[习作点评] Issue38 [winner小组]第8次作业 by迷失的自恋者 [复制链接]

迷失的自恋者
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-8-11 15:34:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

45分钟内据写完差一句话，感觉计时的时候就特别紧张，单词都想不起来了。。。。所以写的和内乱，请多指教～

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

从知识角度
1.电视在重要，教给我们很多知识
电视节目中的图象形象生动，能讲很枯燥的知识讲的有趣生动。比如讲动物的生活习性，比如讲考古，比如讲宇宙的知识，又形象的图片更容易理解
电视节目有很强的时效性，能让我们第一时间收看到最新的新闻
2.读书更重要，教给我们的除了能从电视上学到的知识之外，更多的抽象的没法具体化的，深层次的心理上精神上的
抽象的知识，比如数学，哲学，等很难通过电视节目学到
世界名著novel，简爱Jane Eyre （Charlotte Bronte），老人与海The Old Man and the Sea（Hemingway）引起我们的思考
3.从使用方法上，电视的节目不是我们能够安排的，而是我们必须被迫看电视台的节目，而书可以自己选择，并且在方便的时间观看
电视节目不方便储存，而书的存放很方便

WORDS: 574

The speaker asserts that reading books is not as important as it once was in the age of television, and watching television can provide people knowledge as much as books. I can not agree with speaker, for that though we actually learn a lot from television, reading books is still a significant way for us to obtain knowledge, especially the one of mentality and spirit.

One the first hand, from the aspect of the kind of knowledge we learn, watching television provides lively and active images which books can not, and also presents up-to-date news. And this makes watching television an action with fun and convenience, which changes some boring knowledge into easy-understand and attractive programs. For example, from the programs which talk about animals, we can see videos of alive monkeys, elephants, even tigers and lions instead of motionless and dull pictures in a book; when it comes to the archeology, illustrations of the ancient objects, the process of exploitation, and the historical videos of the relative period which is made to help audience to comprehend, are all presented in front of us, and these seems much interesting to learn; and concerning programs about the astronomy, it turns to be explicit and clear when the process of the formation of our cosmos is made into videos. What is more, because of the rapid transmittal of television signals, we can see up-to-date news directly on the television, which ensures us not to be exceeded by the times.

However, though television programs make knowledge much more easily to learn and understand, it can not provide deeply mental and spiritual knowledge which is vital to be a person and stored in books. First, we learn much more abstract and detailed knowledge through reading books, which is really hard by way of watching television, such as mathematics, physics, and philosophy. How can the complex formulas be elaborated by television program? How can the abstruse theory be illustrated by pictures? These must be learned from books. Second, reading books of classics allow us to learn in deeply spiritual level. Jane Eyre, written by Charlotte Bronte, a great woman, tells us what is the value of life -- self-respect and love, which profoundly affect our attitude about life and ourselves; The old man and the sea, an outstanding literature created by Hemingway who won Noble Praise, teaches us not to be defeat by difficulties and be strong when we are facing giant challenges.

One the second hand, from the aspect of the way we use them -- books and television, reading books offers us a far convenient and comfortable way to learn. For one thing, watching television fixes us to the schedule of programs which are arranged by television station. And we can not decide what to learn at a time, that is to say, maybe when programs about animals are expected archeology is on the show. When it comes to books, it is easy to choose a convenient time for us to read. For another thing, books are easy to store and can be read again advantageous, while television programs are hard to keep except using special machine.

From the discuss above, to sum up, we can come to the conclusion that, nowadays television and books are all important ways for us to learn knowledge, both of which has advantage and disadvantages. Nevertheless, books are vital or even more for us to expand our mental and spiritual knowledge.

