[i习作temp] issue11 [0710G　＋U Aug小组]第8次作业 [复制链接]

wm23
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-8-1 22:08:26 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

issue11

I really appreciate the speaker's idea of global education. It can largely impulse knowledge sharing in the worldwide, and help the education achieve a higher level. However, the speaker considers the world's most persistent social problems can be solved by the global education, which requires more consideration.

Admittedly, developing global university benefits the knowledge and resource sharing. Each country has its own advanced aspect, the idea of global education can provide different countries with more opportunities to communicate and corporate in various aspects, in which form a complementary knowledge system in the whole world. Thus, the development of the whole world will be largely boosted.

However, the speaker concentrates too much attention on the point of solving the world's most persistent social problems. In contrast, if we can establish a global university, we should expect the university focus its strengthen on that perfecting students’ knowledge frame, morality orientation and culture communicating rather than just for dealing social problems. I will argue on the issue as follow.

The first argument is that a lot of multifarious problems existed in each different countries, and these problems have different origins and influences. On the other hand, even though we can attain the dream of global university and the students who in the university are engaged in solving those intractable problems; however, it is that lacking of experience and practice will make them unreliable. It is hard to solve the complex problems through single education globalizing. For example, many different areas in the world were affected by terrorism, these terrorists and their evil behaviors have seriously harmed those innocent people. Although the whole world tries its best to strike terrorism, the terrors still frequently happened in the world. Admittedly, the terrorism problem is a very severe problem that we should solve it as soon as possible; however, it cannot come true if we do not take some necessary and effective actions but just rely on the hope of the students who study in the global university.

Furthermore, the effect of solving the world's persistent problems by globalizing education is limited, especially when we meet the problem that related to religion, or some other sensitive aspects, it become more difficult. We must understand that globalize education is not a passkey that can bridge any gap among different countries. Some problems such as the conflict between Palestine and Israel, the reason of the clash seems like the ownership of Jerusalem, actually, it is a conflict between two different beliefs, cultures, ideologies and values. To solve such problems, we should pay more attention to cultural intercommunion, respecting each other in belief and ideology. Under such circumstance, the global university will play another role of a massager of communication, but not a direct problem solver.

In conclusion, admittedly, education globalizing is helpful for advancing problem solving; nevertheless, it is unreliable to consider global education as the last straw to those complex problems. If the communication, respecting, understanding, love and education achieved globalization, thus, the problem will be erased at all.

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ddbear
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-7 19:42:11 |只看该作者

I really appreciate the speaker's idea of global education. It can largely impulse knowledge sharing in the worldwide,（2个句子并列，and连接的，就不用逗号了） and help the education achieve a higher level. However, the speaker considers the world's most persistent social problems can be solved by the global education, which requires more consideration（我感觉，speaker没有这个意思……sorry）.

Admittedly, developing global university benefits the knowledge and resource sharing. Each country has its own advanced aspect,（2个句子并列了，需要连词~否则用句号。） the idea of global education can provide different countries with more opportunities to communicate and corporate in various aspects, in which（不要in，你的从句需要which做主语。in which=where） form a complementary knowledge system in the whole world. Thus, the development of the whole world（whole world重复太多了，换成worldwide development） will be largely boosted. （这个结束句不够切题。最好再提一下 global education）

However, the speaker concentrates too much attention on the point of solving the world's most persistent social problems. In contrast, if we can establish a global university, we should expect the university focus its strengthen（strength） on that（去掉） perfecting students’ knowledge frame, morality orientation and culture communicating rather than just for（去掉。focus on....rather than...） dealing social problems. I will argue on the issue as follow.

The first argument is that a lot of multifarious problems existed in each different countries, and these problems have different origins and influences. On the other hand, even though we can attain the dream of global university and the students who in the university are engaged in solving those intractable problems; however（前面有尽管，不需要再但是了）, it is that lacking of experience and practice will（it is ... that will...或者it is that 都去掉） make them unreliable. It is hard to solve the complex problems through single education globalizing. For example, many different areas in the world were affected by terrorism, these terrorists and their evil behaviors have seriously harmed those innocent people. Although the whole world（试试all nations） tries its best to strike terrorism, the terrors still frequently happened in the world. Admittedly, （不要我标出来的这2个半句，合起来说，更能支持你的观点：只教育是不够的）the terrorism problem is a very（such a） severe problem that we should solve it as soon as possible; however, it cannot come true if we do not take some necessary and effective actions but just rely on the hope of the students who study in the global university.

Furthermore, the effect of solving the world's persistent problems by globalizing education is limited, especially when we meet the problem that related to religion, or some other sensitive aspects, it become more difficult（去掉。否则这个句子还得加连词或者变成从句）. We must understand that globalize education is not a passkey that can bridge any gap among different countries. Some problems such as the conflict between Palestine and Israel, the reason of the clash（some problem是主语，还是reason是主语？如果想保持reason这个句子不变，最前面加个Considering） seems like the ownership of Jerusalem, actually（问题同上篇的furthermore，他们都是副词，不能连接2个句子，在一个新句子的开头可以~）, it is a conflict between two different beliefs, cultures, ideologies and values. To solve such problems, we should pay more attention to cultural intercommunion, respecting（should pay attention..and respect..） each other in belief and ideology. Under such circumstance, the global university will play another role of（as） a massager（messager？感觉怪怪的） of communication, but not a direct problem solver.（这段到结尾才明确出来你的意思，段首句应该改一下，要不和上段观点区分不出来。）

In conclusion, admittedly, education globalizing is helpful for advancing problem solving; nevertheless, it is unreliable to consider global education as the last straw to those complex problems. If the communication, respecting, understanding, love and education achieved globalization, thus（前面有if，也就是你前一个句子的主句还没写呢，这里不适合用thus）, the problem will be erased at all（口气缓和些更好。would be ...，不要at all）.

其实第四五段的分析挺好的，变一个切入的角度，比如直接说，“我承认...的好处，但是我认为...不能解决全部问题” 感觉更好。

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