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[i习作temp] Issue129 恳请拍砖~~必回拍!!! [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-2-28 23:00:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE129 - "Technology is a necessary but not always a positive force in modern life."
WORDS: 523        TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2008-2-28 22:37:46

As the technology has developed at a such fast speed, our lives also have largely change. Generally speaking, technology bring about many advantages to ours life, while it also take negative aspects to human being.

Admittedly, the highly development of technology is advantageous and necessary to human beings. It makes our lives become more and more convenient, for instance, the inventions of  traffic instruments such as cars, airplanes, even magnet-trains, make people can arrive at any places in a very short time. And television, video, enrich people's life in a large degree. Especially since the wide use of computer and Internet all of the world, which makes people's life more convenient. Through operating computer, people can decrease the load of work because computer can help people to address with some complex data, complete some detaied work, and etc,  which can give people more time to do other things. Internet, also brings many positive aspects to people's live and work. It makes people can have a  good communication by the means of web telephone, Electronic mail,and so forth, no matter what places, what time they are. Even two people, one is in the west of the earth while another in the east, can communicate without the regulation of time and place.

However, besides the advantages technology give us, it also bring about many negative aspects to human beings. As the development of technology, it also influence the traditional moral ideas of human beings and creat many difficult problems to human beings. Take the example of Internet again, it also do many harm to people's life, too. The crimes of Internet, are done by such people who want to gain profits such as internet cheating and etc. And the expansion of computer virus across web, also take many harm to people’s life through destroying personal computer. We cannot guarantee that all of netizens can have a high moral standard, so such bad behaviors could not be banned fundamentally. Another example is the development of clone technology. Sientists have researched clone technology also have a success in animals. Although most of scientists suppose that it cannot be allowed to experiment in human, there are still a few scientists do. There are many examples like Internet, clone, from which we can see the negative influence technology give us.

Technology like a double-edged sword, if people can make good use, it can take many positive aspects; if cannot , the whole world will be destroyed. Face so many difficult problems, the society should consider a best way to solve.  To governments, they should regulate related laws to regulate people's behavior . To human beings themselves, they should strengthen their moral standard . Especially to scientists, it is more important and necessary to strengthen their responsibility of not do bad things by using modern technology. In such condition, it can be believed that actions, which have harm to human ,will be avoided.

In sum, it is certain that what technology brings to human, not only positive aspects, but also negative. If human beings can make good use of technology, it is sure that technology can make people's life better.

[ 本帖最后由 wxtxxm 于 2008-2-28 23:03 编辑 ]
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发表于 2008-2-29 00:21:33 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE129 - "Technology is a necessary but not always a positive force in modern life."
WORDS: 523        TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2008-2-28 22:37:46

As the technology has developed at a such (such a) fast speed, our lives also have largely change (been changed). Generally speaking, technology bring (brings) about many advantages to ours (our) life, while it also take negative aspects to human being. (首段简练,但TS的提出有点过于突然 )

Admittedly (admittedly好像更多用在平衡观点的末段吧), the highly development of technology is advantageous and necessary to human beings. It makes our lives become more and more convenient, for instance, the inventions of  traffic instruments such as cars, airplanes, even magnet-trains, make people can arrive at any places in a very short time. And television, video, enrich people's life in a large degree. Especially since the wide use of computer and Internet all of the world, which makes people's life more convenient. Through operating computer, people can decrease the load of work because computer can help people to address with some complex data, complete some detaied (detailed) work, and etc,(through….because重复了语言要标准)  which can give people more time to do other things. Internet, also brings many positive aspects to people's live and work. It makes people can have a  good communication by the means of web telephone, Electronic mail,and so forth, no matter what places, what time they are. Even two people, one is in the west of the earth while another in the east, can communicate without the regulation of time and place. (这里最好有个put it in brief的总结)

However, besides the advantages technology give us, it also bring about many negative aspects to human beings. As the development of technology, it also influence the traditional moral ideas of human beings and creat many difficult problems to human beings. Take the example of Internet again, it also do many harm to people's life, too. The crimes of Internet, are done by such people who want to gain profits such as internet cheating and etc. And the expansion of computer virus across web, also take many harm to people’s life through destroying personal computer. We cannot guarantee that all of netizens can have a high moral standard, so such bad behaviors could not be banned fundamentally. Another example is the development of clone technology. Sientists have researched clone technology also have a success in animals. Although most of scientists suppose that it cannot be allowed to experiment in human, there are still a few scientists do. There are many examples like Internet, clone, from which we can see the negative influence technology give us. (bring about, give, advantage, development, take几个词用得太频繁了应时不时替换几个更准确到位的词比如negative aspects换成detrimental influence, deleterious impact啥的)

Technology (is)like a double-edged sword, if people can make good use (make good use of it), it can take many positive aspects; if cannot , the whole world will be destroyed. Face so many difficult problems, the society should consider a best way to solve.  To governments, they should regulate related laws to regulate people's behavior . To human beings themselves, they should strengthen their moral standard . Especially to scientists, it is more important and necessary to strengthen their responsibility of not do bad things by using modern technology. In such condition, it can be believed that actions, which have harm to human ,will be avoided.
(tech 的好处坏处大家都会谈得很好 要想出彩就靠你的这段平衡观点了, 这段应在多下功夫写的圆润些)
In sum, it is certain that what technology brings to human, not only positive aspects, but also negative. If human beings can make good use of technology, it is sure that technology can make people's life better.
以上只是我的一点humble opinion 觉得你在练习时应该在保证语言准确 拼写正确的基础上提高速度,另外思路要顺畅不要重复陈述 毕竟有了思路就不愁字数了
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板凳
发表于 2008-2-29 00:28:49 |只看该作者

我的文章就贴在这了啊

TOPIC: ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."
WORDS: 531          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2008-2-28 12:11:08

I do not identify myself with the speaker's contention totally. Sometimes, it is true that most of the people whose greatness are recognized be those who live after them, whereas, that does not mean the prominent or outstanding people who make obvious contribution to the development of our society could only be decided by later generations. In short, I strongly concede that though people could give a more objective and considerate judgment upon their predecessors, yet the greatness of individuals could also be recognized and emphasized by the contemporary people. To better present my point let me illustrate it below.