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twobirds
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-11 16:50:54 |只看该作者

The speaker asserts that reading books is not as important as it once was in the age of television, and watching television can provide people knowledge as much as books. I can not agree with speaker, for that though we actually learn a lot from television, reading books is still a significant way for us to obtain knowledge, especially the one of mentality and spirit.第一段很简洁，提出观点，也可以大致了解到你要分析的角度。
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One the first hand, from the aspect of the kind of knowledge we learn, watching television provides lively and active images which books can not, and also presents up-to-date news. And this makes watching television an action with fun and convenience, which changes some boring knowledge into easy-understand and attractive programs（觉得把主句和从句要颠倒一下，television changes some boring knowledge into esay-understand and attractive programs, which make watching.....）. For example, from the programs which talk about animals, we can see videos of alive monkeys, elephants, even tigers and lions instead of motionless and dull pictures in a book; when it comes to the archeology, illustrations of the ancient objects, the process of exploitation, and the historical videos of the relative period which is made to help audience to comprehend, are all presented in front of us, and these seems much interesting to learn; and concerning programs about the astronomy, it turns to be explicit and clear when the process of the formation of our cosmos is made into videos（兰色标示的2个分句，使得你的排比举例有些中断，可以考虑放到3个具体事例后，作为一个小的总结）. What is more, because of the rapid transmittal of television signals, we can see up-to-date news directly on the television, which ensures us not to be exceeded by the times.

However, though television programs make knowledge much more easily to learn and understand, it can not provide deeply mental and spiritual knowledge which is vital to be a person and stored in books. First, we learn much more abstract and detailed knowledge through reading books, which is really hard by way of watching television, such as mathematics, physics, and philosophy. How can the complex formulas be elaborated by television program? How can the abstruse theory be illustrated by pictures? These must be learned from books. Second, reading books of classics allow us to learn in deeply spiritual level. Jane Eyre, written by Charlotte Bronte, a great woman, tells us what is the value of life -- self-respect and love, which profoundly affect our attitude about life and ourselves; The old man and the sea, an outstanding literature created by Hemingway who won Noble Praise, teaches us not to be defeat by difficulties and be strong when we are facing giant challenges. 对于第二点，书本allow us to learn in deeply spiritual level。我觉得在举例之前要加2句解释。比如人们读书是主动吸收的过程，从字里行间去思考感受。。。等等；否则直接说例子，那《简爱》的电影也可以影响人们。

One the second hand, from the aspect of the way we use them -- books and television, reading books offers us a far convenient and comfortable way to learn. For one thing, watching television fixes us to the schedule of programs which are arranged by television station. And we can not decide what to learn at a time, that is to say, maybe when programs about animals are expected archeology is on the show. When it comes to books, it is easy to choose a convenient time for us to read. For another thing, books are easy to store and can be read again advantageous, while television programs are hard to keep except using special machine. 觉得这一段论证得他inghao的。。。

From the discuss above, to sum up, we can come to the conclusion that, nowadays television and books are all important ways for us to learn knowledge, both of which has advantage and disadvantages. Nevertheless, books are vital or even more for us to expand our mental and spiritual knowledge.

总得来说，我觉得写得挺好的。总体把握得很好，论证过程中有些次序或者组织稍微调整下。可能你限时写的，能够写这么多，已经很了不起了。。。。

坚持就是胜利……

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delightx
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板凳

发表于 2007-8-12 00:43:01 |只看该作者

The speaker asserts that reading books is not as important as it once was in the age of television, and watching television can provide people (感觉这里少个词)knowledge as much as books. I can not agree with speaker, for that though we actually learn a lot from television, reading books is still a significant way for us to obtain knowledge, especially the one of mentality and spirit.

On the first hand, from the aspect of the kind of knowledge we learn, watching television provides lively and active images which books can not, and also presents up-to-date news. And this makes watching television an action with fun and convenience, which changes some boring knowledge into easy-understand and attractive programs. For example, from the programs which talk about animals, we can see videos of alive monkeys, elephants, even tigers and lions instead of motionless and dull pictures in a book; when it comes to the archeology, illustrations of the ancient objects, the process of exploitation, and the historical videos of the relative period which is made to help audience to comprehend, are all presented in front of us, and these seems much interesting to learn; and concerning programs about the astronomy, it turns to be explicit and clear when the process of the formation of our cosmos is made into videos. What is more, because of the rapid transmittal of television signals, we can see up-to-date news directly on the television, which ensures us not to be exceeded by the times.(例子多,形象丰富生动)

However, though television programs make knowledge much more easily to learn and understand, it can not provide deeply mental and spiritual knowledge which is vital to be a person and stored in books. First, we learn much more abstract and detailed knowledge through reading books, which is really hard by way of watching television, such as mathematics, physics, and philosophy. How can the complex formulas be elaborated by television program? How can the abstruse theory be illustrated by pictures? These must be learned from books. Second, reading books of classics allow us to learn in deeply spiritual level. Jane Eyre, written by Charlotte Bronte, a great woman, tells us what is the value of life -- self-respect and love, which profoundly affect our attitude about life and ourselves; The old man and the sea, an outstanding literature created by Hemingway who won Noble Praise, teaches us not to be defeat by difficulties and be strong when we are facing giant challenges.

