。文革时人们都穿一样的衣服，打补丁，戴毛主席像章。
3，衣着能反应出一个社会的价值取向。当前中国，人们都有买名牌的倾向。因为财富是这个时代鉴别人社会地位的标准。
4，当然，也有人穿的不合规范，青年人的牛仔裤，文化衫。这显示出他们对主流价值观的拒绝和反抗。
5，结尾，从时代和不同人群来看，衣着，外表确实能反应出社会的意识形态和价值取向。

Can the superficial things such as the way people look, dress, and act reveal people's attitudes, interests and even the ideas and values of a society? I have to concede that it is true. Because the look, dress and act are the fundamental factors associated with people living, by analyzing them carefully, we can exhume people's attitudes and interests and society's ideas and values hiding in depth. I would provide some facts I have experienced to discuss the problem.

To begin with, I deem that the way people dress can reveal their spirit and society's ideology. A case in point, by documentary film and my parents description, I found that almost all the people of china in last century 70's dress in the same way which included the same design called "Sun Yat-sen’s uniform", the same fabric, the same color blue, black or green. It is hardly to imagine for us today. However, the way people dress exactly presented the conservative, uniform, and eliminating-individual society ideas. At that time, all the people have a common dream to realize communism and a steady belief to follow chairman Mao. People wear badge of chairman Mao’s image and intently patch on their clothes and trousers. Why did people do this? Because wearing more badges of Mao’s image express people's allegiance to chairman Mao, more patches on clothes and trousers represent people's spurning cakes and ale which is regard as decadence by society's mainstream ideas. Thus, a society's intangible ideas and values can be visualized by dressing and looking of people.

Perhaps, those who content with my opinion would argue that the way people dress reveal society's ideas and values in a exceptional society background, but in a open and free society background it does not as the same. Admittedly, society's ideas and values might be hided deeply and expressed ambiguously by dressing in a open and democratic background, but a careful examination would reveal the clues of traces of society's ideas and values. For example, today most Chinese people dose not believe communism and they dress differently from each other rather than the same way in the past. However, they have a new common ground: appetite for famous brand, such as fashion brand Chanel, Gucci, Christian Dior and so forth. Sometimes, people are willing to spend much high prize to by a little thing such as hair lace, glove, wallet and so on. Why so dramatically change people from patching on their clothes and trousers to splurging in dressing? Because the ideas and values of society changes. What is the best thing to express a person's status today in China? Neither intellectualness nor spirit, it is the wealth which is marked directly by those famous brands.

It cannot be deny that it is not all the people of China have the appetite for famous brand in their dressing. For example, many teenagers dress in jeans with fat crotch and tears; many literary young people dress T-shirt pressed image of their idol and slogan of their motto. In these cases, the way they dress expresses their individual values and refusal or defiance to mainstream society ideas and values.

In sum, based the observation of the dress of people in different periods and groups, we can found that the details of people's dress, look and act are abundant in much information about people and society. By observing and analyzing people's appearance and behavior, we can cognize values and ideas of a society even if sometimes they hide in deeply.

Word:580

回应
0

使用道具举报

yogurt4
UID: 198389

元老版主

Rank: 11

声望: 795
寄托币: 42412
注册时间: 2005-3-2
精华: 21
帖子: 2081

沙发

发表于 2006-1-14 01:27:43 |只看该作者

580刚过高分ISSUE的线.........

