[未归类] 自己练的一篇Essay，小的，不是PS，大家狠批 [复制链接]

海上钢琴师1900
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-2-25 07:16:23 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

1. What is the most interesting book, apart from those assigned in class, that you have read in the past year?
The 6 Most Important Decision You’ll Ever Make(by Sean Covey)

2.Why did you find this book the most interesting?
I was totally hooked by the book on my first look at its cover. These was a small bookstore beside my high school with only a small pile of English edition books-I study in a China. Most of the time, I could only see the dull pictures of the cover and the big, black-and-white topics. However, at the beginning of last semester, I went to that little store again, that time there was a big difference-I saw a book, with a pair of jeans and a great 6 on its cover. I was attracted and went to have a look. Upon opening the book, I got a huge map with words on it. One of them is ‘What can I do to keep my relationship?’ and another one ‘Which field I would be in if I were famous some day?’ It looked like a chess map to me and, actually, it was. This map is for those who do not know how to make the decision about their future. With loads of briliant ideas like this, the author successfully made me curious about his 6-decision-theory, with which I made many decisions I ‘ve never dare confront. The most admirable points is that there were some 300 different pictures and colorful charts in order to make teens like me stay interested and exctied throughout the book. Plus, there were many top students in different fields who, with great honest, gave many tips-how to date, how to keep a healthy relationship with your friends and so on so forth. All in all, this book is much more than just a dull doctrine, but a book with a pile of forture to me, and to many other my peers.

狠批吧，越狠越好。。。

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我叫怕怕
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-25 09:04:51 |只看该作者

These was a small bookstore beside my high school with only a small pile of English edition books-I study in a China. .....等我觉得都是可以不要的,还有.本身essay就不要写太多的,所以,不要写很多和题目无关的东西.多写些自己内心的感受会更好些~你的这篇文章可以提高的空间还是很大的，继续自己改哈~~:)

[ 本帖最后由我叫怕怕于 2008-2-25 09:07 编辑 ]

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tolkien_S
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板凳

发表于 2008-2-25 11:53:50 |只看该作者

以下纯属个人观点

1.你花了一半的字数描述你读这本书因为它封皮很特别--我不认为这是个好理由
2.说实话，你选的这本书我认为并不合适。这本书可能合适，但看你怎么写，而且很难写好。你夸了半天书，我对此书的结论是：这是本有大量彩色插图漂亮封面的读物（而且你觉得彩色插图最ADMIRABLE）。对作者的结论是（此结论只是假设我对你一无所知，只单看这个ESSAY而言，我这个人比较MEAN，可能话说重了，或者有偏颇，LZ请海涵）：这个人很幼稚。

五年，记忆，成长
泪水，欢笑，坚忍

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