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[求助] 185/8，请大家不吝板砖，使劲拍 [复制链接]

newtown
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-7-16 21:08:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

8. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Despite the fact that there are a multitude of people who hold the opinion that television has reinforced people’s intimacy, from my perspective, TV has enlarged the gap between us by prohibiting our conversation, ruining our evening meal and occupying our spare time.

It’s invariably the first priority of my concerns that TV prohibits us from talking to each other while watching it. The monster requires absolute silence and attention during time of program. If any member dares to open his mouth, it is inevitable that others would immediately shut him down, which makes conversation an extravagant demand.

It constitutes another cause for my argument that TV also ruins our leisurely evening dinner. Before TV is admitted into our home, evening meal is an ideal occasion for family members to enjoy delicate food and exchange news of the day. Then TV comes in and relaxing dinner gives way to stereotyped programs. Conventional family meal does not exist any more, instead, only a cup of beer and a sandwich would be enough, providing it does not intervene with the program.

To further clarify this, it could be necessary to include that TV takes up a great deal of our spare time. For instance, friends used to go to cinemas, restaurants, theaters even sporting events together when they are free. In the contemporary society, however, there is a tremendous tendency that they would prefer to sink into the sofa and spend a whole day with the one-eyed set alone in an obscure room.

From all the evidences offered above, it is manifest that TV is separating us in terms of preventing our conversation, destroying our evening meal and occupying our free time. Only in tranquil, natural surroundings could we be aware of how little we miss the tyranny of King TV.

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小马家家
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-16 22:35:53 |只看该作者

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8. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Despite the fact that there are a multitude of people who hold the opinion that television has reinforced people’s intimacy, from my perspective, TV has enlarged the gap between us by prohibiting our conversation, ruining our evening meal and occupying our spare time.

第一段很不错,简洁干练的把自己的观点摆出来.而且句子优美.

It’s invariably the first priority of my concerns that TV prohibits(换成prevents好些) us from talking to each other while watching it. The monster requires absolute silence and attention during time of program. If any member dares to open his mouth, it is inevitable that others would immediately shut him down, which makes conversation an extravagant(是extraordinary的意思么) demand.

It constitutes another cause for my argument that TV also ruins our leisurely evening dinner. Before TV is admitted into our home, evening meal is an ideal occasion for family members to enjoy delicate food and exchange news of the day. Then TV comes in and relaxing dinner gives way to stereotyped programs. Conventional family meal does not exist any more, instead, only a cup of beer and a sandwich would be enough, providing it does not intervene with the program.

To further clarify this, it could be necessary to include that TV takes up a great deal of our spare time. For instance, friends used to go to cinemas, restaurants, theaters even sporting events together when they are free. In the contemporary society, however, there is a tremendous tendency that they would prefer to sink into the sofa and spend a whole day with the one-eyed set alone in an obscure room.
例子可以再展开下

From all the evidences offered above, it is manifest that TV is separating us in terms of preventing our conversation, destroying our evening meal and occupying our free time. Only in tranquil, natural surroundings could we be aware of how little we miss the tyranny of King TV.

写的真不错嘿嘿主要问题是例子再稍微展开,文章会显得比较饱满.

[ 本帖最后由小马家家于 2007-7-17 13:25 编辑 ]

追求
我不放弃
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真正的光明决不是永没有黑暗的时间，只是永不被黑暗所掩蔽罢了。真正的英雄决不是永没有卑下的情操，只是永不被卑下的情操所屈服罢了。

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crisissun
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板凳

发表于 2007-7-16 22:52:45 |只看该作者

写的非常好了,有GRE作文的水平.

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newtown
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地板

发表于 2007-7-17 19:28:11 |只看该作者

谢谢大虾们，我会努力改进的
prohibits我也觉得换成prevents好些，第二个extravagant demand我是想表达“奢求”，不知道对不对。
第三段我改成这样看怎么样
To further clarify this, it could be necessary to include that TV takes up a great deal of our spare time. For instance,friends used to go outside for amusement together when they are free,to cinemas, restaurants, theaters or even sporting events . In the contemporary society, notwithstanding, there is a tremendous tendency that they would prefer to sink into the sofa and spend a whole day with the one-eyed set alone in an obscure room rather than enter the realistic world itself.

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小马家家
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5楼

发表于 2007-7-17 19:43:50 |只看该作者

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谢谢大虾们，我会努力改进的
prohibits我也觉得换成prevents好些，第二个extravagant demand我是想表达“奢求”，不知道对不对。(我查了下词典,extravagant有奢侈的, 挥霍无度的, 浪费的的意思, 没有奢求的意思那.)
第三段我改成这样看怎么样

To further clarify this, it could be necessary to include that TV takes up a great deal of our spare time. For instance,friends used to go outside for amusement together when they are free,to cinemas, restaurants, theaters or even sporting events . In the contemporary society, notwithstanding, there is a tremendous tendency that they would prefer to sink into the sofa and spend a whole day with the one-eyed set alone in an obscure room rather than enter the realistic world itself. 可以再加两句自己对这一问题的评价, 作为这一小段的总结