[活动] CRACK 9T小组第13次作业----兔子走路 [复制链接]

兔子走路 UID: 2301914 兔子走路当前离线最后登录 2017-4-6 在线时间 698 小时寄托币 4504 声望 77 注册时间 2007-2-7 阅读权限 5 帖子 504 精华 2 积分 4414 UID 2301914 禁止发言声望 77 寄托币 4504 注册时间 2007-2-7 精华 2 帖子 504 主页发消息	电梯直达楼主发表于 2007-8-9 11:39:01 \|只看该作者 \|倒序浏览提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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冬子
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-10 13:27:49 |只看该作者

These days, it is generally discussed by people in our district that a new movie theater may be built in my neighborhood. Some people tend to have the view of opposing while others are inclined to support this plan with great joy. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to support this plan with the following reasons.

To begin with, it is transparent for the people in our district to watch the movie in theater （多余了）easily and with less cost. It takes me more than one hour to the nearest movie theater from my home, which even costs me the same price as the ticket to take subway （这个加个表示以前，或现在的词，比如now，表示你所描述的情况是建影院之前）. Due to the new theater built in my neighborhood, I can watch movie in the theater （语法上没有错误，但是the theater太频繁了，改成there）much more frequently than before, which the moment I think of, gives me much pleasure and satisfaction.

Moreover, the new theater built in my neighborhood could become a new recreational place where I can enjoy with my friends and family members. Usually in the weekend, it is time I should get together with my friends. （呃，这句话和下面一句别扭，如果你没有确切依据，建议改成 Usually, I enjoy weekends with my friends by playing games in the cyber-bar or having dinner in the restaurant.) Depending on our own (多余了，这里没有必要强调是你们 自己的计划）schedule, we may play games in the cyber-bar or have dinner in the restaurant. （和上段一样，把过去和将来分开） However, if there is （多余了）a new choice for us to select may give us more fun.

In addition, albeit the new movie theater built in my neighborhood has many advantages, it is not without its problems. First of all, there is no denying that it will bring much more （much more是更加，more是更多）people in （to）our district, especially in the evening; therefore the noise problem may be unavoidable. And it is still doubtful that whether there are enough parking spaces in our district for the people who drive to the theater.

In sum, we can safely draw the conclusion that the advantages of building a new movie theater in our neighborhood far overweigh its disadvantages. Hereby, I prefer to support this plan.

你这篇文章最大的缺点是时间上的混淆，要多注意哦
另外，将题目中的词反复出现不好，你的movie theater出现太多了，注意替换
蓝色是不大确定的，仅供参考
小兔子很有进步，表扬一下

[ 本帖最后由冬子于 2007-8-10 14:09 编辑 ]