First of all, one has to admit that most of the greatness of individuals could be noticed by the contemporary society. With the development of science and technology, people tend to place greater importance on those who make outstanding contribution to improve their lives. As we know, large quantities of prizes or rewards are offered to the prominent persons due to their achievements and successes in academic or professional areas. A case in point, it is not yet forgotten that only those people whose greatness are recognized could receive Nobel Prize. Marconi deserved the NP in 1904 owning to his greatness in inventing the telegraph while John Nash became the recipient of NP because of his greatness in putting forward the game theory which still influence the commertial circle nowadays. Hence, it appears clearly that person's greatness could absolutely be recognized and decided by the contemporary society.

However, you might wonder why it also has so many cases that individual greatness are decided by the later generations. That's because, in the old times when the technology and science are not so developed as today, people tend to neglect or even ignore the greatness of others. There is no denying to say that the greatness lies in, one way or the other, the methods or theories that might be useful centuries ahead of people's current times. Da Vinci's note book is quite renowned today but seemed useless in his era and Maxwell's mathematical reasoning which prove the existence of energy wave also did not render the contemporary people his greatness. The only reason is that people in the ancient time could not perceive the contemporary great people's achievement.

At the other hand, sometimes the great people made mistakes when they were still alive. Because one should admit as well that there is no man but has his faults. For that matter, evident mistakes tend to distract the contemporary people's attention from their greatness and achievements because the scandals or shortcomings are always attractive for the majority people. Because of this, the society could not give an objective and accurate judgment upon the contributions of the great people who had made mistakes. To some degree this is quite normal since that nobody could make sure whether the great people would make more fatal mistakes in the long term. Hence, the society could only recognize some people’s greatness after he/she passes away.

Simply put, from the discussion above we could draw conclusion that the greatness can be recognized by the contemporary people is indisputable, whereas sometimes, people's greatness can only be decided till their death for the less social development and people's misunderstanding in their era.
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地板
发表于 2008-2-29 17:19:16 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE129 - "Technology is a necessary but not always a positive force in modern life." WORDS: 523 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2008-2-28 22:37:46 As the technology has developed at a such fast speed, our lives also have largely change. Generally speaking, technology bring about many advantages to ours life, while it also take negative aspects to human being. 可以把原题复述下,不一定是原话。要不显得有些过于突然。
Admittedly, the highly development of technology is advantageous and necessary to human beings. It makes our lives become more and more convenient, for instance, the inventions of traffic instruments (vehicle)such as cars, airplanes, even magnet-trains, make people can arrive at any places in a very short time. And television, video, enrich people's life in a large degree. Especially since the wide use of computer and Internet all of the world, which makes people's life more convenient. Through operating computer, people can decrease the load of work because computer can help people to address with some complex data, complete some detaied work, and etc, which can give people more time to do other things. Internet, also brings many positive aspects to people's live and work. It makes people can have a good communication by the means of web telephone, Electronic mail,and so forth, no matter what places, what time they are. Even two people, one is in the west of the earth while another in the east, can communicate without the regulation of time and place. 这段给我的感觉你是在堆砌。。。就是把很多很多的现代技术写到上面来,然后一个个地去说它们给人类带来的好处。。这样使得这段很分散,没能串成一起~~我的感觉~至少要在结尾给个总结句的~
However, besides the advantages technology give us, it also bring about many negative aspects to human beings. As the development of technology, it also influence the traditional moral ideas of human beings and creat many difficult problems to human beings. Take the example of Internet again, it also do many harm to people's life, too. The crimes of Internet are done by the people who want to gain profits such as internet cheating and etc. And the expansion of computer virus across web, also take many harm to people’s life through destroying personal computer. We cannot guarantee that all of netizens can have a high moral standard, so such bad behaviors could not be banned fundamentally. Another example is the development of clone technology. Sientists have researched clone technology also have a success in animals. Although most of scientists suppose that it cannot be allowed to experiment in human, there are still a few scientists do. There are many examples like Internet, clone, from which we can see the negative influence technology give us. 技术可能带给人们的坏影响。这段举了INTERNET和CLONE两个例子,比较贴切还~
Technology like a double-edged sword, if people can make good use, it can take many positive aspects; if cannot , the whole world will be destroyed (写文章留点余地,不要用will这么肯定的词,用may或would都比will 好). Face so many difficult problems, the society should consider a best way to solve. To governments, they should regulate related laws to regulate people's behavior . To human beings themselves, they should strengthen their moral standard . Especially to scientists, it is more important and necessary to strengthen their responsibility of not do bad things by using modern technology. In such condition, it can be believed that actions, which have harm to human ,will be avoided. 说技术可能给人造福,也可能毁灭人类。我前一阵问过修锐,我们新东方ISSUE老师,说一段最好有一个鲜明的观点,要么正要么负,如果想写平衡的文章话,可以2+2-这么写。。虽然我觉得你这段这么说道理上通,但我不知道是否真的合适~~权衡下吧,
In sum, it is certain that what technology brings to human, not only positive aspects, but also negative. If human beings can make good use of technology, it is sure that technology can make people's life better.

[ 本帖最后由 Marvelous_cz 于 2008-2-29 17:23 编辑 ]

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RE: Issue129 恳请拍砖~~必回拍!!! [修改]
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