On the second hand, from the aspect of the way we use them -- books and television, reading books offers us a far convenient and comfortable way to learn. For one thing, watching television fixes us to the schedule of programs which are arranged by television station. And we can not decide what to learn at a time, that is to say, maybe when programs about animals are expected archeology is on the show. When it comes to books, it is easy to choose a convenient time for us to read. For another thing, books are easy to store and can be read again advantageous, while television programs are hard to keep except using special machine.

From the discuss above, to sum up, we can come to the conclusion that, nowadays television and books are all important ways for us to learn knowledge, both of which has advantage and disadvantages. Nevertheless, books are vital or even more for us to expand our mental and spiritual knowledge.

限时写的已经很好了,举例丰富语言流畅,赞一个

[ 本帖最后由 delightx 于 2007-8-12 01:02 编辑 ]

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jin2005feng
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地板

发表于 2007-8-12 14:55:06 |只看该作者

回复 #1 迷失的自恋者的帖子

The speaker asserts that reading books is not as important as it once was in the age of television, and watching television can provide people knowledge as much as books. I can not agree with speaker, for that though we actually learn a lot from television, reading books is still a significant way for us to obtain knowledge, especially the one of mentality and spirit.

One the first hand, from the aspect of the kind of knowledge we learn, watching television provides lively and active images which books can not, and also presents up-to-date news. And this makes watching television an action with fun and convenience, which changes some boring knowledge into easy-understand and attractive programs. For example, from the programs which talk about animals, we can see videos of alive monkeys, elephants, even tigers and lions instead of motionless and dull pictures in a book; when it comes to the archeology, illustrations of the ancient objects, the process of exploitation, and the historical videos of the relative period which is made to help audience to comprehend, are all presented in front of us, and these seems much interesting to learn; and concerning programs about the astronomy, it turns to be explicit and clear when the process of the formation of our cosmos is made into videos. What is more, because of the rapid transmittal of television signals, we can see up-to-date news directly on the television, which ensures us not to be exceeded by the times.

However, though television programs make knowledge much more easily to learn and understand, it can not provide deeply mental and spiritual knowledge（这里是否想表达书可以反复思考琢磨，甚至巩固复习） which is vital to be a person and stored in books. First, we learn much more abstract and detailed knowledge through reading books, which is really hard by way of watching television, such as mathematics, physics, and philosophy. How can the complex formulas be elaborated by television program? How can the abstruse theory be illustrated by pictures? These must be learned from books. Second, reading books of classics allow us to learn in deeply spiritual level. Jane Eyre, written by Charlotte Bronte, a great woman, tells us what is the value of life -- self-respect and love, which profoundly affect our attitude about life and ourselves; The old man and the sea, an outstanding literature created by Hemingway who won Noble Praise, teaches us not to be defeat by difficulties and be strong when we are facing giant challenges. （最后可以总结说通过反复阅读回味领会小说的精神）

One the second hand, from the aspect of the way we use them -- books and television, reading books offers us a far convenient and comfortable way to learn. For one thing, watching television fixes us to the schedule of programs which are arranged by television station. And we can not decide what to learn at a time, that is to say, maybe when programs about animals are expected archeology is on the show. When it comes to books, it is easy to choose a convenient time for us to read. For another thing, books are easy to store and can be read again advantageous, while television programs are hard to keep except using special machine.

From the discuss above, to sum up, we can come to the conclusion that, nowadays television and books are all important ways for us to learn knowledge, both of which has advantage and disadvantages. Nevertheless, books are vital or even more for us to expand our mental and spiritual knowledge.

观点明确，论证充足，例证比我丰富多了，值得学习。感觉we用得多可以换为one

[ 本帖最后由 jin2005feng 于 2007-8-12 15:06 编辑 ]

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