[a习作temp] Argument45 [Jet小组]第三次作业 [复制链接]

ilabc
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-2-8 01:01:53 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."

1．The reason of decline varies
2．Global warming trends coincide with decline might not be the cause and effect
3．Global warming trends not means the region where Arctic deer live also includes
4．Reports from local hunters, not accurate

The editorial asserts that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer unable to migrant around the separated islands, which is connected by the ice. To support his claim, the editorial points out the reports from local hunters suggests the decrease of the deer’s population and the global warming trends on the weather. Close inspection of the evidence, however, the argument is flawed in several critical respects.

Firstly, the editorial’s conclusion rests on the assumption that the phenomenon of global warming causes the population decrement. But，his reason is poor of substantiating. Only the fact that global warming trend and the population decline occurs simultaneously does not indicate that they are the cause and effect. Maybe it is just a coincidence and the two events have no relationship.

Furthermore, such causal relationship also relies on the hypothesis that gobal warming trends raise the temperature in Artic area, which unfreezes the ice for deer to cross around the separated islands. But no further evidence can prove such global warming is also the situation is Artic area, let alone it is warm enough to unfreeze the ice.

Even it is granted that the global warming trend breaks the ice in Arctic area. The reason of population decline varies and many others factors may also contribute to the fact. In addition to temperature rise, the decline of food or increasing frequency of hunting may also account for the decline. Of course, only when the editorial takes all these elements into consideration could he come to the correct conclusion.

The editorial’s information of the population decline comes from the report of local hunters. I am afraid such source of information is too informal and unreliable. According to the passage, it is much likely that the decline of the deer’s population is just the hunters feeling, since, obviously, they cannot provide the exact number of the deer. It is possible that deer tend to be more discreet and try to avoid humans so that less chance can hunters meet deer. In addition, there is no concrete numbers or specific statistics mentioned in the passage to substantiate that decline. Therefore, the fact of decline is still dubious.

In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To solidify it, more details are needed to substantiate causal relationship between the global warming trend and deer’s population decline. Moreover, the author must provide more reliable information that shows the validity of the decline. Until such investigation has been done, the conclusion remains suspicious.

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xiahsoul
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-8 23:19:14 |只看该作者

来晚啦看了再说

The editorial asserts that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer unable to migrant around the separated islands, which is connected by the ice. To support his claim, the editorial points out the reports from local hunters suggests the decrease of the deer’s population and the global warming trends on the weather. Close inspection of the evidence, however, the argument is flawed in several critical respects（critical respect?,好像没见过这种说法，不太确定，不过你如果有把握的话也可用）.

Firstly, the editorial’s conclusion rests on the assumption that the phenomenon of global warming causes the population decrement. But，his reason is poor of substantiating. Only the fact that global warming trend and the population decline occurs simultaneously does not indicate that they are the cause and effect（后面还要加点吧，比如the cause and effect of one another?或者是the cause and effect relationship). Maybe it is just a coincidence and the two events have no relationship. (你的用词我没看到过，不知道是你有实有据的用还是闭门造车弄出来的，如果是有依据的用当然很好，如果没有，最好还是确认下有没有这样的用法，怕不地道老外看着别扭）

Furthermore, such causal relationship also relies on the hypothesis that gobal warming trends raise the temperature in Artic area, which unfreezes the ice for deer to cross around the separated islands. But no further evidence can prove such global warming is also the situation is Artic area, let alone it is warm enough to unfreeze the ice. (感觉论证稍显单薄了点）

Even it is granted that the global warming trend breaks the ice in Arctic area. The reason of population decline varies and many others factors may also contribute to the fact. In addition to temperature rise, the decline of food or increasing frequency of hunting may also account for the decline. Of course, only when the editorial takes all these elements into consideration could he come to the correct conclusion.

The editorial’s information of the population decline comes from the report of local hunters. I am afraid such source of information is too informal and unreliable. According to the passage, it is much likely that the decline of the deer’s population is just the hunters feeling, since, obviously, they cannot provide the exact number of the deer. It is possible that deer tend to be more discreet and try to avoid humans so that less chance can hunters meet deer. In addition, there is no concrete numbers or specific statistics mentioned in the passage to substantiate that decline. Therefore, the fact of decline is still dubious. （这段的观点比较有趣）

In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To solidify it, more details are needed to substantiate causal relationship between the global warming trend and deer’s population decline. Moreover, the author must provide more reliable information that shows the validity of the decline. Until such investigation has been done, the conclusion remains suspicious.（好强悍的最后一句）

还是那句话，有点用法没见过，如果LZ是有凭有据的，当然恭喜你啦，如果不是的话就要注意了
还有一点不是很清楚的是，LZ到底写这篇阿狗时的逻辑顺序是什么，是按的什么来安排各段间的先后顺序，最好是有逻辑的先后写
看得出来LZ写的很认真啊加油

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