色不迷人人自迷。
天佑中华！！Bless bless bless

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

使用道具举报

yunziluo
UID: 2164829

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 1167
注册时间: 2005-12-6
精华: 0
帖子: 2

板凳

发表于 2006-1-14 01:34:49 |只看该作者

我是菜鸟不奢望太高的分，第一次写到这么多字，幼稚地兴奋一下，主要还是恳请大侠们给点意见，指点一下方向．
我的时间不多了－－－－－

使用道具举报

加一
UID: 2168628

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 794
注册时间: 2005-12-19
精华: 0
帖子: 0

地板

发表于 2006-1-14 23:16:31 |只看该作者

Can the superficial things such as the way people look, dress, and act reveal people's attitudes, interests and even the ideas and values of a society? I have to concede that it is true. Because the look, dress and act are the fundamental factors associated with people living, by analyzing them carefully, we can exhume people's attitudes and interests and society's ideas and values hiding in depth. I would provide some facts I have experienced to discuss the problem.
我还是不建议在文中使用设问句，感觉有点像小时候写作文，不知道怎么开头就把题目抄一遍，然后再加个问号。玩笑拉，真的开玩笑的，我觉得老外很可能不理解咱们的设问句。（其实我的开头总是Along with the development of。。。。）我感觉是在不行就直接切入题目，The statement is.....。也是可以选择的开头。
To begin with, I deem that the way people dress can reveal their spirit and society's ideology（TS）. A case in point, by documentary film and my parents description, I found that almost all the people of china（China） in last century 70's dress in the same way which included the same design called "Sun Yat-sen’s uniform", the same fabric, the same color blue, black or green. It is hardly to imagine for us today. However, the way people dress exactly presented the conservative, uniform, and eliminating-individual society ideas. At that time, all the people have a common dream to realize communism and a steady belief to follow chairman Mao. People wear badge of chairman Mao’s image and intently patch on their clothes and trousers. Why did people do this? (同上) Because wearing more badges of Mao’s image express people's allegiance to chairman Mao, more patches on clothes and trousers represent people's spurning cakes and ale which is regard as decadence by society's mainstream ideas. Thus, a society's intangible ideas and values can be visualized by dressing and looking of people.

Perhaps, those who content with my opinion would argue that the way people dress reveal society's ideas and values in a exceptional society background, but in a open and free society background it does not as the same. Admittedly, society's ideas and values might be hided deeply and expressed ambiguously by dressing in a open and democratic background, but a careful examination would reveal the clues of traces of society's ideas and values. For example, today most Chinese people dose not believe communism and they dress differently from each other rather than the same way in the past. However, they have a new common ground: appetite for famous brand, such as fashion brand Chanel, Gucci, Christian Dior (呵呵，俺真不大了解这些东西，说的是时装么？)and so forth. Sometimes, people are willing to spend much high prize to by a little thing such as hair lace, glove, wallet and so on. Why so dramatically change people from patching on their clothes and trousers to splurging in dressing? （...）Because the ideas and values of society changes. What is the best thing to express a person's status today in China? Neither intellectualness nor spirit, it is the wealth which is marked directly by those famous brands.
议论文还是应该时刻围绕中心。这段用了三个设问句，不仅带来了冗余，还会使文章的论述大打折扣。
It cannot be deny that it is not all the people of China have the appetite for famous brand in their dressing. For example, many teenagers dress in jeans with fat crotch and tears; many literary young people dress T-shirt pressed image of their idol and slogan of their motto. In these cases, the way they dress expresses their individual values and refusal or defiance to mainstream society ideas and values.
还有就是没有必要全举中国的例子啊，可以说说中东，英国之类的。
In sum, based the observation of the dress of people in different periods and groups, we can found that the details of people's dress, look and act are abundant in much information about people and society. By observing and analyzing people's appearance and behavior, we can cognize values and ideas of a society even if sometimes they hide in deeply.

使用道具举报

neverstopcow
UID: 2149686

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 0
寄托币: 1659
注册时间: 2005-10-19
精华: 0
帖子: 5

5楼

发表于 2006-1-15 00:42:30 |只看该作者

第四周作业
第三次作业：
Issue208."The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people." 208．人们的眼神、衣着和行动表现了他们的态度和兴趣。你可以通过观察人们的外表和行为来获知这个社会的想法和价值

写作提纲：
1，       赞成作者的观点。
2，       衣着能反应一个社会的意识形态和人们的精神状态。文革时人们都穿一样的衣服，打补丁，戴毛主席像章。
3，       衣着能反应出一个社会的价值取向。当前中国，人们都有买名牌的倾向。因为财富是这个时代鉴别人社会地位的标准。
4，       当然，也有人穿的不合规范，青年人的牛仔裤，文化衫。这显示出他们对主流价值观的拒绝和反抗。
5，       结尾，从时代和不同人群来看，衣着，外表确实能反应出社会的意识形态和价值取向。

Can the superficial things such as the way people look, dress, and act reveal people's attitudes, interests and even the ideas and values of a society? I have to concede that it is true. Because the look, dress and act are the fundamental factors associated with people living,(句号把) by analyzing them carefully, we can exhume （学习ing）people's attitudes and interests and society's ideas and values hiding in depth. I would provide some facts I have experienced to discuss the problem.

To begin with, I deem that the way people dress can reveal their spirit and society's ideology. A case in point, by documentary film and my parents description, I found that almost all the people of china in last century 70's dress in the same way which included the same design called "Sun Yat-sen’s uniform", the same fabric, the same color blue, black or green. It is hardly to imagine for us today. However, the way people dress exactly presented the conservative, uniform, and eliminating-individual society ideas. At that time, all the people have a common dream to realize communism and a steady belief to follow chairman Mao. People wear badge of chairman Mao’s image and intently patch on their clothes and trousers. Why did people do this? Because wearing more badges of Mao’s image express people's allegiance to chairman Mao, more patches on clothes and trousers represent people's spurning cakes and ale (强人啊，这些词都怎么积累来的阿)which is regard as decadence by society's mainstream ideas. Thus, a society's intangible ideas and values can be visualized by dressing and looking of people.

Perhaps, those who （are not）content with my opinion would argue that the way people dress reveal society's ideas and values in a exceptional society background, but in a open and free society background it does not as the same. Admittedly, society's ideas and values might be hided deeply and expressed ambiguously by dressing in a open and democratic background, but a careful examination would reveal the clues of traces of society's ideas and values. For example, today most Chinese people dose not believe communism and they dress differently from each other rather than the same way in the past. (刚刚就想说为什么共产主义就要穿得一样〉？) However, they have a new common ground:（不是吧，这种崇尚名牌的现象没有这么普遍把，也没这么多人买得起啊，现在也有很多人很朴素啊，比方在下;P） appetite for famous brand, such as fashion brand Chanel, Gucci, Christian Dior and so forth.（嘻嘻，yunzi 对这方面了解很多嘛） Sometimes, people are willing to spend much high prize to by a little thing such as hair lace, glove, wallet and so on. Why so dramatically change people from patching on their clothes and trousers to splurging in dressing?（分开说吧，原句好像由于法问题，shifting from patching... to splurging ..., why do so dramatically change happen?） Because the ideas and values of society changes. What is the best thing to express a person's status today in China? Neither intellectualness nor spirit, it is the wealth which is marked directly by those famous brands.  (哇，这样说不妥吧，说的中国很势力似的，虽然好像是这样:vomit:不过总有损形象阿)

It cannot be deny   （这种错误。。。）that it is not all the people of China have the appetite for famous brand in their dressing. For example, many teenagers dress in jeans with fat crotch and tears; many literary young people dress T-shirt pressed image of their idol and slogan of their motto. In these cases, the way they dress expresses their individual values and refusal or defiance to mainstream society ideas and values.

In sum, based（on） the observation of the dress of people in different periods and groups, we can found （有一个。。）that the details of people's dress, look and act are abundant in much information about people and society. By observing and analyzing people's appearance and behavior, we can cognize values and ideas of a society even if sometimes they hide in (这个hide 第一段就像指出，是隐藏，隐瞒，用被动吧，应该) deeply.

因为对这个题目理解不好，所以更注重你的观点，表达上还是你一项的优点，用次比较活，局势变化多，可能使我学理科，文学修养太差，不能理解穿着可以和社会的价值观念车上关系，望指点！
不当之处希望能继续讨论

使用道具举报